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Well as many of you know by now I'm your resident gay member and I have been having some relationship problems as of late. In fact it's been scheisse. I have been going out with my PERFECT boyfriend for the past 3 months (on the 16th on this month) and it's been amazing being with him. However on Wednesday I made a big mistake.
My ex called Chris well...my new guy is very protective of me around him as Chris has tried while we're going out, to err get at me. So I said to Mark look if you're that bothered about Chris, I'll never see him again. He's my past and you're my future. Mark declined though and said "No he's been a good friend to you for near enough 3 years now I don't want to be the reason you stop seeing him.
I just left it at that after and me and Mark continued our great relationship. We had plans to move in with each other in Mid-october, we both gave up uni for it and he's working his ass of working anti-social ours to get the initial money until I start saving from a part time job i plan to get on Tuesday.
He only gets Wednesdays off from this job and we planned to spend everyone together. Just being together...it's all I ever want. However on his first wednesday off I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I spent a great day as always with him and I decided to end the night by taking him to an Edinburgh gay bar (habanas) as he hadn't seen any of Edinburgh's. When we were there we started drinking and having a good time when my ex-Chris came in. I told Mark who he was and said to Mark "Don't worry I wont come back for a drink with him".
After a couple of hours Mark had to go home. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him so I convinced him to stay for a while longer and get the late train home. Eventually he had to go though so I walked him to the train station, hugged him, kissed him, told him how much I loved him and said goodbye. Seconds later Chris phoned and said "Why don't you come back for one drink? There's a pineapple bacardi waiting for you" I said no but then he said "For god's sake! You've got to have a life outside Mark you know"...so I reconsidered and joined him for one drink, two if you count the bottle of volvic I bought for the walk home.
While I was there though Mark phoned my mobile. I said "Hey babe, sorry I'm at Haban...." and he hung up on me. I thought he was just a bit annoyed at me for going back for a drink but I still felt like crap that I'd caused the one man I truely love to feel like that so I walked home and couldn't get to sleep. I tried phoning and texting him but he answered and replied to nothing. It just made me feel worse and worse and I knew he must be angry about something else too.
I got up the next day and the first thing I checked was my phone to see if he got back to me and he hadn't so I went on MSN were he explained all. I promised him I would never see Chris again if that's what he wanted a while ago he was upset that I went back to see him after Habanas. I was sure Mark said he didn't want me to stop seeing Chris so I didn't give it much thought but now I know I should have kept that promise regardless and I am keeping it now.
Mark says he lost his trust in me that night and now we don't have a relationship...it hurt me so so much to see him say that. It was terrible.
I felt so bad for hurting him and I didn't know what to do. However, he did talk to me again. In fact I met Mark again yesterday. He phoned me at 1:00am after work and after talking for an hour-hour and a half he asked if I wanted to come and see him. I always said I was just a phonecall away and I went to see him a few hours later (got there at 12 noon). At first it was hard but I knew it would be. We talked about it at the start and decided just to put it behind us and try and get back what we had (we're not breaking up!!! YES!) I was so relieved when I heard that and it made me so so happy to be given the chance to make him happy again.
He say's it's going to be hard and I can understand why it will be but I'm sure we'll work through it. I can't afford us not to, I made a mistake and although I can't change it. We all learn from our mistakes and take something from it, I took the lesson that I can never ever do anything to jeapordise our relationship again. I love him far far too much to ever lose him.
I'm sure when he saw me he must have been able to see how much I was hurting, how truely sorry I was and there must have been some part of him that saw that I'd learnt my lesson, even if it was the hard way.
The only problem now is earning his trust again. It's going to be so so hard, I have to earn his trust again and he has to learn to trust again. All I want though is our relationship as it was. Perfect, just like him.
He works 8 till 8 Sat and Sun after a 6 till midnight work shift on Friday. I've never spent so long not talking to him before and considering the circumstances I'm sure you can understand how much I miss him and want to talk to him. I want to be with him so much. Earlier on I couldn't really take it. It felt so bad just wanting to phone him but knowing he was at work. I needed a distraction and I turned to something I never have before.
