Viewing Thread:
"Spider"

So I'm in kitchen getting myself some cereal when I feel something on my arm. I look but I can't see anything yet it moves more... then it dawns on me that it's a insect of some kind. Then the little git comes over the horizon of my arm.

I shat myself basically and danced around still holding my cereal bowl. It flew off my arm and crawled off into the night.

I've had a spider crawling around on my back before.
Just felt itchy for ages (nothing out of the ordinary, o-ho-ho) - I mean, about 2 hours - then reached down the back of my T-Shirt to give a good scratch.

Pulled my hand back out and this big båstard was just sat on it. One of those ones with the massive, thin legs attached to a little black ball.

I flicked across the room and slammed a phone-book against it on the wall. The stain is still there.

Well to someone with their screensize set to 5000 pixels, that's tiny :P

Must have trouble walking.

Actual, Bloke, actual.

So what's the scale you're working to?

It's almost as big as mine.

My member is this

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big.
I swear.

The midget was this...

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... Big

The spider on my arm was this big

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The other day I was watching some silent Sci-Fi film with Sean Connery on TV, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the biggest spider in the whole world crawling up the wall. It was approximately this big

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Actually that might even be a little small. It had the longest legs you've ever seen. We moved the couch so we could kill it as a trophy, but it disappeared and hasn't been seen since. Needless to say I haven't been back to my mates house since then