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Tony, Special Reserve's founder, and manager, has been having a bad day...
Not only have two more people claimed Conker's Bad Fur Day, but there seems to be a problem down in stock...
"Well," Tony said, as he headed towards the stock section. "I was happily counting my riches this morning, when I heard a terrible crash..."
Inside the stock room, it seems that the problem is bigger than expected.
The entire stock of Teksta, the robotic puppy, has collapsed on Joe. Joe is unhurt, but in shock.
"One moment I was just stock taking... when suddenly, all these puppies started flying towards me." Joe made large bang type noises, to emphasise the point.
So, with all the puppies, trying to get themselves upright, and with Joe stuck underneath, it was going to take a while to be able to get them all off him.
Meanwhile, in the internet department...
"I know it's a nice little feature of the forums... but I'm not sure if they can handle it anymore. The worlds longest thread is getting big now... and we're going to have to upgrade to new servers soon."
The man, known only as the mysterious webmaster, continued.
"Another problem is..." Webmaster was stopped half way between his sentence by a large red flashing light appearing above the whole room...
"DAN ALERT! DAN ALERT!"
Familiar to the ritual now, Ali ran off down the corridor, trying to disconnect the server, before a single review by Dan brought it to it's knees...
Thankfully, Ali got there in time.
"It's a hard job, but it's satisfying when you come back in, and everyone's cheering and clapping."
The robotic puppies have been cleared now, and Joe, happy to be release from his cage of puppies, goes back up to the offices to choose the gameaday and filmaday winner, while Tony offers to continue the stock taking.
"He's young, yes..." Tony said of Joe, "He can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but he's a good boy. He'll do well in the future."
Webmaster is checking the forums.
"I'm a bit annoyed at Tony... not only does he give away a game to some sodding chimp everyday, which Ali and Joe, to be honest, just choose for a laugh, BUT, not only that, but he gives them away for other things too!”
He points at the screen.
"Look. Here. He's offering them games for ways to advertise the site... I mean, what's WRONG with OUR staff? Why doesn't he ask us, for crying out loud?"
Webmaster continues to search through the posts.
"And EVEN when he does this, they all complain when they don't win, anyway! Sodding chimps, all of them."
Ali is busy. Well, according to him, anyway.
"I have to finish reviewing Starfighter... it's for the site, you see. It's important I finish the game, so it doesn't shroud my judgement."
We ask him why he's already posted his review on the site.
"That was just there to keep them all happy." Ali screamed as his fighter collided with another ship, and plummeted into Naboo's atmosphere.
"GET. OUT."
We hurry away.
Not long after, we are told to go to the toilets, as we are told that someone has some important information for us.
"The puppies..." We hear the sound of a cigarette being sucked, "It wasn't an accident, they were pushed."
We ask by whom.
Another suck from the cigarette. "Ali. He hates Joe. He thinks Tony prefers him... That's all I have to say."
We leave the smoke filled toilets... and wait.
30 seconds later, No10 walks out of the toilet, and runs back to his office.
Webmaster has found another complaint.
"A troll. On the site."
We ask webmaster to explain what a troll is, because... err... some of our readers may not know what it is... yeah...
"A troll is someone who goes onto a discussion board to intentionally cause disruption to the staff, and to the sodding monkeys on the site. Guess which one I care more about."
Webmaster minimises a few windows as Tony goes past... he waits for him to leave, and then brings them back up again.
"As I was saying. A troll on the site... the lucky thing is, they always do reviews. Always try to win."
Webmaster picked up a phone on his desk, and pressed one button.
"Ali? Hi. Sorry to bother you, there's a troll on the site and..."
We could hear the obscenities screamed down the phone from a metre away. Webmaster put the phone down.
"Whoops. He was reviewing something... Must be Joe’s turn."
Another button was pressed.
"Joe? Hi. There's a troll on the site, and I want you to give a game so he'll sod off."
There was a pause.
"Nah, we do it all the time. Don't worry about it."
The phone was then put down. "That should get rid of him."
Webmaster laughed to himself as he read another of the "sodding monkeys" comments on how to improve the web site.
