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Woman comes out of her house yesterday and calls to me, I'm about 12 doors down by then.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
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Lexmark sent him a new printer as a good will gesture. He then phoned to complain the new printer came without any ink.
I like the bloke who sent back his printer in a black bin bag. Loose. And then complained when we couldn't fix it, because it was in pieces.
I've had to deal with all manner of awful customers, but one that I remember is a guy who absolutely laid into me as the item that had been sent the previous day by first class post hadn't arrived and - he reckoned - in 25 years of using Royal Mail first class post, never once had delivery taken more than one day. O-kaaaay....
Till at Halfords, about five years ago. Enter right two Eastern-European women wearing traditional clothing of some description and carrying a baby. They buy some car cleaner and a 1l bottle of motorcycle engine oil, paying with a legit £50 note.
I twigged quite early in the transaction that they don't speak much English, but as I am counting out the £45-odd change one of the woman motions towards the engine-oil and says:
"Hmn...good for baby?"
"Pardon?"
"Zees...good for baby?"
"Motorcycle oil? I don't think so.."
I don't remember how I worked it out, but I eventually deduced that they thought the motorcycle oil was a carton of milk (it was in a white bottle), and that the car cleaner was a bottle of shampoo. Evidently they couldn't read the labels, and hadn't figured out that Halfords wasn't a general supermarket. I sent them on their way with a map to take them to the nearest Supermarket, which wasn't far away, and a note to give to the staff there explaining what they wanted.
Not really stupid, but quite amusing nonetheless.
I twigged quite early in the transaction that they don't speak much English, but as I am counting out the £45-odd change one of the woman motions towards the engine-oil and says:
"Hmn...good for baby?"
"Pardon?"
"Zees...good for baby?"
"Motorcycle oil? I don't think so.."
I don't remember how I worked it out, but I eventually deduced that they thought the motorcycle oil was a carton of milk (it was in a white bottle), and that the car cleaner was a bottle of shampoo. Evidently they couldn't read the labels, and hadn't figured out that Halfords wasn't a general supermarket. I sent them on their way with a map to take them to the nearest Supermarket, which wasn't far away, and a note to give to the staff there explaining what they wanted.
Not really stupid, but quite amusing nonetheless.
Hedfix wrote:
> Working at a bookshop's interesting...
Ahaha, wonderful.
> Working at a bookshop's interesting...
Ahaha, wonderful.
I wish i had stories to tell.
Light wrote:
> I've been most disappointed at the lack of a
> Granny-screwing, hypothermia inducing cold snap this winter. Although
> seeing Carlisle get flooded did sort of make up for it.
call that a flood?
those far eastern buckos do things way better.
> I've been most disappointed at the lack of a
> Granny-screwing, hypothermia inducing cold snap this winter. Although
> seeing Carlisle get flooded did sort of make up for it.
call that a flood?
those far eastern buckos do things way better.
Cycloon wrote:
> Every day. Even better was a whiskey one - the label quite clearly
> said 70cl of Teachers at a certain price, RIGHT UNDERNEATH the 70cl,
> and he was 'but it's under the 1 litre, that's false
> advertising!!11'
"false advertising"
at which point did every cretin under the sun peek out from under their stupidly angled cap long enough to become an expert on the legal standpoint of trading standards?
why do the thickest people always convince themselves they're the smartest?
*imminent sweeping generalisation*
the only legal standings they have any experience of are drunk and disordely, petty theft and domestic violence. must they be in the majority? it just exacerbates things for the rest of us if we have to plow through wave after wave of sock-tucking mongtards.
> Every day. Even better was a whiskey one - the label quite clearly
> said 70cl of Teachers at a certain price, RIGHT UNDERNEATH the 70cl,
> and he was 'but it's under the 1 litre, that's false
> advertising!!11'
"false advertising"
at which point did every cretin under the sun peek out from under their stupidly angled cap long enough to become an expert on the legal standpoint of trading standards?
why do the thickest people always convince themselves they're the smartest?
*imminent sweeping generalisation*
the only legal standings they have any experience of are drunk and disordely, petty theft and domestic violence. must they be in the majority? it just exacerbates things for the rest of us if we have to plow through wave after wave of sock-tucking mongtards.
I have more stories than all you put together, that was just the latest.
A number of ones involving mental patients smashing their heads and threatening me.
A number of ones involving mental patients smashing their heads and threatening me.
Working at a bookshop's interesting:
"Hello - I'm looking for a book"
"Ah yes do you have the title? The author?"
"It's a red book"
"Right."
"It's a big book"
"Do you sell sellotape?"
"No, we're a bookshop. That's why it says 'bookshop' on the front of the shop'.
"Hello - I'm looking for a book"
"Ah yes do you have the title? The author?"
"It's a red book"
"Right."
"It's a big book"
"Do you sell sellotape?"
"No, we're a bookshop. That's why it says 'bookshop' on the front of the shop'.
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