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Report of a burglary in progress came in, everyone went haring off blue lights going. I tootled along at the speed limit, (bloody driving course!) I was told to go to an area nearby, just in case. I went there and upon driving up this road I glanced at a fella mildly fitting the description. I parked my car and went back to have a word. As I got closer I saw a very distinctive thing, which was part of the burglars description.
Me: Can I have a word, mate?
Scumbag: ok.
Me: Can you just stand over here for a second.
*Points*
Me on radio to control room: I have a male stopped on….HE’S MAKING OFF! HE’S MAKING OFF!
*Scumbag starts to run off*
*EB pursues*
I gained on the fool closing the gap from 5 to 2 metres. The guy then tried to go over a wall.
I grabbed him and pulled his down from the wall. I took him down to the floor with a lovely arm lock and then a friendly member of the public came over to assist me. I cuffed him and nicked him. My Sergeant was pleased and I got lots of pats on the back.
I love days like that.
He shat himself while being cuffed
Me: Can I have a word, mate?
Scumbag: ok.
Me: Can you just stand over here for a second.
*Points*
Me on radio to control room: I have a male stopped on….HE’S MAKING OFF! HE’S MAKING OFF!
*Scumbag starts to run off*
*EB pursues*
I gained on the fool closing the gap from 5 to 2 metres. The guy then tried to go over a wall.
I grabbed him and pulled his down from the wall. I took him down to the floor with a lovely arm lock and then a friendly member of the public came over to assist me. I cuffed him and nicked him. My Sergeant was pleased and I got lots of pats on the back.
I love days like that.
He shat himself while being cuffed
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Yeah, and not those kind of 'stabbing' stories, thankyouverymuch.
SHEEPY wrote:
> My hero
>
> you should be careful though, he could have stabbed you or something.
And we cant be having that! We need EBs stories!
> My hero
>
> you should be careful though, he could have stabbed you or something.
And we cant be having that! We need EBs stories!
My hero
you should be careful though, he could have stabbed you or something.
you should be careful though, he could have stabbed you or something.
Colourless wrote:
> E_B, could you recite the ol' "I'm arresting you for.... You do
> not have to say anything" speech for us?
I Definately agree with you on that..
> E_B, could you recite the ol' "I'm arresting you for.... You do
> not have to say anything" speech for us?
I Definately agree with you on that..
Burgulars are easy to spot - they wear black and white stripes, silly.
Well done, pity that when/if he gets to court his defence lawyer will tell the usual sob story involving drugs/abuse/family/low pocket money/didnt get a christmas present etc thus sending the guy into community service at best.
E_B, could you recite the ol' "I'm arresting you for.... You do not have to say anything" speech for us?
Well done, lets hope he gets a proper prosecution...
English_Bloke wrote:
> How can you shat yourself with fake poo?
>
> ...
>
> Actually, don't answer that.
You could have ment he shat himself as in..he was so scared
> How can you shat yourself with fake poo?
>
> ...
>
> Actually, don't answer that.
You could have ment he shat himself as in..he was so scared
I thought burglars were extinct.
Well, from what I've seen they are.
Back when I was a kid, it wasn't so hard to spot them. They'd knock politely on the door, dressed up in the traditional Guild uniform, sack throbbing in anticipation and ask, with much doffing of cap and bowing if one could aid the cause of a poor burglar in a spot of bother with these blasted new-fangled taxes.
You'd always feel obliged to do your best, so left a window open on the specified night (they were always nice about that "Please, sir, leave the window open - I'd hate to get glass on that wonderful carpet of yours. Say? Is that tacked down?") perhaps hire in a dog, or a fancy arangement of bells, whistles and Mr. Mann's Extraordinary Invisible Yarn in the interests of sport.
We'd go through the insurance beforehand - the young criminal setting up a generous policy for me - then mark up the things that would fetch a few pennies at market. He'd warn off the other lads so I didn't get done over twice, and make sure a constable was at less than 3 minutes away (more within 2 of the whistles) to keep himself sharp.
And that was that, off one went for a quick sherry and a round of billiards while the deed was done. Back home for 10, nice set of crumpets toasted over the grill - left by way of a thankyou - and off to bed, grammy's silver halfway to London.
Well, from what I've seen they are.
Back when I was a kid, it wasn't so hard to spot them. They'd knock politely on the door, dressed up in the traditional Guild uniform, sack throbbing in anticipation and ask, with much doffing of cap and bowing if one could aid the cause of a poor burglar in a spot of bother with these blasted new-fangled taxes.
You'd always feel obliged to do your best, so left a window open on the specified night (they were always nice about that "Please, sir, leave the window open - I'd hate to get glass on that wonderful carpet of yours. Say? Is that tacked down?") perhaps hire in a dog, or a fancy arangement of bells, whistles and Mr. Mann's Extraordinary Invisible Yarn in the interests of sport.
We'd go through the insurance beforehand - the young criminal setting up a generous policy for me - then mark up the things that would fetch a few pennies at market. He'd warn off the other lads so I didn't get done over twice, and make sure a constable was at less than 3 minutes away (more within 2 of the whistles) to keep himself sharp.
And that was that, off one went for a quick sherry and a round of billiards while the deed was done. Back home for 10, nice set of crumpets toasted over the grill - left by way of a thankyou - and off to bed, grammy's silver halfway to London.
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