I decided to self harm, not properly really. I didn't drag a stanley knife across my skin. I was smoking at the time and I stubbed it out on my wrist. The pain of the burn took away some of the mental pain but now I realise it was just a distraction and now I have to cover the burn scar. I'm not sure if I regret it because it made me feel better for a few moments but I just don't know what to do. It's so frustrating knowing you'd do anything for someone, knowing they could trust you and that you'd die for them and them not to trust you back. I just love him so much and want him to love me like he did before. I just feel so bad right now.
I don't know what you're all going to make of this post and I don't know what kind of responses I'm wanting but I just wanted to talk to some people about it. Thanks for your time.
My ex called Chris well...my new guy is very protective of me around him as Chris has tried while we're going out, to err get at me. So I said to Mark look if you're that bothered about Chris, I'll never see him again. He's my past and you're my future. Mark declined though and said "No he's been a good friend to you for near enough 3 years now I don't want to be the reason you stop seeing him.
I just left it at that after and me and Mark continued our great relationship. We had plans to move in with each other in Mid-october, we both gave up uni for it and he's working his ass of working anti-social ours to get the initial money until I start saving from a part time job i plan to get on Tuesday.
He only gets Wednesdays off from this job and we planned to spend everyone together. Just being together...it's all I ever want. However on his first wednesday off I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I spent a great day as always with him and I decided to end the night by taking him to an Edinburgh gay bar (habanas) as he hadn't seen any of Edinburgh's. When we were there we started drinking and having a good time when my ex-Chris came in. I told Mark who he was and said to Mark "Don't worry I wont come back for a drink with him".
After a couple of hours Mark had to go home. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him so I convinced him to stay for a while longer and get the late train home. Eventually he had to go though so I walked him to the train station, hugged him, kissed him, told him how much I loved him and said goodbye. Seconds later Chris phoned and said "Why don't you come back for one drink? There's a pineapple bacardi waiting for you" I said no but then he said "For god's sake! You've got to have a life outside Mark you know"...so I reconsidered and joined him for one drink, two if you count the bottle of volvic I bought for the walk home.
While I was there though Mark phoned my mobile. I said "Hey babe, sorry I'm at Haban...." and he hung up on me. I thought he was just a bit annoyed at me for going back for a drink but I still felt like crap that I'd caused the one man I truely love to feel like that so I walked home and couldn't get to sleep. I tried phoning and texting him but he answered and replied to nothing. It just made me feel worse and worse and I knew he must be angry about something else too.
I got up the next day and the first thing I checked was my phone to see if he got back to me and he hadn't so I went on MSN were he explained all. I promised him I would never see Chris again if that's what he wanted a while ago he was upset that I went back to see him after Habanas. I was sure Mark said he didn't want me to stop seeing Chris so I didn't give it much thought but now I know I should have kept that promise regardless and I am keeping it now.
Mark says he lost his trust in me that night and now we don't have a relationship...it hurt me so so much to see him say that. It was terrible.
I felt so bad for hurting him and I didn't know what to do. However, he did talk to me again. In fact I met Mark again yesterday. He phoned me at 1:00am after work and after talking for an hour-hour and a half he asked if I wanted to come and see him. I always said I was just a phonecall away and I went to see him a few hours later (got there at 12 noon). At first it was hard but I knew it would be. We talked about it at the start and decided just to put it behind us and try and get back what we had (we're not breaking up!!! YES!) I was so relieved when I heard that and it made me so so happy to be given the chance to make him happy again.
He say's it's going to be hard and I can understand why it will be but I'm sure we'll work through it. I can't afford us not to, I made a mistake and although I can't change it. We all learn from our mistakes and take something from it, I took the lesson that I can never ever do anything to jeapordise our relationship again. I love him far far too much to ever lose him.
I'm sure when he saw me he must have been able to see how much I was hurting, how truely sorry I was and there must have been some part of him that saw that I'd learnt my lesson, even if it was the hard way.
