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Rather predictably this has been confirmed as the title for Star Wars Episode 3.. Sounds alot like Return of the Jedi, which was going to be Revenge of the Jedi to start off with, before Lucas decided Revenge was bad and Jedis wouldn't do it. Or something. Anyway, there you go. Still not out for about a year..
I have high hopes it will be better than Episode I/II. It better be.
I have high hopes it will be better than Episode I/II. It better be.
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Light wrote:
> Erm...I like both Phantom Menace and Clones. Sorry. I think their
> biggest crime is that we're not kids any more, and we were when we
> watched the originals. I've heard endless complaints that they just
> "don't have the same magic as the originals". Well, that's
> cos kids believe in magic. Adults don't (unless they're goths, or
> play D&D a little too much, or think they're Aleister
> Crowley).
I was still a kid when the Phantom Menace came out.
It was crap.
Don't defend it.
It sucked.
Episode 2 was better.
But still crap.
> Erm...I like both Phantom Menace and Clones. Sorry. I think their
> biggest crime is that we're not kids any more, and we were when we
> watched the originals. I've heard endless complaints that they just
> "don't have the same magic as the originals". Well, that's
> cos kids believe in magic. Adults don't (unless they're goths, or
> play D&D a little too much, or think they're Aleister
> Crowley).
I was still a kid when the Phantom Menace came out.
It was crap.
Don't defend it.
It sucked.
Episode 2 was better.
But still crap.
Since Jar Jar Binks isn't in episodes IV - VI that must mean Vader kills him.
Or something, in this one.
Hurrah.
Or something, in this one.
Hurrah.
Jedi space battles > Everything except the charge of Rohan.
Mr Snuggly wrote:
> I used to think along a similar line, that it was only because
> everyone had grown up and grown out of fantasy films that they went
> off the new Star Wars flicks (it's like sitting down to watch an
> episode of a TV program you loved as a kid, only to find out it was
> actually crap).
-------------
Exactly.
And like Snuggly, and countless others, after trying to justify the ineffable crapness of Phantom & Clones with "Well I'm not under 10", I realised that they did, in fact, suck.
I'm not saying nobody can like them, just simply that they lacked everything that made Star Wars so enjoyable.
As a kid I wanted to be Luke Skywalker, yearning to go off on adventures instead of being at home doing chores. I wanted droids and a mate like Han Solo, I wanted Chewbacca to come round and play. I hated and feared Darth Vader, The Death Star gave me nightmares, X-Wings were recreated with Choppers and imagination. It had everything to keep a kid happy.
But as an adult, I enjoyed Solo's cynicism and knowing irony. The plot wasn't simplistic and cutesy, it had issues about father figures, limb amputation, the nature of friendship between Skywalker and Solo, the romance between Solo & Leia that was believable (instead of "You're just a kid Annie, don't be weird" "I killed those sandpeople, all of them! Mwahahahaha" "Touch my space boobs psycho")
Phantom had none of that. It had a plot about trade blockades (Hardly searching for adventure with smugglers). There was no cynicism for adults to enjoy, cringing dialogue and, as Snuggly put it, a big gay space-haddock for slapstick japes.
Clones was marginally better but still made no sense or contained any excitement.
Jango Fett, Darth Maul 2. A wasted villain that was rubbish, for example when he pays that lizard woman to kill Mathilda.
"Here Bounty Hunter, kill that girl. I know I'm a bounty hunter too, but ignore that and just run to the next CGI scene".
Awful, awful films.
And what really angers me is that I'll go watch "Revenge of The Sith" at the cinema and buy the DVD, never watching it again.
And I've said it before but I'll say it again - Lucas is talking from his podgy neck if he thinks he came up with these stories originally but decided to make "A New Hope" first.
Because if you watch it in order, starting with Phantom Menace, it robs the last 3 films of any excitement - think about it.
Star Wars: A New Hope
Luke meets Obi-Wan in the desert who saves him from sandpeople and tells him about his father leaving the lightsaber.
Audience "Yeah we know already, we saw this in the 1st film when his dad was a moppet"
Luke sees Leia and goes on a mission to rescue her.
Audience "That's your sister Luke, don't you remember?"
