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My streak of cruelty at work continued last night when a 9 inch serated blade made away with the tip of my finger. Granted I was the one brandishing the said implement, but that doesnt stop my anguish at losing my beloved finger tip. I was dicing tomatoes at 19:12pm when the blade slipped and slid about an inch down the side of my middle finger, tearing gallantly through flesh and sending a jet of blood over the chopping board. I staggered, dazed, to the sink to wash my wound and faintly asked my boss for a plaster, only to be greeted by his "Oh my God!"s and "what the f**k did you do"s
Truth be told it looked worse than it was, though it was a real gusher. The pain isnt so bad and I could work the rest of the night, but the real comfort comes in knowing that someone, somewhere ate a pizza with the end of my finger in last night.
Oh, and I heard my fat drunk parents having sex last night. That was horrible.
Truth be told it looked worse than it was, though it was a real gusher. The pain isnt so bad and I could work the rest of the night, but the real comfort comes in knowing that someone, somewhere ate a pizza with the end of my finger in last night.
Oh, and I heard my fat drunk parents having sex last night. That was horrible.
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Only been to hospital two times in my recent memory.
First time was when I was about 12/13, I walked across this big fish tank that a great-Uncle of mine used as a greenhouse...surprise, surprise, I fell through it, and had a massive gash through my knee, in which I could see my leg bones! Apparently I was lucky to keep the leg, and wound up in a wheelchair for 3 months with nothing but a Wombles pillow to keep me company.
Second time was earlier this year when I fainted getting out the bath. Luckily the water was drained away, but I still fell backwards in and hit my head on the edge. Apparently the heat causes your veins to expand, causing blood flow problems, which means you faint because it can't get to your brain quick enough when you get up. I'm very cautious in baths now, because it wasn't even a really hot one! They're unhygienic anyway - showers are much cleaner, and less wasteful.
First time was when I was about 12/13, I walked across this big fish tank that a great-Uncle of mine used as a greenhouse...surprise, surprise, I fell through it, and had a massive gash through my knee, in which I could see my leg bones! Apparently I was lucky to keep the leg, and wound up in a wheelchair for 3 months with nothing but a Wombles pillow to keep me company.
Second time was earlier this year when I fainted getting out the bath. Luckily the water was drained away, but I still fell backwards in and hit my head on the edge. Apparently the heat causes your veins to expand, causing blood flow problems, which means you faint because it can't get to your brain quick enough when you get up. I'm very cautious in baths now, because it wasn't even a really hot one! They're unhygienic anyway - showers are much cleaner, and less wasteful.
must have hurt
To solve the parents thing, you should shout in a scared and confused voice "whats that noise?!" like you're not sure what's going on. That'll stop them.
To solve the parents thing, you should shout in a scared and confused voice "whats that noise?!" like you're not sure what's going on. That'll stop them.
Damn thats nasty!
Paradox wrote:
> But only two hospital trips ever!
-------
That's two more than me.
My mate at work was telling me yesterday about how his mates got into a fight in a club, and he stepped in and got punched by about five people at the same time, was knocked out, and fell on the floor. The bouncers pulled him out, and his white shirt was strangely red. His mouth was basically ripped open down the chin. As in flesh was hanging off - he had a hole in his face.
He put a plaster over it, but eventually (as in a few days later) went to hospital and had his mouth stitched up. Ouch.
> But only two hospital trips ever!
-------
That's two more than me.
My mate at work was telling me yesterday about how his mates got into a fight in a club, and he stepped in and got punched by about five people at the same time, was knocked out, and fell on the floor. The bouncers pulled him out, and his white shirt was strangely red. His mouth was basically ripped open down the chin. As in flesh was hanging off - he had a hole in his face.
He put a plaster over it, but eventually (as in a few days later) went to hospital and had his mouth stitched up. Ouch.
I was okay until the last part.
Now, I feel sick.
Now, I feel sick.
Aoe wrote:
> You must have posted the most "I got injured" threads
> ever... You must be cursed.
But only two hospital trips ever!
> You must have posted the most "I got injured" threads
> ever... You must be cursed.
But only two hospital trips ever!
You must have posted the most "I got injured" threads ever... You must be cursed.
I'd say the second bit was worse than the first.
Yeuch.
Yeuch.
Paradox: wrote:
> Oh, and I heard my fat drunk parents having sex last night. That was
> horrible.
Suddenly I think you're one of Rab C. Nesbitt's kids...
> Oh, and I heard my fat drunk parents having sex last night. That was
> horrible.
Suddenly I think you're one of Rab C. Nesbitt's kids...
My streak of cruelty at work continued last night when a 9 inch serated blade made away with the tip of my finger. Granted I was the one brandishing the said implement, but that doesnt stop my anguish at losing my beloved finger tip. I was dicing tomatoes at 19:12pm when the blade slipped and slid about an inch down the side of my middle finger, tearing gallantly through flesh and sending a jet of blood over the chopping board. I staggered, dazed, to the sink to wash my wound and faintly asked my boss for a plaster, only to be greeted by his "Oh my God!"s and "what the f**k did you do"s
Truth be told it looked worse than it was, though it was a real gusher. The pain isnt so bad and I could work the rest of the night, but the real comfort comes in knowing that someone, somewhere ate a pizza with the end of my finger in last night.
Oh, and I heard my fat drunk parents having sex last night. That was horrible.
Truth be told it looked worse than it was, though it was a real gusher. The pain isnt so bad and I could work the rest of the night, but the real comfort comes in knowing that someone, somewhere ate a pizza with the end of my finger in last night.
Oh, and I heard my fat drunk parents having sex last night. That was horrible.
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