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"I went to a sex shop"

I went to a sex shop at the weekend with my girlfriend, well actually two. One was Ann Summers and was so s*** it hardly counts: 400 shelves of hen night crap and a few d****s to make them look hardcore. The other one was good though. I thought it'd be really sleazy but it wasn't. It was quite bright and airy - I thought it would be dingy and smell of spunk. And actual women worked there, not just some fat dude who still lives with his ma. Anyway, they sold the usual sort of sex crap blah blah blah.

But the best BEST thing about it was that my girlfriend tried something on and so I got to sit on a couch in the changing rooms and then - praise be to sexy jesus - three real life strippers came in and started trying on outfits for work. That would have been good enough; but not only did they all come out and do little twirls in their skimpy little uniforms but one of them actually kept the curtain of her cubicle half open while she was getting naked. She totally fancied me. Cheap thrills are the greatest thrills. So I felt like a bit of a perv because I was being a bit of a perv but it was the most fun ever.

The moral of the story is: everyone should go to a sex shop.

Notorious Biggles wrote:
> I told the sales woman the stuff was for him.

Ahahaha!

I expect that reads how you didn't want it to. :D

Dare I ask which one? Because the only ones I know of ARE seedy.

What Glasgow really needs is a Victoria's Secret. Definitely my favourite ever shop. I was there in the States last week. Mistake number one was not wearing a disguise. Mistake number two was walking in with Max. I told the sales woman the stuff was for him.

Pfft.

Azul wrote:
> I laugh at how people'd feel the need as to needlessly and
> irrelevantly insult someone from an internet forum.

It's Bell.

SHEEPY wrote:
> Now if you excuse me I'm off to bed (with unknown's bird)

If I wasn't drunk then I'd probably have noticed this before you went to bed with her. Oh well.

Also, randomly and irrelevantly insult fellow forum users is great, as long as the fellow forum user is not me.

Aha, y'see, I worded it carefully.
My slapping down of idiotic comments, like the one you just made, are relevant.

Azul wrote:
> I laugh at how people'd feel the need as to needlessly and
> irrelevantly insult someone from an internet forum.

How bloody ironic

I laugh at how people'd feel the need as to needlessly and irrelevantly insult someone from an internet forum.

Bell's taking his local Sex Shop to court over the trade descriptions act.

They wouldn't let him buy any sex.

I was going to make more comments but I've went too far.