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"Shift from hell"

Don't work Thursday and was first time round.

I work in a hospital shop, it's a charity and the staff consist of volunteers. Many like your gran and the occasional nutcase or Tim Nice but Dim likes.

So I need to introduce myself to about another 6 old women and a few nutters. Answer the same questions about where I live, University and Easter.

Two are bitter that I'm in charge and I'm just a 'wee laddie', I should have them shot.

Then both tills break at the same time during visiting hour. Then I have a queue of neds from Hamilton moaning at me and two old women getting in my way of fixing them.

Then one just disappears during her shift whilst I'm in the middle of a stock take so I need to do her job. Further to this a stupid child breaks three glass bottles of Irn Bru. Which leads to cut hands, child nearly breaking their neck.

Further to this I have some phyciatric patients shouting at themselves and holding up the queue and one constantly asking me if I trust them. During my break I get constant bing bongs to help out stupid old women find tea bags, ear plugs and some muffles from a man. " Erm we don't have them ".

Further Gollum like volunteer that didn't want to go home and obviously wanted a lift home even though I was walking, I went a different way incase she was going to rape me.

Yep, that's about it.

Sadly, I was impressed by myself.

Leave i think.

Not that it matters, it was so bad i almost fell over.

You'd plant me?

I don't BeLEAVE you

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Edit: Leaf or Leave?

I would supplant you.

Reminds me of the good old days when old ladies called me charlie and asked if my name badge "comes out".

I'm the boss though, I can kick you if I want.

Dammit.

*Spazzes out*

Before

And you must tell me about your new cooker each week

Before or after ive been in the bath?

You must have 5 or more wrinkles