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"I went to a sex shop"

I went to a sex shop at the weekend with my girlfriend, well actually two. One was Ann Summers and was so s*** it hardly counts: 400 shelves of hen night crap and a few d****s to make them look hardcore. The other one was good though. I thought it'd be really sleazy but it wasn't. It was quite bright and airy - I thought it would be dingy and smell of spunk. And actual women worked there, not just some fat dude who still lives with his ma. Anyway, they sold the usual sort of sex crap blah blah blah.

But the best BEST thing about it was that my girlfriend tried something on and so I got to sit on a couch in the changing rooms and then - praise be to sexy jesus - three real life strippers came in and started trying on outfits for work. That would have been good enough; but not only did they all come out and do little twirls in their skimpy little uniforms but one of them actually kept the curtain of her cubicle half open while she was getting naked. She totally fancied me. Cheap thrills are the greatest thrills. So I felt like a bit of a perv because I was being a bit of a perv but it was the most fun ever.

The moral of the story is: everyone should go to a sex shop.

Azul wrote:
> I laugh at how people'd feel the need as to needlessly and
> irrelevantly insult someone from an internet forum.

How bloody ironic

Aha, y'see, I worded it carefully.
My slapping down of idiotic comments, like the one you just made, are relevant.

SHEEPY wrote:
> Now if you excuse me I'm off to bed (with unknown's bird)

If I wasn't drunk then I'd probably have noticed this before you went to bed with her. Oh well.

Also, randomly and irrelevantly insult fellow forum users is great, as long as the fellow forum user is not me.

Azul wrote:
> I laugh at how people'd feel the need as to needlessly and
> irrelevantly insult someone from an internet forum.

It's Bell.

Pfft.

Dare I ask which one? Because the only ones I know of ARE seedy.

What Glasgow really needs is a Victoria's Secret. Definitely my favourite ever shop. I was there in the States last week. Mistake number one was not wearing a disguise. Mistake number two was walking in with Max. I told the sales woman the stuff was for him.

Notorious Biggles wrote:
> I told the sales woman the stuff was for him.

Ahahaha!

I expect that reads how you didn't want it to. :D

No, it does perfectly. It takes a lot to embarass me and I'll never be back there again. He on the other hand has to face that sales woman thinking he wears women's underwear.

Notorious Biggles wrote:
> Dare I ask which one? Because the only ones I know of ARE seedy.

I wouldn't dare go into one in Glasgow in case I met my dad or something. This shop was in Blackpool and it was ironically the least seedy bit of a very seedy town.

Notorious Biggles wrote:
> No, it does perfectly. It takes a lot to embarass me and I'll never be
> back there again. He on the other hand has to face that sales woman
> thinking he wears women's underwear.

I meant it read like you were buying the stuff for him in a 'you two are an item' sort of way. :D