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"The lifeguard was wetting himself"

I’ve had a dodgy hamstring for around half a year now and have decided that once a week as well as my usual gyming I am going to hit the swimming pool to give it some more gentle exercise.

So, today was the first day, and…I suck.

Can’t do front crawl for a long period of time. Tried doing frog stroke for the first time ever. I am like a frog, not a frog that glides effortlessly through the water, but more a frog that has had its arms and legs pulled of by an evil spotty 12-year-old child.

I also found that these swimming “techniques” I displayed were working my upper body more then my injured hamstring.

So, I got out, walked over to this little rack thing and picked up a bright red float.

I then proceeded to do length after length very slowly while holding a float in my hands. I got overtaken by old people, young people and I think I frog with no arms and legs went past me at one point.

Only two people in the pool used a float. Me, and a 6-year-old having a swimming lesson.

Bloody smug looking lifeguard.

tell you on msn

No, what?

do you know what else smells like chlorine..this is why i don't go swimming!

Swimming can shw how fit you really are. I thought I was moderately fit after doing some badminton, martial arts and joining the local footy team as a kid, but then I went swimming.... turns out it was a BAD idea. Couldn't last two lengths without panting.

Of course, I blame it on the chlorine.

Maybe that is why he was wetting himself...

English_Bloke wrote:
> I’ve had a dodgy hamstring for around half a year now and have decided
> that once a week as well as my usual gyming I am going to hit the
> swimming pool to give it some more gentle exercise.
>
> So, today was the first day, and…I suck.
>
> Can’t do front crawl for a long period of time. Tried doing frog
> stroke for the first time ever. I am like a frog, not a frog that
> glides effortlessly through the water, but more a frog that has had
> its arms and legs pulled of by an evil spotty 12-year-old child.
>
> I also found that these swimming “techniques” I displayed were
> working my upper body more then my injured hamstring.
>
> So, I got out, walked over to this little rack thing and picked up a
> bright red float.
>
> I then proceeded to do length after length very slowly while holding
> a float in my hands. I got overtaken by old people, young people and
> I think I frog with no arms and legs went past me at one point.
>
> Only two people in the pool used a float. Me, and a 6-year-old having
> a swimming lesson.
>
> Bloody smug looking lifeguard.



MMmmm....English_Bloke in speedos!!!

Ruined mildly by the typo, but yes. Me = genius and a crap swimmer

English_Bloke wrote:
> I then proceeded to do length after length very slowly while holding
> a float in my hands. I got overtaken by old people, young people and
> I think I frog with no arms and legs went past me at one point.

Gahahahahahahaha! Brilliance!

I swim like an inflatable crocodile.

I swim like the master of the ocean baby