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"You be careful!"

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Wed 25/08/04 at 16:10
Regular
"Puerile Shagging"
Posts: 15,009
Out in the sticks as a rural cop is much different.
I spent all Monday night dealing with one mental health patient after another.

I went to this house for people with mental health problems where there was a report of an elderly lady attacking members of staff. Myself and another officer turned up and there she was. 63-years-young, about 5’ 7” with really skinny arms and legs.

Me: Hi there, can we sit down and have a chat?

Lady: No! Pish off! I funking hate you! You be careful. You be careful.

Ok, I thought. I talked to the staff who told me she had been like this for ages, just standing in the doorway spouting random swear words and occasionally trying to slap people.

We decided that we would have to sit her down until the doctor could come and see her. Luckily at this point she tried to attack another officer, so we had to take control of her anyway. We took one arm each and she then tried to bite us, so we had to put her arms behind her back. She then tried spitting at us, so we had to bend her forward a little to stop her from landing one load of globules mess. So, there we were. Two officers putting restraints on an elderly lady who is bent at the waist and now unable to move, when we heard a little voice say…”you be careful. You be careful”.

So, to cut a long story short, we sat her down, she kept getting up every 20 minutes only to threaten us and then be sat back down again. 3 and a half hours later a doctor came and said, “yep, she’s nuts, take her to hospital” and then go back off to bed. So at 4am we took her to hospital.

Last night was very quiet. We only had about 4 jobs to deal with over the 11-hours. Still, I got to drive around a lot quite quickly to try to learn the area.

Not a post with me usual zest or humour, but that is because I’m nakered. Two weeks holiday now! Woo!
Wed 25/08/04 at 16:10
Regular
"Puerile Shagging"
Posts: 15,009
Out in the sticks as a rural cop is much different.
I spent all Monday night dealing with one mental health patient after another.

I went to this house for people with mental health problems where there was a report of an elderly lady attacking members of staff. Myself and another officer turned up and there she was. 63-years-young, about 5’ 7” with really skinny arms and legs.

Me: Hi there, can we sit down and have a chat?

Lady: No! Pish off! I funking hate you! You be careful. You be careful.

Ok, I thought. I talked to the staff who told me she had been like this for ages, just standing in the doorway spouting random swear words and occasionally trying to slap people.

We decided that we would have to sit her down until the doctor could come and see her. Luckily at this point she tried to attack another officer, so we had to take control of her anyway. We took one arm each and she then tried to bite us, so we had to put her arms behind her back. She then tried spitting at us, so we had to bend her forward a little to stop her from landing one load of globules mess. So, there we were. Two officers putting restraints on an elderly lady who is bent at the waist and now unable to move, when we heard a little voice say…”you be careful. You be careful”.

So, to cut a long story short, we sat her down, she kept getting up every 20 minutes only to threaten us and then be sat back down again. 3 and a half hours later a doctor came and said, “yep, she’s nuts, take her to hospital” and then go back off to bed. So at 4am we took her to hospital.

Last night was very quiet. We only had about 4 jobs to deal with over the 11-hours. Still, I got to drive around a lot quite quickly to try to learn the area.

Not a post with me usual zest or humour, but that is because I’m nakered. Two weeks holiday now! Woo!
Wed 25/08/04 at 16:16
Regular
Posts: 20,776
surely the term 'CS Gas' must have crossed your mind.
Wed 25/08/04 at 16:55
Regular
"Twenty quid."
Posts: 11,452
Or "headshot" ... ?
Wed 25/08/04 at 17:07
Regular
"Psytrance junkie"
Posts: 4,114
So we're free to cause havoc in Cambridgeshire for the next 2 weeks?
Wed 25/08/04 at 22:41
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
Every time I read one of your little updates, you always seem to be about to go on a holiday...
Wed 25/08/04 at 22:42
Regular
"Puerile Shagging"
Posts: 15,009
Nah, I've just been posting about this holiday. My last holiday was in Feb.
Wed 25/08/04 at 22:43
Regular
"Selected"
Posts: 4,199
I think you should have gotten this woman in some sort of choker hold
Wed 25/08/04 at 22:43
Regular
"Selected"
Posts: 4,199
don't they teach you anything at.....military.....academy. or wrestling school. or where ever they teach you.
Wed 25/08/04 at 22:44
Regular
"Puerile Shagging"
Posts: 15,009
We used minimum force. A inverted wrist lock.
Wed 25/08/04 at 22:46
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Pfft I need to deal with nutters all the time.

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