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...but I'm afraid to admit it.
My Parents and Girlfriend have all said I look 'down'. My Boss 'pulled me in' for a chat as concerns were raised by colleagues that I wasn't 100%, not all there, vacant. I can't be bothered with anything most of the time now. The only highlight in my life at the moment is getting my new car - a bit sad really. Retail therapy isn't cutting it like usual and I'm not eating as much as I normally do.
Could I be depressed/stressed? I despise my job, only staying for the money. The slightest things are annoying me and I'm just bottling my anger up inside. I feel the need to lash out almost all the time but again, keep it inside. I can never stay happy for too long, as I just start getting all negative again.
I'm not sleeping properly either. I finally went to the Doctors yesterday about it as I fell asleep at work on Tuesday. He gave me something to help me sleep at night but I doubt it'll work.
Worst of all, suicide has crossed my mind - BUT ONLY CROSSED IT, I've never given it any proper thought.
I don't know what's going on with me. I know there is something wrong, but I'm reluctant to admit I have a problem. The Doc asked me if I was Stressed or Depressed. I replied 'I don't think I am' - I feel that if I open up, people will think I'm some kind of Hypochondriac. I don't trust anyone. I feel they're all out to make me screw up.
This is probably the only place I can get my feelings across. I'll never see any of you lot, so I don't feel threatened by you. Feel free to ask questions/give comments, but I'm primarily writing this here for the satisfaction of knowing I have opened up in some way. The first step so to speak.
Finally, did any of that make any sense?!?
My Parents and Girlfriend have all said I look 'down'. My Boss 'pulled me in' for a chat as concerns were raised by colleagues that I wasn't 100%, not all there, vacant. I can't be bothered with anything most of the time now. The only highlight in my life at the moment is getting my new car - a bit sad really. Retail therapy isn't cutting it like usual and I'm not eating as much as I normally do.
Could I be depressed/stressed? I despise my job, only staying for the money. The slightest things are annoying me and I'm just bottling my anger up inside. I feel the need to lash out almost all the time but again, keep it inside. I can never stay happy for too long, as I just start getting all negative again.
I'm not sleeping properly either. I finally went to the Doctors yesterday about it as I fell asleep at work on Tuesday. He gave me something to help me sleep at night but I doubt it'll work.
Worst of all, suicide has crossed my mind - BUT ONLY CROSSED IT, I've never given it any proper thought.
I don't know what's going on with me. I know there is something wrong, but I'm reluctant to admit I have a problem. The Doc asked me if I was Stressed or Depressed. I replied 'I don't think I am' - I feel that if I open up, people will think I'm some kind of Hypochondriac. I don't trust anyone. I feel they're all out to make me screw up.
This is probably the only place I can get my feelings across. I'll never see any of you lot, so I don't feel threatened by you. Feel free to ask questions/give comments, but I'm primarily writing this here for the satisfaction of knowing I have opened up in some way. The first step so to speak.
Finally, did any of that make any sense?!?
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...but I'm afraid to admit it.
My Parents and Girlfriend have all said I look 'down'. My Boss 'pulled me in' for a chat as concerns were raised by colleagues that I wasn't 100%, not all there, vacant. I can't be bothered with anything most of the time now. The only highlight in my life at the moment is getting my new car - a bit sad really. Retail therapy isn't cutting it like usual and I'm not eating as much as I normally do.
Could I be depressed/stressed? I despise my job, only staying for the money. The slightest things are annoying me and I'm just bottling my anger up inside. I feel the need to lash out almost all the time but again, keep it inside. I can never stay happy for too long, as I just start getting all negative again.
I'm not sleeping properly either. I finally went to the Doctors yesterday about it as I fell asleep at work on Tuesday. He gave me something to help me sleep at night but I doubt it'll work.
Worst of all, suicide has crossed my mind - BUT ONLY CROSSED IT, I've never given it any proper thought.
I don't know what's going on with me. I know there is something wrong, but I'm reluctant to admit I have a problem. The Doc asked me if I was Stressed or Depressed. I replied 'I don't think I am' - I feel that if I open up, people will think I'm some kind of Hypochondriac. I don't trust anyone. I feel they're all out to make me screw up.
