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"Short Poem Competition Returns"

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Wed 11/08/04 at 21:35
Regular
"Incomprehendible"
Posts: 2,938
Hey all. Discodexy asked if someone would start a new one of these competitions, so here goes.

Rules:

-Maximum of, shall we say, 200 words?
-The word to base it around is "pain", you can easily get something out of that.

I'm going on holiday on Sunday but will judge soon after I get back. Shall we say, entries in by 2nd September, and I will judge them and name the top three poems on the 4th September. This gives people plenty of time to get their entries in.

Post your poems in this thread!

Enjoy

RESULTS!

3rd Place goes to Mav for this entry...

Pain.
Makes me feel insane,
It comes and goes
My mind is slain,
Withdrawn, retreated,
A wounded fawn,
Nothing is here for me,
Nothing will help.

It rises up - the pain in me,
Even alone, I feel its grip,
No pressure, no feeling,
Just the horror of it,
I fall, neglected,
A victim, rejected,
My mind is affected
In ways I accept it,
But I can't help but give in,
It overthrows me, commands,
I'm suffocating, holding out my arms,
Grasping for help, but I slip away,
Unnoticed, uncared for, there's no other way,
They don't know about me, neither do you,
I drift through crowds,
Invisible.

Yet my pain remains, I live in vain,
Because I can't.
There's no going forward,
No going back,
To these people I'm a pet,
They call me Jack.


2nd place goes to Grebo, for this entry...

"In mute mental anguish,
We are divided by allegiances,
Our stoppered emotions,
Precipitating smouldering conflagrations,
And explosions of patience,
Whether soul-less happiness,
Or soul-full despair,
Inciting reactions of ineffectuality,
Leading to solitude,
Always looking to reason,
But finding indefatigable naiveté,
Always leading, leading, leading,
Downwards spiralling,
To an ultimate climax,
Rushing, insisting,
and pressing the balance,
Losing our equilibrium,
Leading, leading,
Subconscious observations,
Of intellectual depravations,
And self imposed mental anarchy,
Giving stunning inspirations,
Revelations of reality,
Dawning from obscurity,
Losing, losing,
Humour engulfed,
Mind retreating,
Downwards spiralling,
Self absorbed,
Comatose,
Eventual emotional flat liner."


and the winner is... Azul! For his entry, I've got the Power...

My remorseful soul, a prism of unrest;
Summer rains replenishing and tender
And shadowy clouds ebb and flow with jest;
A ray of gold pierces them with splendour
As light hits my soul and splits into a rainbow.
The valley echoes with my brothers cries
And fields of faith bloom with hope as they grow.
I see my beacon shine through broken skies:

Sapphire birds dance through the eloquent air
And roses sway in the winds of grandeur.
The beauty overwhelms as petals wear,
and hated barbs play a hurtful overture.
The thorns puncture my heart with woeful pain -
I'm smiling; meaningfully going insane

Congratulations Azul, you've won the satisfaction of knowing I thought your poem was better than all the other entries.

Thanks to everyone who entered (especially Mattribute, who put in loads of short, often odd, poems), I just thought these were the best of the lot. Anyone that wants to start the next competition with their own word is free to do so.

Cheers

*HE*
Page:
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:37
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
yes
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:35
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Queen

Isn't she old?
Isn't she frail?
Does she wipe her own backside?
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:33
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Dead Monkey Please

Such a little hairy fella
What a laugh he was
Such love for his teeth
What a wonderful monkey he was

Yeah, he snuffed it last night
Ate a dodgy banana

Such a horrible smell
What did he do wrong
Such a horny little chap
What a shame for the janitor's ear
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:31
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Bumhole Sinatra

Spokes in my eyelids
Tin in my cheese
Any more coffee vicar?
I'll have tea please.
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:31
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
That poem moved, me Sheepy. It moved me very much. I think I will craft a new visual arts dance around your experience, it was so beautiful. I see that you are very concerned with society's dependance on money, would you care to elaborate on that?
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:29
Regular
"America, _ yeah!!"
Posts: 2,214
I apologise and will never venture out of the Sony forum again.

If you say yes that is a promise
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:28
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Dead Money Please

Such a pity
What a great woman she was
Such a shame
What charm she had

Yeah, she's dead
Think she had a few bob in the bank

Such a tragic loss to us
What a waste of kindless
Such a vast wealth
What did she leave me?

This was meant to be a joke gerrid

WHY????
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:27
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Squall

I saw him shuffling along the streets
Empty, lonely, shifty, bare

a poser
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:27
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
Squall, you dirty thief.
Thu 12/08/04 at 22:24
Regular
"Teal'c"
Posts: 3,617
Squall wrote:
> Everyone grumbled.
> The sky was grey.
> We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
> We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
> And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
> Then
> Daddy fell into the pond!
>
> And everyone's face grew merry and bright,
> And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
> "Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
> He's crawling out of the duckweed!" Click!
>
> Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
> And doubled up, shaking silently,
> And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
> And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
> Oh, there wasn't a thing that didn't respond
> When
> Daddy Fell into the pond!

^_^
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