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"I dont mean to be rude, but..."

I am much better than any of you.

I much more intelligent. Much more handsome, talented and funny.

My talents with women, skills with video games, my martial artistry, and needlework proficiency far outstrip your own, without hesitation or doubt.

Compared to my considerable charm and elegance, you are all little more than wamp rats. Your combined wit and grace are equivalent to that owned by the nail of the little toe on my right foot.

You may be under the mistaken impression that you are any good at. Any skills you absurdly believe you are blessed to own are all lies and folly in comparison to my general loveliness, shininess, and happiness (all without a trace of R.E.M.).

Should I be bathed is sewage for three years, wash only in fermented vomit and constantly smear my entire body solely with my own excrement, I would still be sweeter smelling.

Anyone and everyone who disagrees with any part of the above statement should realise that they are completly wrong.

eh?

It certinally makes a change from you calling me childish doesnt it.

Foul ol' Ron? Bugg'rit! Millenium Hand and Shrimp!

I feel that perhaps due to your childish idiosyncrasies you believe that you can maintain that sweet smelling smell, even after a deposit induced by the all time great bowel loosening combination of Brussel Sprout And Garlic Curry washed down with 15 Pints Of Lager Please Barman.

Your Honour wrote:
> Shanks, I do not know how you can pretend that you have a beateous
> smell. I myself have caught a whiff of you. Once. From several miles
> away.

I am thoroughly washed with both the cleaning power of toilet duck and the germ killing action of Domestos.

Throughout the day, I wear the powerful medallion of MrBloo, imbuing e with its magical protection for over 2000 flushes.

I have even, more recently taken to using Mr Muscles expanding foam to help clean my hard to reach crevasses.

I therefore smell clean and summer time fresh, whilst at the same time being germ free flush, after flush, after flush.

I suggest the bowel imploding odours you claim to be subjected to, are, in fact of your own production. Being little more than a combination of your acidic sweat, mixing with your own waste (in which you constantly dwell), not forgetting the constant background, olfactory murdering smell, caused by your own unnatural presence (to which even the legendary scent of foul ol’ Rons must be considered a second. And that in comparison to be the smell of wildflowers on a warm summers eve)

My victory charge is on its way.

I notice you neglet to reply to my comment about your aroma.

Truth hurts my friend, and you will soon be in for a lot of pain.

Armatige Shanks wrote:

I would rather leave it to those of limitedunderstanding and capability, such as that lady boy and animal
> half-breed known as GoatBoy to lay claim as the forums humorist.

Hey, if the crown fits, wear it I say. Anyhoo, I was saddled with the label of comedic relief.

> Limited though his understanding of the subject may be. I on the
> other hand, have knowledge of everything. Spending my days, as a
> gentleman of leisure, basking in the bright illuminations of my
> genius.

I am a humble subject kneeling before you.
Divulge your goodies unto me so that I may learn from you

Armatige Shanks wrote:
Yes, my humility is often
> overwhelming in its honesty and genuine affinity with truth and
> life. To banter insults with you would provide the bookkeepers with
> little trade. Your defeat being a certainty.

Like Lennox Lewis's boxing win the other week was a certainty? Look what happened to him.

Just because the general population at large blieve something will be, doesn't neccessarily make it so.

You have been warned.

:-)

Your Honour wrote:
Thats
> 'left' in French by the way. Although i didnt really expect one such
> as yourself to know that.

I am naturally above such things. I leave it to those beneath me to fetter away their empty lives in the attempted to derive consistency in language.

I have, indeed, seen the Star Wars
> series, and to be honest, i thought it was the biggest pile of
> over-rated garbage i have ever seen!

That is obviously because you lack the calibre to understand the nuances held within that moste aged masterpiece.

After
> re-reading your original post, it has become clear to me that your
> métier is to be the clown of the forums, always attempting to
> be the popular one by dint of a rather pathetic sense of
> humour.

I would rather leave it to those of limited understanding and capability, such as that lady boy and animal half-breed known as GoatBoy to lay claim as the forums humorist. Limited though his understanding of the subject may be. I on the other hand, have knowledge of everything. Spending my days, as a gentleman of leisure, basking in the bright illuminations of my genius.

I rather find myself, however, above your childish levels
> of pathetic entertainment, preffering to use these discussion boards
> to discuss important matter, not to inflame your ridiculously small
> ego.

Yes, my humility is often overwhelming in its honesty and genuine affinity with truth and life. To banter insults with you would provide the bookkeepers with little trade. Your defeat being a certainty. I would suggest that one should to whom the expression 'Jaffa' is valid and true, should not be the first to derile another ego.

Shanks, I do not know how you can pretend that you have a beateous smell. I myself have caught a whiff of you. Once. From several miles away.

I suffered severe internal bleeding and although i have since been released from hospital, i have not yet recovered sufficiently.

Suffice to say that you aroma is worse than a fetid pile of yak cheese.

I would agree that we are indeed privileged to bask in the glory cast off by one such as yourself.

For too long, I considered myself far superior to the race known as "humans".
Armitage Shanks- I kneel at the alter of narcissism.

Before you, I am the ant in the afterbirth.

We do not owe you fear, it is our nature to do one thing correctly:
We must tremble before you.
We owe you awe