Viewing Thread:
"New Story starting here methinks"

The sun beat down on the little group of Foggers as they watched the bees buzz and the badgers badge.
“What’ll be the plot of this story then?” sighed Grix as another gameaday dropped into his lap.
“Dunno…I’ll think” was the bored reply from Ant.
Across from these two, Armitage and Goatboy were engaged in childish movie quote games, chuckling with their trivia knowledge and pinging elastic bands at each other’s heads.
“Look at them” sneered Wookie, “Kids..bloody children”.
“Yeah but what can you do?” asked Mr Snuggly, “They provide a welcome relief from the all too familiar debate of Xbox vs PS2.”

Tony strolled across the lawn, hoisting his slacks over his waist as he brushed the crumbs of a former battenburg from his lips, “Morning lads, how’s things?”
Wookie, Grix and Snuggly looked up, shielding their eyes from the sun as Tony hoved into view.
“Morning Boss” Snuggly said, “Nothing much, just enjoying the fine weather.”
Tony paused, looked about and winced, “What are Bangers and Mash up to over there?” pointing at the now wrestling figures of Goaty and Armitage.
Armitage had Goatboy in a headlock and was yelling “C’mon, what’s the movie? It’s not hard”
Goatboy screamed like a girl and begged for mercy, “I don’t know alright? I don’t watch Brit crime flicks…they suck”

The group watched them play fighting and returned to serious, adult topics.
“Any joy with the girl-in-forum thing Tone?” Grix mumbled as he fought in vain to open his carton of juice.
“Nah, although I suspect a couple of members of trying to cheat” he said as he flopped down beside them and took the carton from Grix, opened it and handed it back with a knowing smile, “The corners first mate, remember that.”
Goatboy came running over, grass stains on his knees and a pen jammed into his ear courtesy of Armitage, “Someone just say member?”
Everyone groaned and threw things at him “Leave it. Just act like an adult for once would you? Please, just say something sensible”
“But I cant. Don’t you understand? I’m the jester of the bunch, I am here to amuse and entertain. Armitage understands.”
They looked towards Armitage, who had his hand stuck in a tube of Pringles and was bashing it over his head in an attempt to free the trapped appendage.

Wookie stood, brushed the food wrappers from his knees and straightened his t-shirt, “Well, if nothing else they provide an argument against Darwin”
Tony chuckled and scratched Snuggly behind the ears “What can you do? They mean well, just can’t seem to be serious”
“I’m serious” said Sniper, and promptly disappeared from the story for weeks at a time yet maintaining his high posting count.

Armitage had freed his hand and came over excitedly, “Tony, can we go for a ride in the car please?”
“Yeah!” yelled Goatboy, jumping up and down happily “Car! Car! Car!”
Meka pulled up in the SR mobile, they all piled in and headed off to……..

(take it from here guys)

Meka looked at the coins that had been given to him.

Bah! With that he could afford no more than a couple of pints. Surely not enough to endure the time spent with his current company.

There was only one solution. To the arcades, to win more money.

Meka stormed in, and straight to the change machine. He inserted one of his coins, and out came many two pence pieces. With these re rushed straight to the Twopenny Falls machine.

He'd have enough cash to get well and truely loaded before too long, of that he was certain!

Grix refused to be drawn into the childish banter of YH and Armitage.
Everyone waited for Goatboy to add something, but he was still convulsed on the floor of the van, the occasional wheezy “he farted…he just farted” before collapsing and holding his sides, braying like a Hyena that has been told an especially funny joke.

Wookie turned to Tony, “Paintball?”
Tony shrugged, “Best I could do given the situation boys.”
Everyone agreed it was a pretty good ploy.

“Where’d you learn the Jedi mind trick Grix?” asked Ant.

“Ah, back in the distant mists of time. You get bored waiting sometimes for another Gameaday so you do other stuff.”
Meka chuckled “Wouldn’t know anything about that myself.”

The van approached the beach-front, cars lined the promenade and children wandered along, being led by adults wearing silly hats and pretending they weren’t enjoying themselves.
Tony searched for a place to park whilst the boys stared out of the windows, overcome with the sights of this new place – all except for Shanks, who was busy putting maltesers into Goaty’s pockets, unaware of this chocolate deviousness and now bright purple in colour.