Tony has took Ali to his office, to ask him about what happened in the stock room today. We haven't been allowed inside, but we can just hear what's going on.
"I've been told that you pushed the stock on Joe."
There was a pause.
"Yes... it was me."
There was another pause.
"Why Ali? Why did you do it?"
There was a shorter pause...
"I didn't think you liked me anymore... I was jealous..."
"Oh Ali..." Tony sighed. "I like you all the same Ali! I've never liked Joe more than you!"
There was another pause.
"Really?
"Yes Ali. Really."
"Thanks Tony..."
"Hey, no problem."
Ali walked out of the office, and wiped his eyes...
Meanwhile, Joe had found the winner for the day.
"I see why Webmaster gets angry really." Joe said. "But if we got some kind of IP tracking system, then we could keep track of the people who come on."
We pass this suggestion onto Webmaster.
"That damn Joe... thinks he's so high and mighty just because he chooses the winners... Who are the real workers here? Me. That's who."
Webmaster read the gameaday update.
"Ah good. That should get rid of him... it doesn't always work though. One or two of the sodding monkeys won't leave, no matter how many games we throw at them. Some stupid git has chose two Gamecube games as well! And Tony wonders why I get angry at him!"
Home time. Ali stays a while, so he can finish his review... and Joe goes home, after making sure that all his tasks are done for the day.
Webmaster, however, has already left, two hours earlier.
And once again, a Special Reserve working day comes to an end. Tony checks the forums for the last time today, deletes a few posts, not because of swearing, just to see if anyone notices, and then leaves.
Not only have two more people claimed Conker's Bad Fur Day, but there seems to be a problem down in stock...
"Well," Tony said, as he headed towards the stock section. "I was happily counting my riches this morning, when I heard a terrible crash..."
Inside the stock room, it seems that the problem is bigger than expected.
The entire stock of Teksta, the robotic puppy, has collapsed on Joe. Joe is unhurt, but in shock.
"One moment I was just stock taking... when suddenly, all these puppies started flying towards me." Joe made large bang type noises, to emphasise the point.
So, with all the puppies, trying to get themselves upright, and with Joe stuck underneath, it was going to take a while to be able to get them all off him.
Meanwhile, in the internet department...
"I know it's a nice little feature of the forums... but I'm not sure if they can handle it anymore. The worlds longest thread is getting big now... and we're going to have to upgrade to new servers soon."
The man, known only as the mysterious webmaster, continued.
"Another problem is..." Webmaster was stopped half way between his sentence by a large red flashing light appearing above the whole room...
"DAN ALERT! DAN ALERT!"
Familiar to the ritual now, Ali ran off down the corridor, trying to disconnect the server, before a single review by Dan brought it to it's knees...
Thankfully, Ali got there in time.
"It's a hard job, but it's satisfying when you come back in, and everyone's cheering and clapping."
The robotic puppies have been cleared now, and Joe, happy to be release from his cage of puppies, goes back up to the offices to choose the gameaday and filmaday winner, while Tony offers to continue the stock taking.
"He's young, yes..." Tony said of Joe, "He can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but he's a good boy. He'll do well in the future."
Webmaster is checking the forums.
"I'm a bit annoyed at Tony... not only does he give away a game to some sodding chimp everyday, which Ali and Joe, to be honest, just choose for a laugh, BUT, not only that, but he gives them away for other things too!”
He points at the screen.
"Look. Here. He's offering them games for ways to advertise the site... I mean, what's WRONG with OUR staff? Why doesn't he ask us, for crying out loud?"
Webmaster continues to search through the posts.
"And EVEN when he does this, they all complain when they don't win, anyway! Sodding chimps, all of them."
Ali is busy. Well, according to him, anyway.
"I have to finish reviewing Starfighter... it's for the site, you see. It's important I finish the game, so it doesn't shroud my judgement."
We ask him why he's already posted his review on the site.
"That was just there to keep them all happy." Ali screamed as his fighter collided with another ship, and plummeted into Naboo's atmosphere.
"GET. OUT."
We hurry away.
