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Out in the sticks as a rural cop is much different.
I spent all Monday night dealing with one mental health patient after another.
I went to this house for people with mental health problems where there was a report of an elderly lady attacking members of staff. Myself and another officer turned up and there she was. 63-years-young, about 5’ 7” with really skinny arms and legs.
Me: Hi there, can we sit down and have a chat?
Lady: No! Pish off! I funking hate you! You be careful. You be careful.
Ok, I thought. I talked to the staff who told me she had been like this for ages, just standing in the doorway spouting random swear words and occasionally trying to slap people.
We decided that we would have to sit her down until the doctor could come and see her. Luckily at this point she tried to attack another officer, so we had to take control of her anyway. We took one arm each and she then tried to bite us, so we had to put her arms behind her back. She then tried spitting at us, so we had to bend her forward a little to stop her from landing one load of globules mess. So, there we were. Two officers putting restraints on an elderly lady who is bent at the waist and now unable to move, when we heard a little voice say…”you be careful. You be careful”.
So, to cut a long story short, we sat her down, she kept getting up every 20 minutes only to threaten us and then be sat back down again. 3 and a half hours later a doctor came and said, “yep, she’s nuts, take her to hospital” and then go back off to bed. So at 4am we took her to hospital.
Last night was very quiet. We only had about 4 jobs to deal with over the 11-hours. Still, I got to drive around a lot quite quickly to try to learn the area.
Not a post with me usual zest or humour, but that is because I’m nakered. Two weeks holiday now! Woo!
I spent all Monday night dealing with one mental health patient after another.
I went to this house for people with mental health problems where there was a report of an elderly lady attacking members of staff. Myself and another officer turned up and there she was. 63-years-young, about 5’ 7” with really skinny arms and legs.
Me: Hi there, can we sit down and have a chat?
Lady: No! Pish off! I funking hate you! You be careful. You be careful.
Ok, I thought. I talked to the staff who told me she had been like this for ages, just standing in the doorway spouting random swear words and occasionally trying to slap people.
We decided that we would have to sit her down until the doctor could come and see her. Luckily at this point she tried to attack another officer, so we had to take control of her anyway. We took one arm each and she then tried to bite us, so we had to put her arms behind her back. She then tried spitting at us, so we had to bend her forward a little to stop her from landing one load of globules mess. So, there we were. Two officers putting restraints on an elderly lady who is bent at the waist and now unable to move, when we heard a little voice say…”you be careful. You be careful”.
So, to cut a long story short, we sat her down, she kept getting up every 20 minutes only to threaten us and then be sat back down again. 3 and a half hours later a doctor came and said, “yep, she’s nuts, take her to hospital” and then go back off to bed. So at 4am we took her to hospital.
Last night was very quiet. We only had about 4 jobs to deal with over the 11-hours. Still, I got to drive around a lot quite quickly to try to learn the area.
Not a post with me usual zest or humour, but that is because I’m nakered. Two weeks holiday now! Woo!
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Better than 1 o'clock.
Maybe she got the chop.
Shame about that 5 o clock shadow mind, kind of gives it away.
Shame about that 5 o clock shadow mind, kind of gives it away.
Actually, that's pretty gross. Where would it go? Tuck it behind? what if you got a boner - it would ping in someone's eyes!
The hooker bit. More likely McDonalds toilets and of the system.
and do you?
She asked my boss if we sold thongs.
SHEEPY wrote:
> She's taken a shine to me.
So, that's what "she" calls it, then?
> She's taken a shine to me.
So, that's what "she" calls it, then?
English_Bloke wrote:
> monkey_man wrote:
> I remember staying round at Snuggly's once
>
> Don't think you can just slip that in and then not elaborate.
I think that was actually the night we met Gayboot up in London, then hung about with Mackie from the FLC, before retiring to the Ritz to snort crack off hooker's backs. One of them memories I made up, guess which one?
> monkey_man wrote:
> I remember staying round at Snuggly's once
>
> Don't think you can just slip that in and then not elaborate.
I think that was actually the night we met Gayboot up in London, then hung about with Mackie from the FLC, before retiring to the Ritz to snort crack off hooker's backs. One of them memories I made up, guess which one?
What does your shop sell?
hormones?
hormones?
Well, there's a transvestie who visits my shop regularly. She's taken a shine to me.
*shiver*
*shiver*
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