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"I went to a sex shop"

I went to a sex shop at the weekend with my girlfriend, well actually two. One was Ann Summers and was so s*** it hardly counts: 400 shelves of hen night crap and a few d****s to make them look hardcore. The other one was good though. I thought it'd be really sleazy but it wasn't. It was quite bright and airy - I thought it would be dingy and smell of spunk. And actual women worked there, not just some fat dude who still lives with his ma. Anyway, they sold the usual sort of sex crap blah blah blah.

But the best BEST thing about it was that my girlfriend tried something on and so I got to sit on a couch in the changing rooms and then - praise be to sexy jesus - three real life strippers came in and started trying on outfits for work. That would have been good enough; but not only did they all come out and do little twirls in their skimpy little uniforms but one of them actually kept the curtain of her cubicle half open while she was getting naked. She totally fancied me. Cheap thrills are the greatest thrills. So I felt like a bit of a perv because I was being a bit of a perv but it was the most fun ever.

The moral of the story is: everyone should go to a sex shop.

I'm going to visit your girlfriends house and she'll cry when I say you've been cheating with strippers.

Then we'll sex it up in EK

They have sex in EK?!

Yes but we call it 'Satan's Pole Dance'.

All the villiagers love it. You should come, we'll sacrafice you.

I assume you have witch burnings and stuff too?

Ooh, ooh, and stoning people to death because they're ginger.

Yep, all true.

Now if you excuse me I'm off to bed (with unknown's bird)

Oh yes

SHEEPY wrote:
> I'm going to visit your girlfriends house and she'll cry when I say
> you've been cheating with strippers.

You could do that but she already knows because she was in the changing room with me. Well, she was in her own cubicle but I told her about it later. It's the kind of awesome secret that you can't keep to yourself. I nearly phoned my mum and told her that I'd got a free show but then I thought she might not aprove. Anyway, my girlfriend is my ticket to free nakedness from other girls so ner ner ne ner ner.

> Then we'll sex it up in EK

I've spoilt her for other men. Honestly.

I was going to make more comments but I've went too far.

Bell's taking his local Sex Shop to court over the trade descriptions act.

They wouldn't let him buy any sex.

I laugh at how people'd feel the need as to needlessly and irrelevantly insult someone from an internet forum.