The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Anyone here knows any great jokes?
>
>The European Commission has just announced an
>agreement whereby English will be the official
>language of the European Union rather than German,
>which was the other possibility. As part of the
>negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
>English spelling had some room for improvement and has
>accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
>known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will
>replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil
>servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped
>in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
>keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be
>growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
>troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
>make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd
>year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
>expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
>changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the
>removal of double letters which have always ben a
>deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
>the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
>disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl
>wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
>"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary
>"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after
>ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
>Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
>find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united
>urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas
>pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze vorld!!!
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f**king
bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf, we haven't got any f**king bread,
ask me again and I'll nail your f**king beak to the bar you
irritating bast**d of a f**king bird!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?
field
> > with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and
> > give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty
> > years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live
for
> > sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
> >
> > And God agreed.
> >
> > On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the
door
> > of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give
> > you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be
> > barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
> >
> > So God agreed (sigh).
> >
> > On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do
> > monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
> > The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't
> > think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
> >
> > And God agreed again.
> >
> > On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have
sex,
> > enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
> > Man said, "What? Only twenty years! No way, man. Tell you what, I'll
take
> my
> > twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back
and
> > the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"
> >
> > "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
> >
> > So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex,
> > enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to
> > support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to
> > entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the
> > front porch and bark at everyone.
> >
> > Life has now been explained.