Not long after, we are told to go to the toilets, as we are told that someone has some important information for us.
"The puppies..." We hear the sound of a cigarette being sucked, "It wasn't an accident, they were pushed."
We ask by whom.
Another suck from the cigarette. "Ali. He hates Joe. He thinks Tony prefers him... That's all I have to say."
We leave the smoke filled toilets... and wait.
30 seconds later, No10 walks out of the toilet, and runs back to his office.
Webmaster has found another complaint.
"A troll. On the site."
We ask webmaster to explain what a troll is, because... err... some of our readers may not know what it is... yeah...
"A troll is someone who goes onto a discussion board to intentionally cause disruption to the staff, and to the sodding monkeys on the site. Guess which one I care more about."
Webmaster minimises a few windows as Tony goes past... he waits for him to leave, and then brings them back up again.
"As I was saying. A troll on the site... the lucky thing is, they always do reviews. Always try to win."
Webmaster picked up a phone on his desk, and pressed one button.
"Ali? Hi. Sorry to bother you, there's a troll on the site and..."
We could hear the obscenities screamed down the phone from a metre away. Webmaster put the phone down.
"Whoops. He was reviewing something... Must be Joe’s turn."
Another button was pressed.
"Joe? Hi. There's a troll on the site, and I want you to give a game so he'll sod off."
There was a pause.
"Nah, we do it all the time. Don't worry about it."
The phone was then put down. "That should get rid of him."
Webmaster laughed to himself as he read another of the "sodding monkeys" comments on how to improve the web site.
Tony has took Ali to his office, to ask him about what happened in the stock room today. We haven't been allowed inside, but we can just hear what's going on.
"I've been told that you pushed the stock on Joe."
There was a pause.
"Yes... it was me."
There was another pause.
"Why Ali? Why did you do it?"
There was a shorter pause...
"I didn't think you liked me anymore... I was jealous..."
"Oh Ali..." Tony sighed. "I like you all the same Ali! I've never liked Joe more than you!"
There was another pause.
"Really?
"Yes Ali. Really."
"Thanks Tony..."
"Hey, no problem."
Ali walked out of the office, and wiped his eyes...
Meanwhile, Joe had found the winner for the day.
"I see why Webmaster gets angry really." Joe said. "But if we got some kind of IP tracking system, then we could keep track of the people who come on."
We pass this suggestion onto Webmaster.
"That damn Joe... thinks he's so high and mighty just because he chooses the winners... Who are the real workers here? Me. That's who."
Webmaster read the gameaday update.
"Ah good. That should get rid of him... it doesn't always work though. One or two of the sodding monkeys won't leave, no matter how many games we throw at them. Some stupid git has chose two Gamecube games as well! And Tony wonders why I get angry at him!"
Home time. Ali stays a while, so he can finish his review... and Joe goes home, after making sure that all his tasks are done for the day.
Webmaster, however, has already left, two hours earlier.
And once again, a Special Reserve working day comes to an end. Tony checks the forums for the last time today, deletes a few posts, not because of swearing, just to see if anyone notices, and then leaves.
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Not now you've said that and plus I don't think it's fair that Grix is allowed to use his brain to win gameaday...damn thing...
You still need to catch Meka....I would give you my win from yesterday but no...I don't think I will.
The Game
You still need to catch Meka....I would give you my win from yesterday but no...I don't think I will.
The Game
My sides have split, I need Grix's IP address so I can sue.
:-)
:-)
"entire stock of this robot dog might be one!"
Whoops. Should have done my research, really... :)
Whoops. Should have done my research, really... :)
Gameaday winner, gotta be.
I haven't read much of this yet but it occurs to me that our entire stock of this robot dog might be one!
It seems odd that it would collapse on Joe.
More likely that somebody from the internet department programmed it to jump up on him.
It seems odd that it would collapse on Joe.
More likely that somebody from the internet department programmed it to jump up on him.
Err... thanks Rasta...
Uh oh! Looks like I'm in trouble!!!
errrrrr no
lmao all the way through! Have to admit it Grix you do post some quality stuff amid all the crap. :-)
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