The only problem now is earning his trust again. It's going to be so so hard, I have to earn his trust again and he has to learn to trust again. All I want though is our relationship as it was. Perfect, just like him.
He works 8 till 8 Sat and Sun after a 6 till midnight work shift on Friday. I've never spent so long not talking to him before and considering the circumstances I'm sure you can understand how much I miss him and want to talk to him. I want to be with him so much. Earlier on I couldn't really take it. It felt so bad just wanting to phone him but knowing he was at work. I needed a distraction and I turned to something I never have before.
I decided to self harm, not properly really. I didn't drag a stanley knife across my skin. I was smoking at the time and I stubbed it out on my wrist. The pain of the burn took away some of the mental pain but now I realise it was just a distraction and now I have to cover the burn scar. I'm not sure if I regret it because it made me feel better for a few moments but I just don't know what to do. It's so frustrating knowing you'd do anything for someone, knowing they could trust you and that you'd die for them and them not to trust you back. I just love him so much and want him to love me like he did before. I just feel so bad right now.
I don't know what you're all going to make of this post and I don't know what kind of responses I'm wanting but I just wanted to talk to some people about it. Thanks for your time.
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Hmmm I always find it funny that you breeders say men and women are designed for each other but men have their prostates where no woman can get at.
maddmun wrote:
> I don't care.
> I depsise the idea of homosexuality, as it's just wrong.
> I rate it up there with murder, and all those other bad things.
Whilst I personally have no qualms with people being gay, I respect that some others aren't going to like it. But the suggestion that being gay is as bad as murdering somebody is just painfully shallow I'm afraid. Just think about what you’re saying here. Really.
> I don't care.
> I depsise the idea of homosexuality, as it's just wrong.
> I rate it up there with murder, and all those other bad things.
Whilst I personally have no qualms with people being gay, I respect that some others aren't going to like it. But the suggestion that being gay is as bad as murdering somebody is just painfully shallow I'm afraid. Just think about what you’re saying here. Really.
SHEEPY wrote:
> Infact I do many friends
Lucky them.
*Titters like a little girl*
> Infact I do many friends
Lucky them.
*Titters like a little girl*
Belldandy wrote:
>>
> Don't know if Sheepy is right to say you are too young, I get the
> feeling it's because you're gay because people younger than you have
> commented on girlfriends here with no comments like that. To you it's
> no different from the way most of us here fancy women. It's your life
> and only you know if it's how you feel.
Pisss off, it's got nothing to do with his sexuality. I'd say the same to any 17 year old that thinks he's old enough to survive in the real world.
Infact I do many friends who think they'll live off part-time jobs and get engaged.
>>
> Don't know if Sheepy is right to say you are too young, I get the
> feeling it's because you're gay because people younger than you have
> commented on girlfriends here with no comments like that. To you it's
> no different from the way most of us here fancy women. It's your life
> and only you know if it's how you feel.
Pisss off, it's got nothing to do with his sexuality. I'd say the same to any 17 year old that thinks he's old enough to survive in the real world.
Infact I do many friends who think they'll live off part-time jobs and get engaged.
Azul wrote:
> maddmun wrote:
> I hate gays.
>
> You just lost a busload of respect from me, munn.
I don't care.
I depsise the idea of homosexuality, as it's just wrong.
I rate it up there with murder, and all those other bad things.
> maddmun wrote:
> I hate gays.
>
> You just lost a busload of respect from me, munn.
I don't care.
I depsise the idea of homosexuality, as it's just wrong.
I rate it up there with murder, and all those other bad things.
maddmun wrote:
> I hate gays.
You just lost a busload of respect from me, munn.
Anyway, you left uni for him? Oh dear.
And yeah, I just lost a few minutes of my life. Oh well.
***
Also;
"I'm your resident gay member" - there's something about this that makes me think, "What a tool", despite me already knowing that. It's that sort of thing where it's like, your're flaunting your homosexuality in a bid to be looked upon as special.
Wow, you fancy blokes. So?
