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"Spider"

So I'm in kitchen getting myself some cereal when I feel something on my arm. I look but I can't see anything yet it moves more... then it dawns on me that it's a insect of some kind. Then the little git comes over the horizon of my arm.

I shat myself basically and danced around still holding my cereal bowl. It flew off my arm and crawled off into the night.

I woke up to find a midget running round my room. I bludgeoned him to death with a copy of the Bible. It fell open on love thy fellow man when he dropped.

I've hidden the body in my neighbour’s rabbit hutch.

There was a wasp buzzing round my room one day, I too ran out like a pansy.
But then I went back in and managed to shoo it away. Success.

I forgot to mention it was fairly big for a house spider.

Girl.

I woke up to find a wasp flying around my head the other day. What did I do? Went back to sleep.

you pansy

Been there, done that.

I was walking across my room at uni, and I walked into a spider that was conveniently hanging from the ceiling.

I did the manly thing though, I screamed like a little girl, chucked off my shirt and ran outside much to the amusement of the people in the corridoor.

So I'm in kitchen getting myself some cereal when I feel something on my arm. I look but I can't see anything yet it moves more... then it dawns on me that it's a insect of some kind. Then the little git comes over the horizon of my arm.

I shat myself basically and danced around still holding my cereal bowl. It flew off my arm and crawled off into the night.