This is probably the only place I can get my feelings across. I'll never see any of you lot, so I don't feel threatened by you. Feel free to ask questions/give comments, but I'm primarily writing this here for the satisfaction of knowing I have opened up in some way. The first step so to speak.
Finally, did any of that make any sense?!?
My Parents and Girlfriend have all said I look 'down'. My Boss 'pulled me in' for a chat as concerns were raised by colleagues that I wasn't 100%, not all there, vacant. I can't be bothered with anything most of the time now. The only highlight in my life at the moment is getting my new car - a bit sad really. Retail therapy isn't cutting it like usual and I'm not eating as much as I normally do.
Could I be depressed/stressed? I despise my job, only staying for the money. The slightest things are annoying me and I'm just bottling my anger up inside. I feel the need to lash out almost all the time but again, keep it inside. I can never stay happy for too long, as I just start getting all negative again.
I'm not sleeping properly either. I finally went to the Doctors yesterday about it as I fell asleep at work on Tuesday. He gave me something to help me sleep at night but I doubt it'll work.
Worst of all, suicide has crossed my mind - BUT ONLY CROSSED IT, I've never given it any proper thought.
I don't know what's going on with me. I know there is something wrong, but I'm reluctant to admit I have a problem. The Doc asked me if I was Stressed or Depressed. I replied 'I don't think I am' - I feel that if I open up, people will think I'm some kind of Hypochondriac. I don't trust anyone. I feel they're all out to make me screw up.
This is probably the only place I can get my feelings across. I'll never see any of you lot, so I don't feel threatened by you. Feel free to ask questions/give comments, but I'm primarily writing this here for the satisfaction of knowing I have opened up in some way. The first step so to speak.
Finally, did any of that make any sense?!?
Simply answer.
Yup, that's depression bang on the head. I've been through exactly the same. I dealt with mine with drink and drugs.
Bottle your pride and disregard the stigma that isn't there (people will NOT thik you are "mental" for seeking help, quite the opposite in my experience). Try make an appointment to talk to someone.
I got through mine by just ignoring it, and I’ve a lot of scars to show for it.
Yup, that's depression bang on the head. I've been through exactly the same. I dealt with mine with drink and drugs.
Bottle your pride and disregard the stigma that isn't there (people will NOT thik you are "mental" for seeking help, quite the opposite in my experience). Try make an appointment to talk to someone.
I got through mine by just ignoring it, and I’ve a lot of scars to show for it.
Pandaemonium wrote:
> Simply answer.
>
> Yup, that's depression bang on the head. I've been through exactly
> the same. I dealt with mine with drunk and drugs.
>
> Bottle your pride and try make an appointment to talk to someone I'd
> suggest. I got through mine by just ignoring it, and I’ve scars to
> show for it.
Thanks for the input. When you suggest to see someone, do you mean someone other than my Doctor? I honestly don't like my Doctor, I feel he is incompetent and just prescribes me any old thing to get me out the door.
> Simply answer.
>
> Yup, that's depression bang on the head. I've been through exactly
> the same. I dealt with mine with drunk and drugs.
>
> Bottle your pride and try make an appointment to talk to someone I'd
> suggest. I got through mine by just ignoring it, and I’ve scars to
> show for it.
Thanks for the input. When you suggest to see someone, do you mean someone other than my Doctor? I honestly don't like my Doctor, I feel he is incompetent and just prescribes me any old thing to get me out the door.
ßulle†† wrote:
> Thanks for the input. When you suggest to see someone, do you mean
> someone other than my Doctor? I honestly don't like my Doctor, I feel
> he is incompetent and just prescribes me any old thing to get me out
> the door.
One thing you can try before talking to someone is St Johns Wort. I found a mixture of this and ginko bilabo was useful. Natural too, as I have a total phobia of taking any medicinal drug (even painkillers, yet I used to pile E, speed and anything else down my neck. Weird eh?)
They worked wonders with my mood, levelled me out and gave me a more positive outlook.
As you your doctor, if he tries to fob you off with pills, tell him in no uncertain terms you want to speak to a counsellor. He HAS to respect your wishes, and is more likely to refer you to someone than to start plying you with prozac etc.
I'm serious with all this BTW. What you descibed in your first post is virtually *exactly* what I went through 19 - 24 ish, and its a bleak, bleak place to be once you look back.
