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"Why?"

I sit here and think about what could have been; always thinking what could have happened if I didn’t do that. Why is it I can’t appreciate what I have, how I always want more then what I have?
Is it greed I ask myself, or is it just wanting to better my self. I can’t decide.

I want every thing in my life to be perfect, I want the perfect family the perfect job, and I want happiness. What is perfect though?
Can anyone say they have the perfect life?
I always say to my self life is not perfect and nobody is perfect. Yet I always question it.

If I am unaware about what perfect is how do I know what I have isn’t?

Then there is me this individual that sits and puts herself down all the time. I always go on about how the way people look doesn’t bother me. Everybody is different and I don’t judge any one about there appearance. Yet I constantly judge myself, put my self down. Hate the way I look.
The question is why?
I am who I am; it might not be perfect not your ideal cuppa tea. But it’s me.

There are so many questions I ask my self, never enough answers, I constantly go through things in my head. Trying to work things out and why things happen and why we think the way we do.

Why is it I always question everything I do, always unsure about things?

Something’s are just best left unanswered I guess.

just thought id share that with you

Thanks for your replys, some very good things has been written. I'll read through them again before i reply further.

Ah, this post feels familiar :^)

@ng3l wrote:
> Then there is me this individual that sits and puts herself down all
> the time. I always go on about how the way people look doesn’t bother
> me. Everybody is different and I don’t judge any one about there
> appearance. Yet I constantly judge myself, put my self down. Hate the
> way I look.
> The question is why?

I don't know, but it might be because society generally really does judge everyone on their appearance, so even if you don't do it yourself, you're aware that other people do. Which causes you to worry about it
(I use the term 'you' generically, and it includes me, who also does this :^) )

Or could it be that rather than not judging people on their appearance at all, you've simply surpressed it so that you judge people much *less* on their appearance than most do ?
(Not meant to question your integrity - nobody's perfect and it's a natural instinct, which society and the media generally reinforces, to judge people on appearance - that must be (at least) close to impossible to surpress completely.

If so, it could be that you simply judge yourself much more harshly than you do other people.

I remember a time when I was regretting some of the mistakes I'd made in my past, then I realised 'hey, pretty much everyone I know has made the same mistakes, and to be honest, usually to a worse extent than I did'.
Then I lightened up on myself a little.

Or maybe its just that you don't expect other people to be perfect, but you do expect it from yourself.
Similar to the above possibility, but I think slightly distinct.



> I want every thing in my life to be perfect, I want the perfect
> family the perfect job, and I want happiness. What is perfect though?
>
> Can anyone say they have the perfect life?
> I always say to my self life is not perfect and nobody is perfect.
> Yet I always question it.


Heh. Been there too. I've been thinking careers, and rejecting virtually every possibility that comes along.
I think I have to learn to accept less than perfect too.

I suppose it's about replacing the search for perfection with the search for 'acceptably good'.
I think if you can accept that you'll never achieve perfection (and forgive yourself for that!), replacing perfection is relatively easy to do.
Then the hard part s setting your new goals...

Asking questions is surely better than not asking questions. All you have to do is be sure that you ask the right ones.

From the start of your post it sounds like a lot of the questions you are asking are "what if I had.." or "what if I hadn't..". Stop looking back and ask questions about the future. "what if I did.." etc and if you like the answer you come to try it out and see where you end up. I've always thought that it's better to do something and regret it than not do something and regret not doing it, however it's easier to think that way than it is to act that way.

Perfection is something that probably isn't attainable, and it'll always be human nature to want more. To become desensitized to perfection and yearn more when there is no more. Besides, perfection sounds pretty boring to me. You know they can make perfect fake diamonds for jewellery, but the difference between fake diamonds and real ones are the imperfections that make them shine and sparkle in the light.

One thing that I have learnt over the years is that nearly everyone is over critical of themselves, or sees themselves in a bad way. I know I am. Once you realise that you're half way there to relaxing. The second thing that you really need to realise is that how people who know you percieve you has far far more to do with your personality than anything else. I've known people I thought attractive but then once I found they weren't nice people gone I can't imagine ever being attracted to them> The same is true the other way around.

One good thing I'm reading between the lines in your post is that you seem to be suffering from what some people call "ugly duckling syndrome". As one of my aquaintences put it it's when "a girl isn't so hot when they're growing up, and then they get hot but don't realise it so they stay a nice person". It's a rare occurence, but all of my favourite female friends suffer from it on some level.

Enough rambling. I really should do some work.

Life'll become perfect when you stop looking for perfection! :-)

As long as you're not dead, you're doing the whole life thing pretty well if you ask me. Anything else is just a bonus.

Ask yourself:- How many other perfect people do you know?

I'll guess non.

Perfection is in fact fictional used only to describe fictional or poetic devices. Nothing and nobody is perfect, every thing and everyone has their flaws and foibles, and it seems like your self-critical nature is your little flaw.

It's human nature to be greedy, consciously or not, and we will always strive for greener pastures. Don't hate yourself for that, its human nature.

I sit here and think about what could have been; always thinking what could have happened if I didn’t do that. Why is it I can’t appreciate what I have, how I always want more then what I have?
Is it greed I ask myself, or is it just wanting to better my self. I can’t decide.

I want every thing in my life to be perfect, I want the perfect family the perfect job, and I want happiness. What is perfect though?
Can anyone say they have the perfect life?
I always say to my self life is not perfect and nobody is perfect. Yet I always question it.

If I am unaware about what perfect is how do I know what I have isn’t?

Then there is me this individual that sits and puts herself down all the time. I always go on about how the way people look doesn’t bother me. Everybody is different and I don’t judge any one about there appearance. Yet I constantly judge myself, put my self down. Hate the way I look.
The question is why?
I am who I am; it might not be perfect not your ideal cuppa tea. But it’s me.

There are so many questions I ask my self, never enough answers, I constantly go through things in my head. Trying to work things out and why things happen and why we think the way we do.

Why is it I always question everything I do, always unsure about things?

Something’s are just best left unanswered I guess.

just thought id share that with you