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Another free game up for grabs - best walkthrough/guide gets the prize. I'll let Silent Thunder give you the lowdown:
A walkthrough for the forums. Maybe it could help all the nice JATs and newbies by getting to know all the users. Basically you take the whole list of posters, I think the top posters for the last 30 days would be best as these guys and gals are still around and write a little guide to them. Whether it be they eat newbies or adore them and what forums they hang out in etc. It would be nothing personal like "They like chips and pizza" because well.. it's the Internet. Just a little friendly guide to all the users.
Also when ether a JAT / Newbie signs up they will probably feel slightly overwhelmed, this can easily be solved with a guide to the forums and how to get started. And where to post certain topics etc.
And like all the Extra GADs you obviously won't want it to be too serious so the guides would try to be comical and slightly 'wacky' as it were. Also improving the atmosphere of the forums to new users, if they see a serious walkthrough / guide to the users and forums they will think: boring. But seeing a funny one will make them want to stay because ukchatforums.com is a fun, friendly place.
So a summary:
> A guide to all the forums on ukchatforums.com, what to post where etc.
> A guide to the top 100 posters in the last 30 days or something a long these lines - just make sure the guide covers all the members who are still around.
> A guide / walkthrough how to get started at ukchatforums.com E.g. Introduce yourself in General Chat
You guide won't have to follow this exact structure, but gives you a good idea of what we're looking for.
Best entry will of course win a game of your choice and hopefully see your thread stickied for all to see.
Closing date is 10pm on October 14th.
Good luck to all who choose to enter!
A walkthrough for the forums. Maybe it could help all the nice JATs and newbies by getting to know all the users. Basically you take the whole list of posters, I think the top posters for the last 30 days would be best as these guys and gals are still around and write a little guide to them. Whether it be they eat newbies or adore them and what forums they hang out in etc. It would be nothing personal like "They like chips and pizza" because well.. it's the Internet. Just a little friendly guide to all the users.
Also when ether a JAT / Newbie signs up they will probably feel slightly overwhelmed, this can easily be solved with a guide to the forums and how to get started. And where to post certain topics etc.
And like all the Extra GADs you obviously won't want it to be too serious so the guides would try to be comical and slightly 'wacky' as it were. Also improving the atmosphere of the forums to new users, if they see a serious walkthrough / guide to the users and forums they will think: boring. But seeing a funny one will make them want to stay because ukchatforums.com is a fun, friendly place.
So a summary:
> A guide to all the forums on ukchatforums.com, what to post where etc.
> A guide to the top 100 posters in the last 30 days or something a long these lines - just make sure the guide covers all the members who are still around.
> A guide / walkthrough how to get started at ukchatforums.com E.g. Introduce yourself in General Chat
You guide won't have to follow this exact structure, but gives you a good idea of what we're looking for.
Best entry will of course win a game of your choice and hopefully see your thread stickied for all to see.
Closing date is 10pm on October 14th.
Good luck to all who choose to enter!
Page:
There, this is my entry. No more. My fingers hurt.
---------------------------------------------------
Hello and welcome to Phi11ip’s grand tour of all things Ukchatforums.
If you’d like to keep your arms and legs inside the thread at all times it will reduce the risk of RSI from typing random crap in every thread that you see just so that you can get a higher post count.
Please note that anyone caught doing this will be castrated, and where deemed necessary, banned.
We’ll start off at the breeding ground for crap, the General Chat forum. In here you’ll find many regulars and newbies learning the great skill of being able to type properly, using proper grammar and spelling properly.
Many people visit here on a regular basis and it’s one of the most popular forums, but for many different reasons. People seem to think that anything crap that they post will automatically get them millions of replies of people worshipping them and usually find out the hard way when everyone just calls them a stupid gimp.
You’ll have the regular people like gerrid, Memorandum! Timmargh, Microchips and Azul attempting to bring some beneficial crap to the forums and most of the time they’ll succeed, but then most of the time you’ll just get random pointless time wasting crap by people who really don’t have any benefit to the human race, such as [INSERT PEOPLE HERE!]
The general idea of this forum is to post general stuff that is of interest to other people. Nobody wants to know if you’re attempting to be funny and are selling your toe nails on eBay, nobody cares about Smints either, and nobody likes anyone who can’t spell while failing miserably to be funny at the same time. Just think of being unfunny as being ugly, and not being able to spell as being ginger. Just imagine being both of those at the same time!
Enough said there!
Anyway, if you’d all like to jump on the bandwagon we’ll move across to a completely random forum and start posting random crap seeing as the notable election is nearing us. Maybe if we post enough crap in other random forums more people will vote for us and we’ll be notables!?!
Here we are at the Life forum, this forum is designed for more intelligent ‘discussion’ using bigger words, which make no sense.
Unfortunately, like a war torn third world country this place is a tip. Religion being to blame as usual!
