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"Why?"

I sit here and think about what could have been; always thinking what could have happened if I didn’t do that. Why is it I can’t appreciate what I have, how I always want more then what I have?
Is it greed I ask myself, or is it just wanting to better my self. I can’t decide.

I want every thing in my life to be perfect, I want the perfect family the perfect job, and I want happiness. What is perfect though?
Can anyone say they have the perfect life?
I always say to my self life is not perfect and nobody is perfect. Yet I always question it.

If I am unaware about what perfect is how do I know what I have isn’t?

Then there is me this individual that sits and puts herself down all the time. I always go on about how the way people look doesn’t bother me. Everybody is different and I don’t judge any one about there appearance. Yet I constantly judge myself, put my self down. Hate the way I look.
The question is why?
I am who I am; it might not be perfect not your ideal cuppa tea. But it’s me.

There are so many questions I ask my self, never enough answers, I constantly go through things in my head. Trying to work things out and why things happen and why we think the way we do.

Why is it I always question everything I do, always unsure about things?

Something’s are just best left unanswered I guess.

just thought id share that with you

Human existence is in striving for something better.

Think. If you had everything you wanted, what would be the point of continuing? What goals could you set?

Life, my friend, is an adventure.

Cheers FFF,

I know that no one on here can make me decide things for me and encourage me in any decisions that I have to make in any aspect of my life. I have to do things my own way. Whatever they maybe.

To do this post and to have these replies, just helps me to focus on things and makes my own head that little bit clearer. It helps me look at things from a different angle. What’s written may help and then again maybe not. Either way your all fantastic and took the time out to post a reply. Also putting effort in to it to.

I hope things work out for me, I have been through so much in my life, I need to put things behind me, I need to sort things out with different people. Get things straight in my head. Just generally start moving on with different things. Well before it all becomes to much for me to cope with.

Especially for my son’s sake. He does need a good start in life and I cant give him that if I don’t sort things out in my head and in my heart.

I think this is a problem most people come across once or twice in their lives. They get to a stage where they're quite comfortable to stay as they are, even though things aren't perfect.
Most people stay put, some try to improve and succeed, some fail.

I'm a big believer in going for things 100% - if you're not happy do something about it.

But then I'm young and have nothing to loose in going all-out to achieve what I want. I suppose it's a lot harder when you're a bit older and have not only yourself to consider, but your son who's relying on you to give him a good start in life.

To be honest, I think this is something you're going to have to decide to do for yourself. No amount of encouragement or persuasion on here will make you do anything.
It might make your mind up as to what would be best to do, but to actually do it is a much bigger step.

Not knowing the specifics, I can't really say 'do this' or 'do that'
All I can say is to take a step back - right back, emotionally detached - and ask yourself some big questions:

What do I really want?
What's the worst that can happen - within reason, not 'my house could collapse and the bank blow up'?
What's the best that can happen?
Can I succeed?

Whatever you want to do, there's always some 'safety steps' you can take before hand to either make sure you will achieve it, or reduce any problems if you don't. Take the little steps.

Always think of the posotives - and stop confusing yourself with questions that don't really matter.
I hope you can sort things out.

What i have is all i have, im not as happy as i would like to be, but if i changed things it could leave me worse off. Its a matter of making the right desicion. What i think maybe right may not work out.

Like i said i am scared of getting things wrong, which is why i try to live with what i have at the minute and make do with it.

But will you actually lose anything if you strive for more and fail?
Or just come back down again to the same place?

And if things aren't making you happy, why are you scared of losing them?

Flock wrote:
> Are you happy ?
ish

> Are you happy enough ?
No

> Do you feel you can be happier ?
Yes

> Are you willing to gamble what you have ?
I dont think i want to loose what i have

Are you happy ?
Are you happy enough ?
Do you feel you can be happier ?
Are you willing to gamble what you have ?

Try to answer them yes or no and then you go from there.

EDIT: Didn't see your post below, i'll go through them with you tommorow.

La Flock

Am I happy?

In some ways I am in some ways no.
There are things in my life that are going well, but a lot of things get me down too. Family, relationships, friends etc… the usual.


My son makes me happy though which is brilliant, he is my life.

Things that get me down are improving as we have talked about. Then there is the person that I think a lot of that I think about a lot. Either way I am supposed to be happy. My relationship is going well which is a big change.

I guess like I said there is always something more I want. Does not mean I am ever going to get it.

I’ll talk to you tomorrow about it though if im online and if you are.

