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"I'm an insanely stupid and red-faced person" commented Rafael Benitez, at a press conference today, before anyone had even asked him anything.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
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Don't forget about Heskey!
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Crouch? Heskey? Is this Jeopardy?
Erm, is it 'Name a true scrote of a striker who was signed needlessly for too much money by an extremely red-faced fatboy foreigner?'
Erm, is it 'Name a true scrote of a striker who was signed needlessly for too much money by an extremely red-faced fatboy foreigner?'
When have you ever watched Jeopardy?
Never, but I've seen a lot of American TV.
I've got the game on my PC. It's crap, but it was free so I don't care.
Alex Trebeck is the game show god
It'd be fantastic to get Mikey back. Can't see it happening though. Also can't believe that Crouch was bought for the same amount of money that Owen was sold for. Ludicrous.
Oh and by the way, Gareth, Flo's back in full training. I knew he wasn't out for the start of the season.
Oh and by the way, Gareth, Flo's back in full training. I knew he wasn't out for the start of the season.
He's not Peter Crouch so he'll never play. What difference does it make?
Just saying you were wrong :-)
I want lil Mickey back, even if Rafa doesn't. You wonder what the situation would have been three weeks ago before we signed Crouch if Owen was definitely available. I don't hate Petey but he's not a £7m man, not by any means. He's the kind of super sub you want off the bench in the last 15. Gerbil is exactly the kind of goer who should be brought on in an emergency, the extra legs to get past tired defenders. That only leaves Nando up front, and he needs help. Get rid of Milan, bring back Mickey I say.
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