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I took the train to Lincoln today. Got on and sat down leaving seats between myself and other passages and to my annoyance these two townies, a lad and his bird sat in the seat directly behing me. Anyway, the story follows:
Him: 2 minutes late, fu*kin train
Her: I p*ssin know. Why the f*f**k do people keep starin at me. It pishes me off!!!
Him: It's cos you got a good body
Her: Thats no f*f**kin excuse
Her: 2 child returns to Lincoln please (They obviously look about 18/19)
Train bloke: Have you got any ID please?
Him: ID, Why the f*f**k do we need ID
Train bloke: If you don't have ID you'll have to pay full
Her: F*f**kin fine then
Him: How much was it?
Her: £4.40 each
Him: 4 pound b*stard f*f**kin 40, to go to f*f**kin Lincoln and baf**k
Her: It's f*f**kin sh*te init
Him: Pishin rip-off!
Her: Why the f*f**k is everyone staring at me
Him: It's cos you have a nice f***y
Her: Er thats just f*f**kin disgusting
Him: 4 pound b*stard f*f**kin 40, I can't f*f**kin beleive it
Her: F*f**kin shut up moanin
Her: Turn that f*f**kin off
Him: No, I can do what I bl00dy want
Her: You're a f*f**kin embaresment!
Him: So, we're nearly at f*f**kin Lincoln anyway
Her: No were p*ssin not
Him: Yes, we p*ssin are
Her to me: Excuse me, are we in Lincoln?
Me: No, just goin past Burton Waters
Her: I f*f**kin told you
Her: Will you f*f**kin turn that off already
Her to me: Is he annoyin you?
Me: Yes
Her to him: You're a f*f**kin embarresment
Him: 4 pound b*stard f*f**kin 40
Her: You still moanin about that
Him: About bloody b*sterd time. F*ks sake.
Her: Too right, lets get off this sh*thole
--------------------
That must have been the most annoying, yet funniest train ride I've ever been on.
Him: 2 minutes late, fu*kin train
Her: I p*ssin know. Why the f*f**k do people keep starin at me. It pishes me off!!!
Him: It's cos you got a good body
Her: Thats no f*f**kin excuse
Her: 2 child returns to Lincoln please (They obviously look about 18/19)
Train bloke: Have you got any ID please?
Him: ID, Why the f*f**k do we need ID
Train bloke: If you don't have ID you'll have to pay full
Her: F*f**kin fine then
Him: How much was it?
Her: £4.40 each
Him: 4 pound b*stard f*f**kin 40, to go to f*f**kin Lincoln and baf**k
Her: It's f*f**kin sh*te init
Him: Pishin rip-off!
Her: Why the f*f**k is everyone staring at me
Him: It's cos you have a nice f***y
Her: Er thats just f*f**kin disgusting
Him: 4 pound b*stard f*f**kin 40, I can't f*f**kin beleive it
Her: F*f**kin shut up moanin
Her: Turn that f*f**kin off
Him: No, I can do what I bl00dy want
Her: You're a f*f**kin embaresment!
Him: So, we're nearly at f*f**kin Lincoln anyway
Her: No were p*ssin not
Him: Yes, we p*ssin are
Her to me: Excuse me, are we in Lincoln?
Me: No, just goin past Burton Waters
Her: I f*f**kin told you
Her: Will you f*f**kin turn that off already
Her to me: Is he annoyin you?
Me: Yes
Her to him: You're a f*f**kin embarresment
Him: 4 pound b*stard f*f**kin 40
Her: You still moanin about that
Him: About bloody b*sterd time. F*ks sake.
Her: Too right, lets get off this sh*thole
--------------------
That must have been the most annoying, yet funniest train ride I've ever been on.
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Paradox: wrote:
> Sounds like fun.
>
> Incidentally do you live in/near Lincoln?
>
> I'm going there soon to check out the university and wondered what
> the town in like.
I live about 20 miles away however I go there a lot as I'm at Lincoln College and will be there again next year doing my HND. First things first, it's quite a small city, however saying that it has most of what you need. The nightlife isn't too great compared to bigger cities but again it's not the worst either. It has a new odeon cinema setting you back £4.90 for a student, a couple of bowling alleys (One opened just recently), a crap football team you can go laugh at. Theres also paintballing and stuff quite close by.
If you're after a flat, theres some new ones that have just been built opposite Debenhams that look very smart, although they are around £60 a week.
> Sounds like fun.
>
> Incidentally do you live in/near Lincoln?
>
> I'm going there soon to check out the university and wondered what
> the town in like.
I live about 20 miles away however I go there a lot as I'm at Lincoln College and will be there again next year doing my HND. First things first, it's quite a small city, however saying that it has most of what you need. The nightlife isn't too great compared to bigger cities but again it's not the worst either. It has a new odeon cinema setting you back £4.90 for a student, a couple of bowling alleys (One opened just recently), a crap football team you can go laugh at. Theres also paintballing and stuff quite close by.
If you're after a flat, theres some new ones that have just been built opposite Debenhams that look very smart, although they are around £60 a week.
Maybe she just dropped her popcorn in his lap, and was picking it up...repeatedly...with her mouth...
monkey_man wrote:
> It's quite
> refreshing to hear loud, boisterous opinions, when the rest of the
> dunces are captivated by Shrek 2. Man, that film was crap.