[edit] "|The doc asked me if I was Stressed or Depressed". He knows you are having dificulties, but the first step is to admit it to yourself. It doesn't make you anything less. It takes bravery to face problems.
> Thanks for the input. When you suggest to see someone, do you mean
> someone other than my Doctor? I honestly don't like my Doctor, I feel
> he is incompetent and just prescribes me any old thing to get me out
> the door.
One thing you can try before talking to someone is St Johns Wort. I found a mixture of this and ginko bilabo was useful. Natural too, as I have a total phobia of taking any medicinal drug (even painkillers, yet I used to pile E, speed and anything else down my neck. Weird eh?)
They worked wonders with my mood, levelled me out and gave me a more positive outlook.
As you your doctor, if he tries to fob you off with pills, tell him in no uncertain terms you want to speak to a counsellor. He HAS to respect your wishes, and is more likely to refer you to someone than to start plying you with prozac etc.
I'm serious with all this BTW. What you descibed in your first post is virtually *exactly* what I went through 19 - 24 ish, and its a bleak, bleak place to be once you look back.
[edit] "|The doc asked me if I was Stressed or Depressed". He knows you are having dificulties, but the first step is to admit it to yourself. It doesn't make you anything less. It takes bravery to face problems.
Sounds familiar. I often accuse my other half of being a manic depressant but he will not talk to anyone else about it either. He handles it with beer and I have to cope with him coping which is not fun.
You need to make an appointment and talk about this. Even reading other peoples experiences on here will not be enough. It may bring you some relief but it will only be short term. You will not only damaging yourself by bottling this up but will have unhappy effects on those people closest to you, especially the gf.
You need to make an appointment and talk about this. Even reading other peoples experiences on here will not be enough. It may bring you some relief but it will only be short term. You will not only damaging yourself by bottling this up but will have unhappy effects on those people closest to you, especially the gf.
I find the times I am like that, it's because I am not happy with work, if I am happy in a job everything else kinda falls into place. Maybe your job isn't mentally stimulating enough for you?
I actually don't believe in just 'talking about it to someone' and I don't believe that depression is an illness in most people (some people I know do have 'depression' their whole life, lack of serotonin being released or something), with most people it's a chain of events that happen so slowly that you don't even notice so things get a little worse day by day but you don't notice cos it's too small a change, and then bam you realise you're unhappy.
Small things make a change but you do need to realise and accept that you have a problem, and talk about it with your girlfriend, don't block her out.
Do you work out? Do you eat a balanced diet? What are your interests? How old?
You CAN do this, anyone who's been there will tell you that, and when you come out the other side you will be happier than you've ever been and will never take a moment for granted (hopefully)
I actually don't believe in just 'talking about it to someone' and I don't believe that depression is an illness in most people (some people I know do have 'depression' their whole life, lack of serotonin being released or something), with most people it's a chain of events that happen so slowly that you don't even notice so things get a little worse day by day but you don't notice cos it's too small a change, and then bam you realise you're unhappy.
Small things make a change but you do need to realise and accept that you have a problem, and talk about it with your girlfriend, don't block her out.
Do you work out? Do you eat a balanced diet? What are your interests? How old?
You CAN do this, anyone who's been there will tell you that, and when you come out the other side you will be happier than you've ever been and will never take a moment for granted (hopefully)
Oh, and if you need a laugh - when I read you're first line, that people kept telling you, you look 'down' I took you literally...
Kat wrote:
> I find the times I am like that, it's because I am not happy with
> work, if I am happy in a job everything else kinda falls into place.
> Maybe your job isn't mentally stimulating enough for you?
I know for a fact it isn't stimulating enough for me. I'm bored to hell day in, day out. I have the time to surf the internet virtually every minute of my shift. Sounds good, but soon starts to lose it's novelty...
> I actually don't believe in just 'talking about it to someone' and I
> don't believe that depression is an illness in most people (some
> people I know do have 'depression' their whole life, lack of
> serotonin being released or something), with most people it's a chain
> of events that happen so slowly that you don't even notice so things
> get a little worse day by day but you don't notice cos it's too small
> a change, and then bam you realise you're unhappy.
I reckon that's how it must have happened to me. I've never seen any obvious signs of it until the past couple of weeks.
> Small things make a change but you do need to realise and accept that
> you have a problem, and talk about it with your girlfriend, don't
> block her out.