Cheers

I see that nobody and nothing is perfect. However like I say I have a habit of always questioning myself on different aspects of my life, Perfection being one of them. I guess everyone always wants that little bit more in life. I am one to say I am grateful for what I have then later I’ll be like. Well if I had that etc… No matter how much I say nothings perfect, I always think some how it can be. I guess I have a lot to learn.

Well no I am not dead so my life is going pretty well, and yes everything else should be a bonus. This is why if I spend the rest of my life questioning things I won’t get any further in life. This will bring me to what someone else has mentioned in a bit.

I think you are right in what you said, well in away. If I stop looking for perfection life will become perfect. Maybe not perfection, but it might improve.

I question everything I do, I just got into the habit of doing it for some reason. If I questioned things less and just did thing, and let things happen I’d get a lot more done and probably enjoy things more. I think I question things I do to try and get things right and make the best decisions. Looking for perfection rather then taking things as they are. I think if everything did end up “Perfect”, id only question that too. And I would wonder why it is so perfect!
Appearance is something I have never really bothered about, only the way I look. In my eyes im not all that to look at. Many people tell me different and I can’t see what they see. I hate to look in the mirror and I am always been judged my others, I see people get judged by others. Especially if comments are bad. I think that is why I don’t comment on looks. I comment badly on myself and put myself down to save me getting hurt by others first. Although since my teens I haven’t had much bad stuff said about me. I always think it won’t belong till someone says anything again. Ok so it hurts me when they say bad things, as would it anyone else. So I tend to do it all my self.
Maybe deep down I won’t think someone is attractive or not attractive, but I tend to not let that judge the way they are. As long as they have an outstanding personality and can have a laugh and a joke. It doesn’t bother me. Someone I can get along with means more to me then, do don’t speak to me just look at you.

I guess I have to stop looking for perfection, I can only do the best I can. Spend a little less time questioning things and getting on with just enjoying what comes up. Set myself goals to achieve, rather then look back and what I have done and wonder why I did not do it some other way etc…

I think I have just got into the habit of questioning things in fear of messing up. Which I have anyway in the past so its not working is it.

@ng3l wrote:
> I sit here and think about what could have been; always thinking what
> could have happened if I didn’t do that. Why is it I can’t appreciate
> what I have, how I always want more then what I have?
> Is it greed I ask myself, or is it just wanting to better my self. I
> can’t decide.

Grass is greener syndrome, it's natural to always want better for ourselves, you need to ask yourself is " Is what i have enough for me ",
" am i happy " and " Can i be happier "
Some people give up the content life they have and gamble thinking they will find something better, and some win the bet and some don't, it's all about whether you're willing to gamble, but for you one thing remains, you always have Tommy.


> I want every thing in my life to be perfect, I want the perfect
> family the perfect job, and I want happiness. What is perfect though?
> Can anyone say they have the perfect life?
> I always say to my self life is not perfect and nobody is perfect.
> Yet I always question it.
> If I am unaware about what perfect is how do I know what I have
> isn’t?

No-one, not one person has had a perfect life, and is suspect you wouldn't want it if you had it, the idea that things couldn't get any better and there is nothing left for me to do would drive me into a huge depression, we always need something to aim for.
As for have you got enough, only you know the answer to that, it's not something that is always a definite answer though, it changes with time just like people do, what is enough for you now may not be enough in a months time, do you feel that what you have now is enough for you, would you be happy to live the rest of your life as you are now?


> Then there is me this individual that sits and puts herself down all
> the time. I always go on about how the way people look doesn’t bother
> me. Everybody is different and I don’t judge any one about there
> appearance. Yet I constantly judge myself, put my self down. Hate the
> way I look.
> The question is why?
> I am who I am; it might not be perfect not your ideal cuppa tea. But
> it’s me.

You try to stress the unimportance of looks because you don't want to judge people on something you don't want to be jugded on, you try to take it out of the equation.
Sort of like, i won't judge you on looks so you won't judge me, does that make sense ?


> There are so many questions I ask my self, never enough answers, I
> constantly go through things in my head. Trying to work things out
> and why things happen and why we think the way we do.
> Why is it I always question everything I do, always unsure about
> things?

Something has taken your confidence and you need to find it, i wish you could have the faith in yourself that others have in you.


> Something’s are just best left unanswered I guess.

That depends on whether you are happy.

> just thought id share that with you

You can talk to me anytime you want, i will give you my full attention.