> I hate gays.
You just lost a busload of respect from me, munn.
Anyway, you left uni for him? Oh dear.
And yeah, I just lost a few minutes of my life. Oh well.
***
Also;
"I'm your resident gay member" - there's something about this that makes me think, "What a tool", despite me already knowing that. It's that sort of thing where it's like, your're flaunting your homosexuality in a bid to be looked upon as special.
Wow, you fancy blokes. So?
I Despise the idea of homosexuality.
Human nature was to survive and reproduce.
If all people were gay, our species would die out.
Therefore, gay = bad.
OK, I've rephrased that, I've jsut realised there that wording truly is wrong.
I won't "hate" someone purely on the basis that they're gay, but I despise teh idea of it, and have a lot less respect for people who are gay, than who are not.
I'm not the guy who runs around shouting insults at people who are gay, nor do I hold it against them when they're making opinions, I'm no like that, but I do hate the idea of it, and stuff.
Human nature was to survive and reproduce.
If all people were gay, our species would die out.
Therefore, gay = bad.
OK, I've rephrased that, I've jsut realised there that wording truly is wrong.
I won't "hate" someone purely on the basis that they're gay, but I despise teh idea of it, and have a lot less respect for people who are gay, than who are not.
I'm not the guy who runs around shouting insults at people who are gay, nor do I hold it against them when they're making opinions, I'm no like that, but I do hate the idea of it, and stuff.
Forest Fan wrote:
> Note: This doesn't constitute to a 'hate' of gays, I don't believe in
> all that, by I strongly feel homosexuality is disgusting and I hate
> that act at least.
Why bother?
You're a decent enough chap. So why bother? If you've got something helpful or constructive to say then say it. If you're just typing a post to call someone sick, then booger off.
Cubist, to me it sounds like your fella is kind of pathetic. He tells you not to cut him out of your life and then gives you the really mature silent treatment for spending time with him.
Now if you'd done something with this bloke I could understand him being upset. But over this? Tell him to grow up, or at least make sure he says what he means.
By him saying "don't cut him out of your life" does he actually mean, "never see or talk to him again? If he does are you to guess he means it?
Bloody drama queen.
Probably not that helpful, but you've done nothing wrong.
> Note: This doesn't constitute to a 'hate' of gays, I don't believe in
> all that, by I strongly feel homosexuality is disgusting and I hate
> that act at least.
Why bother?
You're a decent enough chap. So why bother? If you've got something helpful or constructive to say then say it. If you're just typing a post to call someone sick, then booger off.
Cubist, to me it sounds like your fella is kind of pathetic. He tells you not to cut him out of your life and then gives you the really mature silent treatment for spending time with him.
Now if you'd done something with this bloke I could understand him being upset. But over this? Tell him to grow up, or at least make sure he says what he means.
By him saying "don't cut him out of your life" does he actually mean, "never see or talk to him again? If he does are you to guess he means it?
Bloody drama queen.
Probably not that helpful, but you've done nothing wrong.
I don't hate gays.
I just hate Cub!st
I just hate Cub!st
Cub!st wrote:
> Well as many of you know by now I'm your resident gay member and I
> have been having some relationship problems as of late.
Do you actually expect to be in a 'good' relationship when you're gay? Men and women are designed for each other - I'll stick my neck out again, by saying going out with another man is sick. What I'm trying to say is, that when two men going out together is wrong; it won't EVER work.
Note: This doesn't constitute to a 'hate' of gays, I don't believe in all that, by I strongly feel homosexuality is disgusting and I hate that act at least.
> Well as many of you know by now I'm your resident gay member and I
> have been having some relationship problems as of late.
Do you actually expect to be in a 'good' relationship when you're gay? Men and women are designed for each other - I'll stick my neck out again, by saying going out with another man is sick. What I'm trying to say is, that when two men going out together is wrong; it won't EVER work.
Note: This doesn't constitute to a 'hate' of gays, I don't believe in all that, by I strongly feel homosexuality is disgusting and I hate that act at least.
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