“You ok Goat?” asked Grix absently as he watched arcades glitter in the distance
“He farted…he just farted….” Came the gasping reply
“Uh-huh”

Tony climbed out and opened the back doors, Wookie tumbled out “Damn childlock doors, why do you have those?”
Armitage climbed out and pointed at the sea, making excited noises and jumping up and down. Goatboy was helped from the van, “…hahaha…he farted….oh my…fart….hehehehe”
Tony raised an eyebrow at Wookie.
Wookie smiled to himself “Fair enough”.

Once gathered (and Goaty had calmed down enough to breathe), Tony stretched and clicked his back ,”Ok, now what?”
Grix and Wookie looked at each other “Pub?”
Everyone nodded in unison. They headed towards the local boozer, Tony stopped and rummaged in his pockets, coming out with handfuls of coins.
He handed them to Shanks and Goatboy, who snatched them, looked at them in bewilderment and back at Tony, incomprehension on their faces.

“For the arcades”
They stared at the coins, then to Tony.
“You put them in and play the games?” exasperated Wookie, “Oh jesus”

The group turned to look, Shanks was pointing at dog poo on the floor and saying in an Omar Shariff accent ,”Party tricks…souvenirs…novelties..” whilst Goatboy put the occasional coin in his mouth and gummed it.

“Just let them go” chuckled Tony, “Be good for them to try stuff out themselves.”

The group headed towards the pub laughing and joking, leaving Shanks and Goaty to stare at the coins and grunt.
A lightbulb went off over Shanks’ head and he stopped.
“What?” said Goatboy
“I know what we can get with these!”
“What?”
“Tattoos! Pictures on our bodies would rock!”

They both agreed and headed off in the direction of the tattoo parlour, unaware of the trouble they would cause for the group later on.

"Tony, I'm hungry" Complained Sniper.

"Yeah Tone, you got anything we can have to eat" Goatboy was heard to say from the back.

"Wookiee, there's some sandwiches in the glove box"

Wookiee rumaged around and pulled out some sandwiches.

"Okaayyyy, we've got" He looked through the bundle of sandwiches, "Cheese and Onion"

"I'll have that" said Sniper, the sarnies were passed back.

"Peanut butter?" continued Wookiee.

"Thats mine" said SHEEPY, from the rooftop.

"Bacon surprise?" Wookiee continued shuffling through the pack of sandwiches.

"Whats so surprising about it?" asked Tony.

"I dunno, guess it must have come as a bit of a shock to the pig...."

After a while, everyone had got the food they wanted, and the van rumbled on to the seaside.

They were nearly there, when suddenly......

The silence was only broken when...


There came a soft 'parp' from the area around Grix. The smelly quickly followed, engulfing the whole of the van.

"Bloody hell Grix! What curry did you have last night?"

"Brussel Sprout and Baked Bean. It's my favourtie" Replied Grix, who sat there smugly, knowing that your own farts always smell nice.

All the windows were quickly wound down, and the van continied on it's way.

As the van approached the seaside, came upon a long, long queue of traffic.

"Wonder what's going on here then," said Tony.

"I've no idea," said Mr. Snuggly, "but I sure hope they hurry it up. It's starting to stink in here."

"Sorry," said Grix. "That'll be the curry I had last night."

Everyone groaned. Except Goaty, who sat giggling.

As the van edged forward in the traffic jam, they rounded a gentle curve in the road.

"Oh f...igs" said Tony. "Keep your heads down guys, it's a police roadblock up ahead."

"Eh?" said Wookiee. "We haven't done anything wrong!"

"Oh yeah, sorry," Tony apologised. "Got a bit confused there for a moment; thought I was running with my old crew..."

Suddenly, one of the officers at the roadblock noticed the van, and began to wave all of the traffic through.

"Woohoo! We're off!" said Wookiee as the van accelerated.

Barely suppressing laughter, Goaty said "No, that's just Grix again!" before collapsing in a heap, laughing hysterically.

As the van approached the roadblock, Grix moved up into the passenger seat. Several police in riot gear moved into position across the road, forcing Tony to stop. One burly officer stepped up to the side of the van. "Turn of the engine please, sir." he said.

Tony fought the urge to floor the accelerator and complied. Remembering his past misdeeds and trying not to look guilty, he asked, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

"We have information that a van loaded with computer nerds are on their way here today, sir. Would you know anything about that?"

"No, officer. Certainly not," said Tony, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "May I ask what crime they have committed?"

"Crimes against the Internet," said the officer. "These people stand accused of polluting the web with continuous posts of dross and inane ramblings about video games. It's quite a sick business they're involved in."

