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"A man needs protection ..."

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.

One wet and rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

She looked out the window and yelled to her lover: "Quick! Jump out the window! My husband's home early!"

"I can't jump out the window!", came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. "It's raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun, the rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window. As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running alongside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could.  After a little while, a small group of runners, which had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.

"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free."

Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

"Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. "Do you always wear a condom when you run?

"Nope ... only when it's raining."

AfroJoe wrote:
> Shaneo.

;c) However did you guess, Detective JoeFro.

What do you call a boomerang that does'nt come back?

A stick

Blank wrote:
> A panda walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the round
> face?"*
>
>
>
>
>
> *Note, this is NOT a true story, in reality the barman said "Get
> out, you're a panda"

This is pure gold.

I love you, man

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. The barman is stunned and, in his shock, charges the gorilla £3.50.

The gorilla stands there, drinking his beer..

The barman stutters, "Erm, er, we, erm, don't get, er, that many gorillas in here."

And the gorilla says, "I'm not surprised, considering the price of your beer."

A golden one from Timmargh yet again. Paradox's wasn't bad either...:D

Timmargh wrote:
> Reefer wrote:
> A donkey walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long
> face?".
>
> Old.


I think that was the point.

Both (Paradox's and Timmargh's) were cause of a chuckle.

Nice one you guys.

That explains it.

Shaneo.

Reefer wrote:
> Blank's added degree of wit > j00.

Who the hell are you, anyway? And who put you in charge of "who's funnier than who"?