Believe me, I'm trying not to block her out, but 9 times out of 10 I find myself snapping at her or ignoring her. She's a fantastic girflriend though, and has a lot of patience with my tantrums :D
> Do you work out? Do you eat a balanced diet? What are your interests?
> How old?
Well, I don't work out (I know, I know, I'm making a start on that as soon as I can!), My diet isn't exactly balanced - I eat healthy when I can, but most meals aren't exactly healthy. Interests? Playing Video Games (although that has gone out of the window the past fortnight), driving, playing Snooker/Pool. I don't play football or rugby etc. It doesn't interest me. Finally, my age. I'm 21, since Feb.
> You CAN do this, anyone who's been there will tell you that, and when
> you come out the other side you will be happier than you've ever been
> and will never take a moment for granted (hopefully)
I hope so too. I know it's beatable, I know I can be happier, it's just getting there :D
Oh, and your second post - heh. Never saw it that way!
> I find the times I am like that, it's because I am not happy with
> work, if I am happy in a job everything else kinda falls into place.
> Maybe your job isn't mentally stimulating enough for you?
I know for a fact it isn't stimulating enough for me. I'm bored to hell day in, day out. I have the time to surf the internet virtually every minute of my shift. Sounds good, but soon starts to lose it's novelty...
> I actually don't believe in just 'talking about it to someone' and I
> don't believe that depression is an illness in most people (some
> people I know do have 'depression' their whole life, lack of
> serotonin being released or something), with most people it's a chain
> of events that happen so slowly that you don't even notice so things
> get a little worse day by day but you don't notice cos it's too small
> a change, and then bam you realise you're unhappy.
I reckon that's how it must have happened to me. I've never seen any obvious signs of it until the past couple of weeks.
> Small things make a change but you do need to realise and accept that
> you have a problem, and talk about it with your girlfriend, don't
> block her out.
Believe me, I'm trying not to block her out, but 9 times out of 10 I find myself snapping at her or ignoring her. She's a fantastic girflriend though, and has a lot of patience with my tantrums :D
> Do you work out? Do you eat a balanced diet? What are your interests?
> How old?
Well, I don't work out (I know, I know, I'm making a start on that as soon as I can!), My diet isn't exactly balanced - I eat healthy when I can, but most meals aren't exactly healthy. Interests? Playing Video Games (although that has gone out of the window the past fortnight), driving, playing Snooker/Pool. I don't play football or rugby etc. It doesn't interest me. Finally, my age. I'm 21, since Feb.
> You CAN do this, anyone who's been there will tell you that, and when
> you come out the other side you will be happier than you've ever been
> and will never take a moment for granted (hopefully)
I hope so too. I know it's beatable, I know I can be happier, it's just getting there :D
Oh, and your second post - heh. Never saw it that way!
Pand, thanks for the St Johns Wort recommendation. I'll give them a try.
Thanks Sleepy, I reckon I will see someone sooner rather than later. Might just take Pandy's advice on requesting a Counsellor from the Doc.
Thanks Sleepy, I reckon I will see someone sooner rather than later. Might just take Pandy's advice on requesting a Counsellor from the Doc.
ßulle†† wrote:
> Pand, thanks for the St Johns Wort recommendation. I'll give them a
> try.
No probs. They'll take a couple of weeks to take an effect, but bear with them. I found them a godsend. I was going to see someone, but off a recommendation off a mate, I tried these. I never endedup going to see a counsellor.
Some info.
St Johns Wort [URL]http://www.all-natural.com/hyp-1.html[/URL] Natural treatment for depression.
Ginko Biloba [URL]http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/901290580.html[/URL] Supposedly uncreases bloodflow to the brain (can't be a bad thing)
> Pand, thanks for the St Johns Wort recommendation. I'll give them a
> try.
No probs. They'll take a couple of weeks to take an effect, but bear with them. I found them a godsend. I was going to see someone, but off a recommendation off a mate, I tried these. I never endedup going to see a counsellor.
Some info.
St Johns Wort [URL]http://www.all-natural.com/hyp-1.html[/URL] Natural treatment for depression.
Ginko Biloba [URL]http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/901290580.html[/URL] Supposedly uncreases bloodflow to the brain (can't be a bad thing)
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