"Oh, I see. Why would they come here though?" asked Tony.

"We believe thy wish to open a Cyber Cafe in our little town, in order to peddle their filth to our children," came the reply.

The officer looked at the side of the van, the officer noted the huge red splat, with 'http://specialreserve.net' written in it.

"So... Special Reserve, eh? What's all that about then?" asked the officer.

"We're... erm..." Tony scrabbled around for an explanation. "We're a top-secret military unit," he blurted out.

"Top secret, eh? So why would a top-secret military unit advertise a web site with a big red splat?" asked the officer.

Tony had to think, and quick.

"Oh did I say 'military'?" he asked with mock innocence. "Sorry, I used to be in the army, but I left. Old habits and all that. What I meant to say was, we're a new paintball company, but we're still setting up, so we're trying to keep it secret for now."

"O...kay," said the officer. "But why advertise with the van then?"

"Erm... well... uhh... we... umm... had a... err... opportunity to... you know... get the paint job done... ahh... cheap. Yes, that's it. We had an offer we couldn't refuse, to get the paint job done real cheap. But it had to be done immediately. So we couldn't wait."

"Hmm. Okay then, sir. I'm letting you through," said the officer. "But be careful. These nerds could arrive at any time, and they could be dangerous. Watch your back."

Just then, trying to be clever, Shanks said "Console Wars".

Everyone in the back of the van fixed him with an evil stare.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" the officer boomed. He called over two other officers for backup. "Okay sir, we'll need to see some identification."

Just then, Grix waved his left hand... "You don't need to see his identification," he said.

"We don't need to see his identification," said the officer.

"These aren't the nerds you're looking for," said Grix.

"These aren't the nerds we're looking for," the officer said, confidently.

"He can go about his business," Grix ordered.

"You can go about your business," said the weak-minded fool.

"Move along", Grix said, a knowing smile breaking across his face.

"Move along! Move along!", ordered the officer, waving the van through.

The line of riot police parted, and the group went on their merry way.

Everyone in the van gazed in silent awe at Grix. Apart from Tony, who thankfully kept his eyes on the road.

The silence was only broken when...

Meanwhile, Ant was still thinking about what to do.

When he'd finally realized they'd gone, he went ballistic, and went to steal ALL of their hard-earned sugar.

He started with Grix's house.....

The passangers were beginning to get quite crushed in the car and were getting frustrated.

The radio was on.......... Hear'Say

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO shouted Sheepy, the final straw he had cracked, "get that crap off now"! Pulling out his collection of CD's he climbed over the group punching and kicking (Sniper right in the nose) and got to the front and shoved in 'Ok Computer' by Radiohead in the CD Player.

He had now calmed down and was relaxing listening to 'Paranoid Android' when the rest of the group were slighty ...... that their favourite group had been turned off (except from Grix).

They looked at Sheepy with evil eyes, none of them moving just constant staring......

10 seconds later Sheepy and Grix had been tied to the roof and Hear'Say was cranked up.

"Doris" asked Goatboy, his ears pricking up.
"Nothing, go back to sleep" sighed Wookie.
Armitage peered into the bag, looked confusedly around and tried to appear innocent: "This isn't my bag"
Tony looked into the rearview mirror, and although only his eyes were visible to the passengers, they could tell his patience was wearing thin.

Grix yanked the bag from Shanks and rummaged inside.
He came out with packs of cigarettes, a pair of drumsticks and a copy of the Erotic Witch Project, "I think I know who this belongs to" he glowered and put the bag on the floor.

"Told you" said Shanks, with a petulant tremor to his voice
"Yeah" Wookie agreed, with a worried look, "But if that isn't his, what's in Goat's bag?"

A chill descended over the car, the sun went in and birds ceased to sing.

Wòókiee Møn§†€R wrote:
> Then, suddenly, he realised... it was a

A face, even!

While staring blankly into space, Wookiee noticed something odd out of the corner of his eye...

In Armitage's ball-bag (the bag he carried his beach balls in) was an eye. "An eye?" thought Wookiee. "That's odd."

Leaning forward and straining his eyes to see in the gloomy back of the van, he tried to make sense of it a several long seconds. "An eye... and what's that? Is it... a nose?"

Then, suddenly, he realised... it was a

"Shanksy you bloody idiot! You've brought the wrong inflatable! We can't blow up Dodgy Doris at the beach - the parent's will lynch us!"