Everyone who believes in God should go over there with Forest Fan, and everyone who doesn’t believe in God should go over there, with everyone else in the forum.
Terrorists are also a problem too, just when it seems that we have peace and quiet, someone will let off a ‘nuclear bomb’ of a message in one of the already ‘heated’ threads causing the fighting to start again, it’s a dangerous place in there, and posting messages about cartoons in the Daily Star isn’t going to help you at all…
The idea is that you post more intellectual stuff here, stuff that will enlighten people and allow for a ‘grown up’ exchange of views and ideas. As I said however, this really isn’t the case, petty arguments and boring, “I’m having problems and I want to get sympathy off of everyone,” type posts are all over the place, there’s occasionally a few decent threads but unless you want to end up becoming sworn enemies with someone, it’s best not to voice your opinions in here.
If we all jump back onto the forum train, we’ll carry on to one of the more humorous parts of the whole network, the WWE forum.
In here you’ll find kids pretending to smash chairs around each other’s heads and writing massive long stories telling us just how they do it, they also seem to have a fetish for describing the skimpy outfits that they wear in these fantasy battles in the most revealing fashion too.
I quote:
“Ant dropped his cape in the middle of the ring, just leaving him standing there in a tiny see-thru pair of Speedos. ©H®I§ just couldn’t hold himself back at this sight; he slowly walked over to Ant and stroked his baby-oil coated body. They just couldn’t wait for the wrestling to start.”
See what I mean now? Don’t go trying to tell them that it’s fake either, they all know that it’s fake, and made up, and not interesting at all, and is poorly acted, and is just plain stupid, yet they never give a valid reason for why they like it. They just call ~you~ pathetic and make wrestling related jokes at you.
Time to move on now, the WWE fans are getting a bit fidgety, I’m getting a bit nervous too.
Unfortunately due to the lack of time we’ll have to combine the next three forums into one but you can still get the idea of what goes on from within them.
The PS2, Gamecube and XBOX forums are all full of people ready to discuss what they think of their own consoles. Most of the chat is OK, however these areas are breeding grounds for fanboys; pathetic, one sided, inbred idiots who really don’t know anything at all and believe that their console is the best thing in the world ever!
The Sony forum is full of pre-teen little kids who seem to believe that the PS2 is for older grown up people, hence why they are playing it. They also believe that the Gamecube is for ‘little kids’ as it has colourful little characters. I’ve never understood this theory that seems to exist, there are more kids owning PS2s than Gamecubes, yet Gamecubes are for kids. If anyone ever cracks this theory, don’t bother posting it, as you’ll only cause more problems, things like this cause massive wars, massive wars cause people to cry.
These forums are quite self-explanatory, don’t be an idiot and you’ll be fine. Time to move onwards though so if you’d all like to stop posting millions of crap and copied reviews in the hope of winning GAD and follow me, I’ll take you the last few forums.
The last forums aren’t as popular as the others; in fact some are pretty crap so I’ll just take you to the semi-decent ones.
The Web Design, PC, Internet and Freeola forum is for, well, what it says. If you’ve got any problems you should post in here for a response either telling you what’s wrong, or making fun of you for being a complete idiot who should be banned from using a computer.
No matter how good you think you are too, always adopt the idea that you’re crap at making websites. Never try to act like you’re good or you’ll be lynched.
Always search Google first too as 99.9% of problems have been mentioned somewhere on the internet before, asking for people to write tutorials and help to do stuff for you won’t earn you any friends, in fact, you’ll probably end up killing yourself with the abuse you’ll get.
Onto the last few forums now, well hit the home straight with the Movies and Music forum.
In here we have a great difference in views and taste, and for one of the first times in history, ~most~ people can get along with each other regardless of what they do and don’t like.
The forum is pretty self-explanatory with what you post, and most crap is acceptable as long as it’s good crap, there are a few exceptions however:
Nobody likes Slipknot, posting in there about how great Slipknot (and other related stuff is) will only result in a lot of mocking and abuse about how you’re a troubled teenager who only likes loud noise with screaming. Any attempt to redeem yourself will only result in further mocking so it’s best not to even start.
Liking ‘Mickey-Mouse music’ is also a crime punishable by extreme mocking. Never admit that you think Babycakes is a great song, you don’t like Scooter, and a great way to fit in with everyone is to declare your amazing hate for Busted and how you wish they were dead.
Just because someone else has different tastes to you, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Most of the time you’re wrong, unless you hate R&B/Rap and you’re explaining how crap it is. In that case you are right.
The Sport forum is a place of great mockery and hate. If you support Arsenal, you are automatically given the title of ‘Forum Scum,’ along with Wookie-Monster and Scope. There are other dirty people in there too so try to stay away from them. Supporting Spurs however is good and you will be treated like royalty. Always post about how you love Spurs and how good they are, never post anything bad, or you may as well support Arsenal.
