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Woman comes out of her house yesterday and calls to me, I'm about 12 doors down by then.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
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Goatboy wrote:
> Assfaced old crone.
You should have walked to that old lady. Politely and calmly listened to her trivial concerns about damp mail. Then garotted her using your mail bag and strung her up from a nearby lamp-post. Any parcels in your mail bag could then be used as hefty missiles to pelt at her frail, rapidly turning limp body. She should thank you, you just reminded her what it's like to have something to be bothered about, other than a damp birthday card from some ungrateful grandson. Her last thoughts will be meaningful and worthwhile.
Then you could shudder briefly, re-focus your vision, and realise you are still 12 houses from her. You consider the matter further, and decide to walk away.
You just saved a womans life, lift your head up high, my friend.
> Assfaced old crone.
You should have walked to that old lady. Politely and calmly listened to her trivial concerns about damp mail. Then garotted her using your mail bag and strung her up from a nearby lamp-post. Any parcels in your mail bag could then be used as hefty missiles to pelt at her frail, rapidly turning limp body. She should thank you, you just reminded her what it's like to have something to be bothered about, other than a damp birthday card from some ungrateful grandson. Her last thoughts will be meaningful and worthwhile.
Then you could shudder briefly, re-focus your vision, and realise you are still 12 houses from her. You consider the matter further, and decide to walk away.
You just saved a womans life, lift your head up high, my friend.
cweek2000 wrote:
> I worked in a pharmacy for two weeks on work experience, and let me
> tell you, you get some wierd folk in there. There was one particually
> crazy american woman who nobody could understand, and someone with
> 'nits'. Apparantly he's in prison now.
"Nits" are slang for head lice. Foo'
> I worked in a pharmacy for two weeks on work experience, and let me
> tell you, you get some wierd folk in there. There was one particually
> crazy american woman who nobody could understand, and someone with
> 'nits'. Apparantly he's in prison now.
"Nits" are slang for head lice. Foo'
I work shifts and we have customers all day we are open 24 hours, and it amazes me that folk will stand in a petrol station for 20 mins or more just looking at sweets etc then complain about prices! buy the blooming sweet anyway then leave with out saying thank you! its not my fault prices are high! I only work their!
Our Postman keeps my letters dry by putting grumpy customers mail on the top! the secret is we supply him with Coffee and bickys when he is done his run! try it it works a treat long live the posty!
Our Postman keeps my letters dry by putting grumpy customers mail on the top! the secret is we supply him with Coffee and bickys when he is done his run! try it it works a treat long live the posty!
I worked in a pharmacy for two weeks on work experience, and let me tell you, you get some wierd folk in there. There was one particually crazy american woman who nobody could understand, and someone with 'nits'. Apparantly he's in prison now.
Goatboy wrote:
> Still, she's old and will die soon.
Bit harsh..
> Still, she's old and will die soon.
Bit harsh..
No.
Hmmmm
I thought you were being sarcastic, as you usually are...
...are you being sarcastic now? ;P
I thought you were being sarcastic, as you usually are...
...are you being sarcastic now? ;P
No, sorry man, you missed my point.
I liked your stories - I merely cut them out to avoid unnecessary spammage.
Fact is, working in a bookshop would be good.
I liked your stories - I merely cut them out to avoid unnecessary spammage.
Fact is, working in a bookshop would be good.
rah wrote:
> Hedfix wrote:
> Working at a bookshop's interesting...
>
> Ahaha, wonderful.
How many jobs can you read what you want and get paid for it?
> Hedfix wrote:
> Working at a bookshop's interesting...
>
> Ahaha, wonderful.
How many jobs can you read what you want and get paid for it?
Kilgore Trout wrote:
> I've had to deal with all manner of awful customers, but one that I
> remember is a guy who absolutely laid into me as the item that had
> been sent the previous day by first class post hadn't arrived and -
> he reckoned - in 25 years of using Royal Mail first class post, never
> once had delivery taken more than one day. O-kaaaay....
Was it Bob, the post office once sent a pipe bomb to his address by mistake, so he's had a thing about them ever since.
If he deny's it, he's lying.
> I've had to deal with all manner of awful customers, but one that I
> remember is a guy who absolutely laid into me as the item that had
> been sent the previous day by first class post hadn't arrived and -
> he reckoned - in 25 years of using Royal Mail first class post, never
> once had delivery taken more than one day. O-kaaaay....
Was it Bob, the post office once sent a pipe bomb to his address by mistake, so he's had a thing about them ever since.
If he deny's it, he's lying.
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