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"I'm an insanely stupid and red-faced person" commented Rafael Benitez, at a press conference today, before anyone had even asked him anything.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
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Kirkland makes Saha look like the healthiest man alive.
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