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please could you go on my website and read my story the finding on www.geocities.com/psychostyleworld
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Haven't read any of the stories, but from the quote Pandaemonium put up made me laugh.
Perhaps I should read them, for amusements sake.
Perhaps I should read them, for amusements sake.
Ok here's my honest assessment.
The pictures: They are bad and look like they were drawn by a six year old. I can hardly talk as I cannot draw a thing. But they are still crap.
Grammar... Their are alot of spelling mistakes in this and general errors.'Horriblest' this isn't a word. You shouldn't make up words. You also need to introduce more variety into your sentence structure. The dialogue is in no way innovative. Just big pointless conversations. Just exchange after exchange in a very dull way. It's how I used to write when I was 10. You need to adapt your technique. Doesn't your english teacher tell you this? Surely you write stories occasionally at school and get an opinion? Maybe you should even ask for a teachers opinion on this work. I would say that you would get a D/E grade. Dependant on the teacher obviously. You may even scrape a C. So anyway if you have a genuine interest in writing literature you should seek professional guidance. For better writing skills.
The story: This is either very cliched or you've copied something. Parts of it seem like a cross between max payne and the bourne identity. I've always felt that it's ok to integrate an authors ideas in a way which is familiar yet different. Ie having a similar writing style, yet not copy a story and change characters names. Which, to me, seems like what you have done.
Lastly, are you actually dyslexic?
The pictures: They are bad and look like they were drawn by a six year old. I can hardly talk as I cannot draw a thing. But they are still crap.
Grammar... Their are alot of spelling mistakes in this and general errors.'Horriblest' this isn't a word. You shouldn't make up words. You also need to introduce more variety into your sentence structure. The dialogue is in no way innovative. Just big pointless conversations. Just exchange after exchange in a very dull way. It's how I used to write when I was 10. You need to adapt your technique. Doesn't your english teacher tell you this? Surely you write stories occasionally at school and get an opinion? Maybe you should even ask for a teachers opinion on this work. I would say that you would get a D/E grade. Dependant on the teacher obviously. You may even scrape a C. So anyway if you have a genuine interest in writing literature you should seek professional guidance. For better writing skills.
The story: This is either very cliched or you've copied something. Parts of it seem like a cross between max payne and the bourne identity. I've always felt that it's ok to integrate an authors ideas in a way which is familiar yet different. Ie having a similar writing style, yet not copy a story and change characters names. Which, to me, seems like what you have done.
Lastly, are you actually dyslexic?
chippxero wrote:
> Pandaemonium wrote:
> crossbob wrote:
> do you like my stories?
>
> To be brutally honest, It's crap. Pure crap. Entertaining in a
> "damn, lets see how bad this can get" but still.
> Pure. Unadulterated. Crap.
>
> The artwork is, you guessed it, crap.
>
> See i was trying not to say that. I thought he's probably put a bit
> of time and effort in to it. I'm happy having a go at him for
> spamming and being a tard. But i thought having a go at something he
> has created was a bit to far.
>
> I posted my website address on here and luckly i got some good feed
> back for my 3d animation and how to improve it. But then i have tried
> not to tick everyone off in general everyday by stupid amounts of
> spamming and pointless threads.
No need to be horrible chippxero but my site has had more people then you mine has had 251 and yours has had 60.
> Pandaemonium wrote:
> crossbob wrote:
> do you like my stories?
>
> To be brutally honest, It's crap. Pure crap. Entertaining in a
> "damn, lets see how bad this can get" but still.
> Pure. Unadulterated. Crap.
>
> The artwork is, you guessed it, crap.
>
> See i was trying not to say that. I thought he's probably put a bit
> of time and effort in to it. I'm happy having a go at him for
> spamming and being a tard. But i thought having a go at something he
> has created was a bit to far.
>
> I posted my website address on here and luckly i got some good feed
> back for my 3d animation and how to improve it. But then i have tried
> not to tick everyone off in general everyday by stupid amounts of
> spamming and pointless threads.
No need to be horrible chippxero but my site has had more people then you mine has had 251 and yours has had 60.
Your totally right about it and i share your views i just tried to be a bit more diplomatic when he asked me why i didn't like it. I give him so much jip in all the other threads. :D
chippxero wrote:
> See i was trying not to say that. I thought he's probably put a bit
> of time and effort in to it. I'm happy having a go at him for
> spamming and being a tard. But i thought having a go at something he
> has created was a bit to far.
To be honest, this is why I don't frequent the creative writing forum.
I'd upset a lot of people.
