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Everyone loves a good joke.. So come share them here :)
Contagious Virus
A man returns to england. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
"This is your doctor. We got the results back from your tests and we've found that you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!"
"Oh my gosh," cries the man. He's in a panic now. "What are you going to do, doctor?"
"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes and pita bread."
"Will that cure me?" asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, "Well, no, but it's the only food we can get under the door."
Contagious Virus
A man returns to england. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
"This is your doctor. We got the results back from your tests and we've found that you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!"
"Oh my gosh," cries the man. He's in a panic now. "What are you going to do, doctor?"
"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes and pita bread."
"Will that cure me?" asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, "Well, no, but it's the only food we can get under the door."
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Oh you are funny .. id include u ..but as you've only made me laugh once.. i'll hold off till you get a better hang of it.
Še§†iny
"Yo mama's so fat, she went into a restaurant and when they handed her the menu she said 'OK'"
u like "freewebs" too, then...
[URL] http://www.freewebs.com/hulagadoo/jokes.htm [/URL]
this is my website of jokes, check it out and sign the guest book.
this is my website of jokes, check it out and sign the guest book.
It is well I walked in to a drum set.
©H®I§ wrote:
> I walked into a drum *bud um chsh!* ;-)
You're useless.
It's, "two elephants and a pair of symbols are chucked off of a cliff."
> I walked into a drum *bud um chsh!* ;-)
You're useless.
It's, "two elephants and a pair of symbols are chucked off of a cliff."
Še§†iny wrote:
> A guy goes to a Council office to interview for a job. The
> interviewer asks him,
> "Are you a veteran?"
>
> "Yes, I served two tours in Iraq"
>
> "Good, that counts in your favor. Do you have any
> service-related disabilities?"
>
> "I am 100% disabled. A mortar round blew off my testicles so
> they declared
> me disabled. It doesn't affect my ability to work, though."
>
> "Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for
> you. I can
> >hire you right now! Our working hours are 8 to 4.
> Come on in about 10 tomorrow and we'll get you started."
>
> "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at
> 10?"
>
> "Well, here at the Council, we don't do anything but sit around
> and scratch our balls for the first two hours.
> No point in you coming in for that."
It's actually quite true, I just sit there doing b*gger all until 11am each morning, and your taxes pay for me to do it, ha!
Anyway, my joke.
What's got two legs and bleeds a lot?
Half a dog.
> A guy goes to a Council office to interview for a job. The
> interviewer asks him,
> "Are you a veteran?"
>
> "Yes, I served two tours in Iraq"
>
> "Good, that counts in your favor. Do you have any
> service-related disabilities?"
>
> "I am 100% disabled. A mortar round blew off my testicles so
> they declared
> me disabled. It doesn't affect my ability to work, though."
>
> "Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for
> you. I can
> >hire you right now! Our working hours are 8 to 4.
> Come on in about 10 tomorrow and we'll get you started."
>
> "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at
> 10?"
>
> "Well, here at the Council, we don't do anything but sit around
> and scratch our balls for the first two hours.
> No point in you coming in for that."
It's actually quite true, I just sit there doing b*gger all until 11am each morning, and your taxes pay for me to do it, ha!
Anyway, my joke.
What's got two legs and bleeds a lot?
Half a dog.
the jokes i know are in FAR too bad taste to post here.
ya simpering PC wimps :)
ya simpering PC wimps :)
Lucy-Jane wrote:
> J-42 wrote:
> Little tomato, momma tomato and papa tomato are walking down the
> street. Little tomato lags behind and papa tomato squishes him and
> says: "Ketchup."
>
> Those of you who haven't seen it, it's from Pulp Fiction. :D
>
> Yeah i laughed first time i saw that movie. And that joke always
> makes me giggle to this day!
You are joking right, that's the worst joke in existence, even worse than the one I posted.
Go and stand in the corner.
> J-42 wrote:
> Little tomato, momma tomato and papa tomato are walking down the
> street. Little tomato lags behind and papa tomato squishes him and
> says: "Ketchup."
>
> Those of you who haven't seen it, it's from Pulp Fiction. :D
>
> Yeah i laughed first time i saw that movie. And that joke always
> makes me giggle to this day!
You are joking right, that's the worst joke in existence, even worse than the one I posted.
Go and stand in the corner.
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