Viewing Thread:
"I see dead people...no I don’t. I see a little sperm dude…"

Ever since we had to break some old lady’s window. I think I may have a scratched cornea. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but just wherever I look I can see this little sperm shaped thing. It’s irritating. I’m going to the doctor to get it looked at on Monday.

So, have any of you had sperm in your eyes? Or scratched your cornea’s?

I went to a cartoon opticians the other day and he showed me a picture of a sexy woman in a red dress to check how far my eyes would pop out on their stalks.

Then when I read the chart below back to him, he got angry and told me to leave. He claimed I was being unoriginal (which I am being now).

I
CC
DED
PEPL

Moral of the story. Never presume that a NHS approved cartoon Donkey is qualified to undertake an eye test.

Timmargh wrote:
> Best thread so far today.
>
> *hands over trophy*

Heh. ANYTHING that carries implications of improper fluids causing ocular damage is head and shoulders above the rest.

Of course, it could be that I like this thread so much as it's the only one Forest Gump hasn't polluted.

Except when I mentioned him there.

Damn.

Best thread so far today.

*hands over trophy*

I have an eye bath too. Never had any use out of it though, thankfully.

English_Bloke wrote:
> Ever since we had to break some old lady’s window. I think I may have
> a scratched cornea. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but just wherever I
> look I can see this little sperm shaped thing. It’s irritating. I’m
> going to the doctor to get it looked at on Monday.
>
> So, have any of you had sperm in your eyes? Or scratched your
> cornea’s?

I got glass in my eye the other day when I dropped a glass. I used some little container that fits over your eye to wash it out. Its still hurting a bit, but not nearly as much as the actual time it went in.

No your okay. I do that too.

Of course I'm really really freeky, so that may not be of any comfort to you...

Hiawatha didn't bother to much.....

*hums*

Have I got sperm in my eyes?

...No, not today anyway

Though if you mean that irritating wiggly thing I get sometimes... It looks like dust or something a wiggly....thing! If you follow it with your eyes it moves too fast away and it goes then comes back. I race it.

I need help.. But this is true

English_Bloke wrote:
> Light wrote:
> 'Of COURSE it is sir. Now if you could just step this way whilst we
> take your photograph to distribute round the area so people know NOT
> TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR YOU, YOU PERVERT!"
>
> "Pff, I can't help that I shoot like a...um...very far shooty
> person. Yeah."

'That's right sir. A "far-shooty person". Could you excuse me one moment sir?'











'BARRY! WE'VE GOT A PERVERT IN RECEPTION. WANNA SEE?'

I heard you had to be a far-shooter to get into the police :p

Light wrote:
> 'Of COURSE it is sir. Now if you could just step this way whilst we
> take your photograph to distribute round the area so people know NOT
> TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR YOU, YOU PERVERT!"

"Pff, I can't help that I shoot like a...um...very far shooty person. Yeah."