He's posting and asking for opinions. I'm giving an opinion. I'm telling it like I see it as I an not going to patronise anyone
"Oh, it's pretty good but....". etc etc.
It's crap. Plain and simple. If he's annoyed with the critisism, and goes away and writes: -
1) Something with a plot,
2) Something well written.
Then I'll be happy.
Christ. Somewhere out there is the next Iain M Banks (I love M Banks, not Banks, M Banks) and if it takes a bit anger at a randon internet comment to get them going, so be it.
If I'd wrote something terrible, I'd rather have someone tell me than live in a f****** fantasy world thinking I'm the next Amis.
> I posted my website address on here and luckly i got some good feed
> back for my 3d animation and how to improve it. But then i have tried
> not to tick everyone off in general everyday by stupid amounts of
> spamming and pointless threads.
Spam sucks.
I'm glad you get the feedback to improve your anims. It's like programming. You can think something is a brilliant routine. Damn, It's taken hours to write, but until someonme points out that it's...... Well...... Crap....... you have to sit back down and re-evaluate.
> See i was trying not to say that. I thought he's probably put a bit
> of time and effort in to it. I'm happy having a go at him for
> spamming and being a tard. But i thought having a go at something he
> has created was a bit to far.
To be honest, this is why I don't frequent the creative writing forum.
I'd upset a lot of people.
He's posting and asking for opinions. I'm giving an opinion. I'm telling it like I see it as I an not going to patronise anyone
"Oh, it's pretty good but....". etc etc.
It's crap. Plain and simple. If he's annoyed with the critisism, and goes away and writes: -
1) Something with a plot,
2) Something well written.
Then I'll be happy.
Christ. Somewhere out there is the next Iain M Banks (I love M Banks, not Banks, M Banks) and if it takes a bit anger at a randon internet comment to get them going, so be it.
If I'd wrote something terrible, I'd rather have someone tell me than live in a f****** fantasy world thinking I'm the next Amis.
> I posted my website address on here and luckly i got some good feed
> back for my 3d animation and how to improve it. But then i have tried
> not to tick everyone off in general everyday by stupid amounts of
> spamming and pointless threads.
Spam sucks.
I'm glad you get the feedback to improve your anims. It's like programming. You can think something is a brilliant routine. Damn, It's taken hours to write, but until someonme points out that it's...... Well...... Crap....... you have to sit back down and re-evaluate.
Pandaemonium wrote:
> crossbob wrote:
> do you like my stories?
>
> To be brutally honest, It's crap. Pure crap. Entertaining in a
> "damn, lets see how bad this can get" but still.
> Pure. Unadulterated. Crap.
>
> The artwork is, you guessed it, crap.
See i was trying not to say that. I thought he's probably put a bit of time and effort in to it. I'm happy having a go at him for spamming and being a tard. But i thought having a go at something he has created was a bit to far.
I posted my website address on here and luckly i got some good feed back for my 3d animation and how to improve it. But then i have tried not to tick everyone off in general everyday by stupid amounts of spamming and pointless threads.
> crossbob wrote:
> do you like my stories?
>
> To be brutally honest, It's crap. Pure crap. Entertaining in a
> "damn, lets see how bad this can get" but still.
> Pure. Unadulterated. Crap.
>
> The artwork is, you guessed it, crap.
See i was trying not to say that. I thought he's probably put a bit of time and effort in to it. I'm happy having a go at him for spamming and being a tard. But i thought having a go at something he has created was a bit to far.
I posted my website address on here and luckly i got some good feed back for my 3d animation and how to improve it. But then i have tried not to tick everyone off in general everyday by stupid amounts of spamming and pointless threads.
Yup. Drivel.
crossbob wrote:
> do you like my stories?
To be brutally honest, It's crap. Pure crap. Entertaining in a "damn, lets see how bad this can get" but still. Pure. Unadulterated. Crap.
The artwork is, you guessed it, crap.
> do you like my stories?
To be brutally honest, It's crap. Pure crap. Entertaining in a "damn, lets see how bad this can get" but still. Pure. Unadulterated. Crap.
The artwork is, you guessed it, crap.
ok then!!
crossbob wrote:
> WHY?
When i read something i like it to entertain me. A good story is a wonderfull thing. It can make you feel something about a character or a place. They describe details that make it come to life. They grip your imagination making you want to read more.
Unfortunatly i just didn't get these from your story.
> WHY?
When i read something i like it to entertain me. A good story is a wonderfull thing. It can make you feel something about a character or a place. They describe details that make it come to life. They grip your imagination making you want to read more.
Unfortunatly i just didn't get these from your story.
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