Luke "She's beautiful"
Audience "Ewwww, that's your sister dude"
Ben Kenobi killed by Darth Vader and Luke screaming "nooooo!", audience thinks he's dead
"Ah, just like with Schindler-Gin"
Empire:
The huge, jaw-dropping twist of "Luke, I am your father"
Collective audiences intake of breath "Nooooooo!!!!!!"
However, in chronological order?
"Yeah we know this already, we know Darth Vader used to be an annoying kid and whiny teen"
It's crap, and if you watch in order from Phantom right through to Jedi then you've got no surprises or drama after the 3rd movie.
> I used to think along a similar line, that it was only because
> everyone had grown up and grown out of fantasy films that they went
> off the new Star Wars flicks (it's like sitting down to watch an
> episode of a TV program you loved as a kid, only to find out it was
> actually crap).
-------------
Exactly.
And like Snuggly, and countless others, after trying to justify the ineffable crapness of Phantom & Clones with "Well I'm not under 10", I realised that they did, in fact, suck.
I'm not saying nobody can like them, just simply that they lacked everything that made Star Wars so enjoyable.
As a kid I wanted to be Luke Skywalker, yearning to go off on adventures instead of being at home doing chores. I wanted droids and a mate like Han Solo, I wanted Chewbacca to come round and play. I hated and feared Darth Vader, The Death Star gave me nightmares, X-Wings were recreated with Choppers and imagination. It had everything to keep a kid happy.
But as an adult, I enjoyed Solo's cynicism and knowing irony. The plot wasn't simplistic and cutesy, it had issues about father figures, limb amputation, the nature of friendship between Skywalker and Solo, the romance between Solo & Leia that was believable (instead of "You're just a kid Annie, don't be weird" "I killed those sandpeople, all of them! Mwahahahaha" "Touch my space boobs psycho")
Phantom had none of that. It had a plot about trade blockades (Hardly searching for adventure with smugglers). There was no cynicism for adults to enjoy, cringing dialogue and, as Snuggly put it, a big gay space-haddock for slapstick japes.
Clones was marginally better but still made no sense or contained any excitement.
Jango Fett, Darth Maul 2. A wasted villain that was rubbish, for example when he pays that lizard woman to kill Mathilda.
"Here Bounty Hunter, kill that girl. I know I'm a bounty hunter too, but ignore that and just run to the next CGI scene".
Awful, awful films.
And what really angers me is that I'll go watch "Revenge of The Sith" at the cinema and buy the DVD, never watching it again.
And I've said it before but I'll say it again - Lucas is talking from his podgy neck if he thinks he came up with these stories originally but decided to make "A New Hope" first.
Because if you watch it in order, starting with Phantom Menace, it robs the last 3 films of any excitement - think about it.
Star Wars: A New Hope
Luke meets Obi-Wan in the desert who saves him from sandpeople and tells him about his father leaving the lightsaber.
Audience "Yeah we know already, we saw this in the 1st film when his dad was a moppet"
Luke sees Leia and goes on a mission to rescue her.
Audience "That's your sister Luke, don't you remember?"
Luke "She's beautiful"
Audience "Ewwww, that's your sister dude"
Ben Kenobi killed by Darth Vader and Luke screaming "nooooo!", audience thinks he's dead
"Ah, just like with Schindler-Gin"
Empire:
The huge, jaw-dropping twist of "Luke, I am your father"
Collective audiences intake of breath "Nooooooo!!!!!!"
However, in chronological order?
"Yeah we know this already, we know Darth Vader used to be an annoying kid and whiny teen"
It's crap, and if you watch in order from Phantom right through to Jedi then you've got no surprises or drama after the 3rd movie.
I see.
"And Irvin Kershner directed a Bond movie and then kind of disappeared."
He also did Robocop 2. So his luck with sequels is good and bad.
He also did Robocop 2. So his luck with sequels is good and bad.
Keira Knightley is one of her assistants. She gets about 10 seconds of screen time (and is unrecognisable, and also about 14).
Wasn't that Natalie Portman?
Light wrote:
> Erm...I like both Phantom Menace and Clones. Sorry. I think their
> biggest crime is that we're not kids any more, and we were when we
> watched the originals. I've heard endless complaints that they just
> "don't have the same magic as the originals". Well, that's
> cos kids believe in magic. Adults don't (unless they're goths, or
> play D&D a little too much, or think they're Aleister
> Crowley).