Note: Wrestling is not a sport; it’s a soap opera.
Here we go, the tour is nearly at a finish, we’ll take our last stop at the ‘forum staff-room’ where most problems and complaints will be met by ‘bannage’ and warnings. In the rare case that you do have a genuine problem you ~should~ get help here, I say it like that because most of the time the staff are just as surprised at a problem as you are, 99.9% of new stuff that is added has a problem with it, so moan away here.
Anyway, I’m bored now and I bet you are, so go away.
---------------------------------------------------
Hello and welcome to Phi11ip’s grand tour of all things Ukchatforums.
If you’d like to keep your arms and legs inside the thread at all times it will reduce the risk of RSI from typing random crap in every thread that you see just so that you can get a higher post count.
Please note that anyone caught doing this will be castrated, and where deemed necessary, banned.
We’ll start off at the breeding ground for crap, the General Chat forum. In here you’ll find many regulars and newbies learning the great skill of being able to type properly, using proper grammar and spelling properly.
Many people visit here on a regular basis and it’s one of the most popular forums, but for many different reasons. People seem to think that anything crap that they post will automatically get them millions of replies of people worshipping them and usually find out the hard way when everyone just calls them a stupid gimp.
You’ll have the regular people like gerrid, Memorandum! Timmargh, Microchips and Azul attempting to bring some beneficial crap to the forums and most of the time they’ll succeed, but then most of the time you’ll just get random pointless time wasting crap by people who really don’t have any benefit to the human race, such as [INSERT PEOPLE HERE!]
The general idea of this forum is to post general stuff that is of interest to other people. Nobody wants to know if you’re attempting to be funny and are selling your toe nails on eBay, nobody cares about Smints either, and nobody likes anyone who can’t spell while failing miserably to be funny at the same time. Just think of being unfunny as being ugly, and not being able to spell as being ginger. Just imagine being both of those at the same time!
Enough said there!
Anyway, if you’d all like to jump on the bandwagon we’ll move across to a completely random forum and start posting random crap seeing as the notable election is nearing us. Maybe if we post enough crap in other random forums more people will vote for us and we’ll be notables!?!
Here we are at the Life forum, this forum is designed for more intelligent ‘discussion’ using bigger words, which make no sense.
Unfortunately, like a war torn third world country this place is a tip. Religion being to blame as usual!
Everyone who believes in God should go over there with Forest Fan, and everyone who doesn’t believe in God should go over there, with everyone else in the forum.
Terrorists are also a problem too, just when it seems that we have peace and quiet, someone will let off a ‘nuclear bomb’ of a message in one of the already ‘heated’ threads causing the fighting to start again, it’s a dangerous place in there, and posting messages about cartoons in the Daily Star isn’t going to help you at all…
The idea is that you post more intellectual stuff here, stuff that will enlighten people and allow for a ‘grown up’ exchange of views and ideas. As I said however, this really isn’t the case, petty arguments and boring, “I’m having problems and I want to get sympathy off of everyone,” type posts are all over the place, there’s occasionally a few decent threads but unless you want to end up becoming sworn enemies with someone, it’s best not to voice your opinions in here.
If we all jump back onto the forum train, we’ll carry on to one of the more humorous parts of the whole network, the WWE forum.
In here you’ll find kids pretending to smash chairs around each other’s heads and writing massive long stories telling us just how they do it, they also seem to have a fetish for describing the skimpy outfits that they wear in these fantasy battles in the most revealing fashion too.
I quote:
“Ant dropped his cape in the middle of the ring, just leaving him standing there in a tiny see-thru pair of Speedos. ©H®I§ just couldn’t hold himself back at this sight; he slowly walked over to Ant and stroked his baby-oil coated body. They just couldn’t wait for the wrestling to start.”
See what I mean now? Don’t go trying to tell them that it’s fake either, they all know that it’s fake, and made up, and not interesting at all, and is poorly acted, and is just plain stupid, yet they never give a valid reason for why they like it. They just call ~you~ pathetic and make wrestling related jokes at you.
Time to move on now, the WWE fans are getting a bit fidgety, I’m getting a bit nervous too.
Unfortunately due to the lack of time we’ll have to combine the next three forums into one but you can still get the idea of what goes on from within them.
The PS2, Gamecube and XBOX forums are all full of people ready to discuss what they think of their own consoles. Most of the chat is OK, however these areas are breeding grounds for fanboys; pathetic, one sided, inbred idiots who really don’t know anything at all and believe that their console is the best thing in the world ever!
The Sony forum is full of pre-teen little kids who seem to believe that the PS2 is for older grown up people, hence why they are playing it. They also believe that the Gamecube is for ‘little kids’ as it has colourful little characters. I’ve never understood this theory that seems to exist, there are more kids owning PS2s than Gamecubes, yet Gamecubes are for kids. If anyone ever cracks this theory, don’t bother posting it, as you’ll only cause more problems, things like this cause massive wars, massive wars cause people to cry.