I only saw the last half of the film (Dont have to pay if you sneak in) and thought it was rather good. Raised a few laughs anyway, though I know what you mean about being captivated by it. My mate sat next to me saying "Woah the graphics are good, doesnt it look real eh? Kyle, doesnt it look real, eh, arent the graphics good, WOAH look kyle, its really well animated, I bet it took ages, KYLE LOOK!"
>
> Funniest was when a group of townies right at the front got kicked
> out, and the whole cinema slow-clapped as they had to walk the length
> of the auditorium to the exit. Oh, and someone shouted
> "c*ck" when Boromir died in LOTR, that was also funny
> because it was a really wussy moment in a film with Orks, wizards and
> swords.
My friends and I tend to do that at the dramatic climax of a movie, like when someone important dies we will laugh or shout "b*gger". I've never walked out of a movie before, mostly because I want to get my £4 worth. Oh and one time I saw a woman giving her boyfriend (I assume) head, two rows in front of us. No shame, some people....
> It's quite
> refreshing to hear loud, boisterous opinions, when the rest of the
> dunces are captivated by Shrek 2. Man, that film was crap.
I only saw the last half of the film (Dont have to pay if you sneak in) and thought it was rather good. Raised a few laughs anyway, though I know what you mean about being captivated by it. My mate sat next to me saying "Woah the graphics are good, doesnt it look real eh? Kyle, doesnt it look real, eh, arent the graphics good, WOAH look kyle, its really well animated, I bet it took ages, KYLE LOOK!"
>
> Funniest was when a group of townies right at the front got kicked
> out, and the whole cinema slow-clapped as they had to walk the length
> of the auditorium to the exit. Oh, and someone shouted
> "c*ck" when Boromir died in LOTR, that was also funny
> because it was a really wussy moment in a film with Orks, wizards and
> swords.
My friends and I tend to do that at the dramatic climax of a movie, like when someone important dies we will laugh or shout "b*gger". I've never walked out of a movie before, mostly because I want to get my £4 worth. Oh and one time I saw a woman giving her boyfriend (I assume) head, two rows in front of us. No shame, some people....
Sounds like fun.
Incidentally do you live in/near Lincoln?
I'm going there soon to check out the university and wondered what the town in like.
Incidentally do you live in/near Lincoln?
I'm going there soon to check out the university and wondered what the town in like.
ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ wrote:
> don't wan't to come accross as rude and commen.
He wears a top hat and a cape I'll have you know.
Oddest thing was this lass giving a bl!wjob on the tube. Was nasty!
> don't wan't to come accross as rude and commen.
He wears a top hat and a cape I'll have you know.
Oddest thing was this lass giving a bl!wjob on the tube. Was nasty!
Me and Vex had a good laugh, about a year back, at a couple of kids using 'Buffy speak' on the way back from the local metal venue.
"and it was like, so like, cool and like wow what an amazing time, it was just SO like amazing!"
"and it was like, so like, cool and like wow what an amazing time, it was just SO like amazing!"
monkey_man wrote:
> dunces are captivated by Shrek 2. Man, that film was crap.
crap.. you must be joking, that was a top class film. I would watch that hundred times it will still make me laugh. It's by far better than its predecessor and a little bit better than finding nemo. It could be that it only apeal to people who has sense of humour.
Watch it again.
> dunces are captivated by Shrek 2. Man, that film was crap.
crap.. you must be joking, that was a top class film. I would watch that hundred times it will still make me laugh. It's by far better than its predecessor and a little bit better than finding nemo. It could be that it only apeal to people who has sense of humour.
Watch it again.
Sometimes I like getting the Chavvy types in cinemas. If there's a really bad film on, and everyone knows it, they're the only people in there with the common decency to let everyone know. It's quite refreshing to hear loud, boisterous opinions, when the rest of the dunces are captivated by Shrek 2. Man, that film was crap.
Funniest was when a group of townies right at the front got kicked out, and the whole cinema slow-clapped as they had to walk the length of the auditorium to the exit. Oh, and someone shouted "c*ck" when Boromir died in LOTR, that was also funny because it was a really wussy moment in a film with Orks, wizards and swords.
On a train though, I've had surprisingly few encounters with children of the townie persuassion, which is odd as I regularly go through Harlow, Bishops Stortford and Stansted Mountfitchet. Funniest was the ageing cyber-punks on the way back from Bournemouth. They were about 50, drunk and looked like extras from Akira. And the dirty pikeys sat next to us.
Funniest was when a group of townies right at the front got kicked out, and the whole cinema slow-clapped as they had to walk the length of the auditorium to the exit. Oh, and someone shouted "c*ck" when Boromir died in LOTR, that was also funny because it was a really wussy moment in a film with Orks, wizards and swords.
On a train though, I've had surprisingly few encounters with children of the townie persuassion, which is odd as I regularly go through Harlow, Bishops Stortford and Stansted Mountfitchet. Funniest was the ageing cyber-punks on the way back from Bournemouth. They were about 50, drunk and looked like extras from Akira. And the dirty pikeys sat next to us.
zxv wrote:
> Chad Niga wrote:
> I hate townies. If i had one wish, i wouldnt wish to be rich, or
> famous, or what not. I would wish for all townies to die.
>
> thats going to far.
Chad never goes too far.
> Chad Niga wrote:
> I hate townies. If i had one wish, i wouldnt wish to be rich, or
> famous, or what not. I would wish for all townies to die.
>
> thats going to far.
Chad never goes too far.
Heh, it's amazing what you can remember when you're bored and a townie convo is your only amusement.
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