I used to think along a similar line, that it was only because everyone had grown up and grown out of fantasy films that they went off the new Star Wars flicks (it's like sitting down to watch an episode of a TV program you loved as a kid, only to find out it was actually crap).
But then I realised I was only about 15-16 when I saw the originals, and I still prefer them to the new ones. That, and even though I own both Episodes I & II on DVD, I've never watched them more than once, and have no desire to do so.
Episode II was better than one, granted, but it still rankled with me (all that guff about Trade Federations, treaties and intergalactic politics - ooh, exciting!). Episode I was shockingly poor. The afore-mentioned Midichlorians, taking a big dump on the nature of the force - wow, so it can be explained by science after all! All that stuff about Taoism was apparently just a shot in the dark!
See also:
Ethnic stereotyping Richard Littlejohn would cringe at
Liam Neeson being the most boring Jedi ever
Darth Maul being the 'new Darth Vader' despite having about 120 seconds of screen time, and losing every fight he had
The most annoying child actor ever
The most annoying CGI creation of all time
It did have Brian Blessed though, I'll give it that. And a jailbait Keira Knightly (somewhere under that makeup).
Edit: Oh, and like Goaty said, not a single character that anyone over the age of 14 can identify with. Obi Wan - he's sensible and conserved! Anakin, ooh, he's headstrong yet foolish! Padme - wow, what an exciting young go-getter she is! Where's Solo shooting Greedo and being a badass? Where's the comraderie like that between Solo and Chewie in the new ones? All we had was gay Rasta haddock Jar-Jar and Macauley Culkin in space.
> Erm...I like both Phantom Menace and Clones. Sorry. I think their
> biggest crime is that we're not kids any more, and we were when we
> watched the originals. I've heard endless complaints that they just
> "don't have the same magic as the originals". Well, that's
> cos kids believe in magic. Adults don't (unless they're goths, or
> play D&D a little too much, or think they're Aleister
> Crowley).
I used to think along a similar line, that it was only because everyone had grown up and grown out of fantasy films that they went off the new Star Wars flicks (it's like sitting down to watch an episode of a TV program you loved as a kid, only to find out it was actually crap).
But then I realised I was only about 15-16 when I saw the originals, and I still prefer them to the new ones. That, and even though I own both Episodes I & II on DVD, I've never watched them more than once, and have no desire to do so.
Episode II was better than one, granted, but it still rankled with me (all that guff about Trade Federations, treaties and intergalactic politics - ooh, exciting!). Episode I was shockingly poor. The afore-mentioned Midichlorians, taking a big dump on the nature of the force - wow, so it can be explained by science after all! All that stuff about Taoism was apparently just a shot in the dark!
See also:
Ethnic stereotyping Richard Littlejohn would cringe at
Liam Neeson being the most boring Jedi ever
Darth Maul being the 'new Darth Vader' despite having about 120 seconds of screen time, and losing every fight he had
The most annoying child actor ever
The most annoying CGI creation of all time
It did have Brian Blessed though, I'll give it that. And a jailbait Keira Knightly (somewhere under that makeup).
Edit: Oh, and like Goaty said, not a single character that anyone over the age of 14 can identify with. Obi Wan - he's sensible and conserved! Anakin, ooh, he's headstrong yet foolish! Padme - wow, what an exciting young go-getter she is! Where's Solo shooting Greedo and being a badass? Where's the comraderie like that between Solo and Chewie in the new ones? All we had was gay Rasta haddock Jar-Jar and Macauley Culkin in space.
Light wrote:
> On a side note, when last in Forbidden Planet, Mrs Light noticed the
> replica lightsabers in their display cases and asked;
> "So are they real lightsbabers?"
------------
You should have stopped in your tracks and given her a steely-eyed glare.
"What? What did I say?" she will plead
"I will punish you by slapping your face with my wang" shall be your reply
And they all lived happily ever after
> On a side note, when last in Forbidden Planet, Mrs Light noticed the
> replica lightsabers in their display cases and asked;
> "So are they real lightsbabers?"
------------
You should have stopped in your tracks and given her a steely-eyed glare.
"What? What did I say?" she will plead
"I will punish you by slapping your face with my wang" shall be your reply
And they all lived happily ever after
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