These forums are quite self-explanatory, don’t be an idiot and you’ll be fine. Time to move onwards though so if you’d all like to stop posting millions of crap and copied reviews in the hope of winning GAD and follow me, I’ll take you the last few forums.
The last forums aren’t as popular as the others; in fact some are pretty crap so I’ll just take you to the semi-decent ones.
The Web Design, PC, Internet and Freeola forum is for, well, what it says. If you’ve got any problems you should post in here for a response either telling you what’s wrong, or making fun of you for being a complete idiot who should be banned from using a computer.
No matter how good you think you are too, always adopt the idea that you’re crap at making websites. Never try to act like you’re good or you’ll be lynched.
Always search Google first too as 99.9% of problems have been mentioned somewhere on the internet before, asking for people to write tutorials and help to do stuff for you won’t earn you any friends, in fact, you’ll probably end up killing yourself with the abuse you’ll get.
Onto the last few forums now, well hit the home straight with the Movies and Music forum.
In here we have a great difference in views and taste, and for one of the first times in history, ~most~ people can get along with each other regardless of what they do and don’t like.
The forum is pretty self-explanatory with what you post, and most crap is acceptable as long as it’s good crap, there are a few exceptions however:
Nobody likes Slipknot, posting in there about how great Slipknot (and other related stuff is) will only result in a lot of mocking and abuse about how you’re a troubled teenager who only likes loud noise with screaming. Any attempt to redeem yourself will only result in further mocking so it’s best not to even start.
Liking ‘Mickey-Mouse music’ is also a crime punishable by extreme mocking. Never admit that you think Babycakes is a great song, you don’t like Scooter, and a great way to fit in with everyone is to declare your amazing hate for Busted and how you wish they were dead.
Just because someone else has different tastes to you, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Most of the time you’re wrong, unless you hate R&B/Rap and you’re explaining how crap it is. In that case you are right.
The Sport forum is a place of great mockery and hate. If you support Arsenal, you are automatically given the title of ‘Forum Scum,’ along with Wookie-Monster and Scope. There are other dirty people in there too so try to stay away from them. Supporting Spurs however is good and you will be treated like royalty. Always post about how you love Spurs and how good they are, never post anything bad, or you may as well support Arsenal.
Note: Wrestling is not a sport; it’s a soap opera.
Here we go, the tour is nearly at a finish, we’ll take our last stop at the ‘forum staff-room’ where most problems and complaints will be met by ‘bannage’ and warnings. In the rare case that you do have a genuine problem you ~should~ get help here, I say it like that because most of the time the staff are just as surprised at a problem as you are, 99.9% of new stuff that is added has a problem with it, so moan away here.
Anyway, I’m bored now and I bet you are, so go away.
Memorandum! wrote:
> Bejam wrote:
> It's
> not supposed to make users fall about with laughter
>
> It's not meant to make them want to slit their wrists through sheer
> depression either.
OK, I was thinking about writing something along the lines, but I kept it to myself.
It's true though, you can either be funny and informative, or just be plain boring.
> Bejam wrote:
> It's
> not supposed to make users fall about with laughter
>
> It's not meant to make them want to slit their wrists through sheer
> depression either.
OK, I was thinking about writing something along the lines, but I kept it to myself.
It's true though, you can either be funny and informative, or just be plain boring.
Bejam wrote:
> It's
> not supposed to make users fall about with laughter
It's not meant to make them want to slit their wrists through sheer depression either.
> It's
> not supposed to make users fall about with laughter
It's not meant to make them want to slit their wrists through sheer depression either.
gerrid wrote:
> Will all the entries be as boring as Bejams?
*Shrugs* You have my permission to try and write a better one. It's not supposed to make users fall about with laughter, it's meant to be fairly serious and informative to help new users.
They want useful info, not a load of unfunny jokes.
> Will all the entries be as boring as Bejams?
*Shrugs* You have my permission to try and write a better one. It's not supposed to make users fall about with laughter, it's meant to be fairly serious and informative to help new users.
They want useful info, not a load of unfunny jokes.
Chapter 1
As you may already know, the best way to get what you want on the Internet (often know as the Interweb) is by shouting.
As you may already know, the best way to get what you want on the Internet (often know as the Interweb) is by shouting.
I agree with this statement wholeheartedly
Only funny ones should win.
Then a serious one can be used but nobody will ever look at it.
Then a serious one can be used but nobody will ever look at it.
I predict this as well. Remember when we predicted that something rubbish would win the last EGAD?
Oh how right we were.
Oh how right we were.
The answer is most likely "yes".
Will all the entries be as boring as Bejams?
Page: