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In town this evening, I was making my rounds and caught the attention of a very rough-looking man standing outside a bookies. He was around thirty years old, black, had bad teeth, badly plaited hair, and was wearing really scruffy clothes...
He nodded at me as our eyes met, so naturally I nodded back. He responded to this by gesturing me over to him, to which I reluctantly did so. We then had a little conversation that went something like:
HIM: Y'alright mate? You know that bookies, there? *Indicates*
ME: Hmmmm...
HIM: I said you know that bookies, there? *Indicates*
ME: I said hmmmm...
HIM: Well, you know the roulette machines?
ME: Hmmmm...
HIM: Well, I've just lost eight-hundred pounds on one of them machines! And if you just lend me a pound so that I can earn it all back, I'll split the winnings with you.
ME: Nah, I'm alright mate. *Attempts to leave*
HIM: C'mon - just a quid!
ME: No.
HIM: Just one pound!
ME: I said no. I've just been to the cash machine to get out enough money to get my family's gifts, I have no money to spare!
HIM: One pound.
ME: I said no!
HIM: Forty pence, then...
ME: I'll pass. *Starts to walk away*
HIM: When you come back bring some money, yeah?
ME: Go f*** yourself!
Yeah right! I believe you. I came back ten minutes later and saw him trying to con some other sod. There's never a copper around when you want to report someone.
He nodded at me as our eyes met, so naturally I nodded back. He responded to this by gesturing me over to him, to which I reluctantly did so. We then had a little conversation that went something like:
HIM: Y'alright mate? You know that bookies, there? *Indicates*
ME: Hmmmm...
HIM: I said you know that bookies, there? *Indicates*
ME: I said hmmmm...
HIM: Well, you know the roulette machines?
ME: Hmmmm...
HIM: Well, I've just lost eight-hundred pounds on one of them machines! And if you just lend me a pound so that I can earn it all back, I'll split the winnings with you.
ME: Nah, I'm alright mate. *Attempts to leave*
HIM: C'mon - just a quid!
ME: No.
HIM: Just one pound!
ME: I said no. I've just been to the cash machine to get out enough money to get my family's gifts, I have no money to spare!
HIM: One pound.
ME: I said no!
HIM: Forty pence, then...
ME: I'll pass. *Starts to walk away*
HIM: When you come back bring some money, yeah?
ME: Go f*** yourself!
Yeah right! I believe you. I came back ten minutes later and saw him trying to con some other sod. There's never a copper around when you want to report someone.
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Yeah, he's too busy making recordings to talk fat people thin.
And yet, he wouldn't :S
Paul Mckenna should hypnotise these people into finding jobs.
Some 'story teller' caught me out once. He looked quite normal and approached me in Central Station in Glasgow.
Something about him going to Skye, I was about to suggest asking a travel person when appeals for money hit like a brick.
I made my excuses and went in Superdrug.
Something about him going to Skye, I was about to suggest asking a travel person when appeals for money hit like a brick.
I made my excuses and went in Superdrug.
It'll come to you...
Wait! I've got one!
..No, it's gone
..No, it's gone
I can't think of a single funny comment to write, I feel so left out.
You must've gone on the machine just after FM...
Man, those Microsoft shares go up fast, don't they?
Cheers for the £400 FM. Good to see that Christmas spirit is still around.
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