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"I Hate My Wee Brother"

He whips me with a towel in the face, and then has the audacity to get angry when I punch him, twist his arm behind his back and whip him in the eye?

He starts a fight, I beat him, then he tells on me.

God, I hate him.
When people say "all wee brothers are like that" they are talking guff.
WHenever I'm at a mates house or something, you don't hear a word from their brothers, but mines comes in and throws things at you.

THen he drinks some Irn Bru and he doesn't shut up.

WHY WON'T HE DIE?

English_Bloke wrote:
> You were doing it one-handed and shaking quite a bit at the time...for some reason.

I knew someone was in the wardrobe!

I find the best method is making them drink their own urine.

Make the bad man stop, mummy.

*starts rocking back and forth*

Timmargh wrote:
> Speaking as a "wee" brother (see what I did there?) he did
> it because you used to hold him down, tickle his feet until he
> couldn't breath due to shouty-laughing and then put your mum's
> lipstick all over his face.
>
> *and the mists of Timmargh's past close again*

The best torture is to sit on their chest, jab your finger into their side to make them laugh and then sit there laughing as your sibbling struggles to breath because the compression on their chest means they cannot stop laughing.

You were doing it one-handed and shaking quite a bit at the time...for some reason.

I don't usually need one, but having it in my eyes took some explaining.

Any excuse to wear lipstick, eh Tim?

Speaking as a "wee" brother (see what I did there?) he did it because you used to hold him down, tickle his feet until he couldn't breath due to shouty-laughing and then put your mum's lipstick all over his face.

*and the mists of Timmargh's past close again*

Call the police. That's what everyone else does when they have family squabbles.

I'm in dispair that you've got pi$$ as a sibling.