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An exact replica of a letter a daughter wrote to her parents from university (not my sister...honestly)
Dear Mom and Dad,
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been slow in writing this letter to you and I am very sorry for the thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but, before you read on, please sit down.
YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN, OKAY?
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I received after I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant from the local petrol station, which is just across the road from the housing block. He was the one who called the fire brigade and ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him and his three mates. It's a basement room and a little cramped for the five of us, but I think it’s kind of cute.
He is a very fine young man and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am with child. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents! I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care just the same that you gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection that prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests, and guess what. I carelessly caught it from him. But this will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am having on a daily basis. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms.
He is kind and, although not well educated, he is extremely ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your amazing tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin colour is different than ours and I am sure you will love him as much as I do.
His family background is good, too, for I am told that his father is an IMPORTANT weapons dealer in the village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant and I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis and there is no man (of any colour) in my life.
However, I got a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science, and I just wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.
Your Loving Daughter, Linda xxx.
Dear Mom and Dad,
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been slow in writing this letter to you and I am very sorry for the thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but, before you read on, please sit down.
YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN, OKAY?
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I received after I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant from the local petrol station, which is just across the road from the housing block. He was the one who called the fire brigade and ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him and his three mates. It's a basement room and a little cramped for the five of us, but I think it’s kind of cute.
He is a very fine young man and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am with child. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents! I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care just the same that you gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection that prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests, and guess what. I carelessly caught it from him. But this will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am having on a daily basis. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms.
He is kind and, although not well educated, he is extremely ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your amazing tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin colour is different than ours and I am sure you will love him as much as I do.
His family background is good, too, for I am told that his father is an IMPORTANT weapons dealer in the village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant and I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis and there is no man (of any colour) in my life.
However, I got a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science, and I just wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.
Your Loving Daughter, Linda xxx.
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you can't get an F grade at university, D is the lowest.
Haha. Very clever.
I knew someone who told their parents he had a brain tumour, which was sick, but then he told them he was gay and there wasn't a brain tumour. :s
I knew someone who told their parents he had a brain tumour, which was sick, but then he told them he was gay and there wasn't a brain tumour. :s
I've read that so many times over the last couple of years and it still makes me laugh. :)
if i did that to my mum and dad they will shoot me!
lol...
Quite a clever way to do it.
Quite a clever way to do it.
Yeah, sorry, I didn't want you to find out this way, but...
you're pregnant?
An exact replica of a letter a daughter wrote to her parents from university (not my sister...honestly)
Dear Mom and Dad,
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been slow in writing this letter to you and I am very sorry for the thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but, before you read on, please sit down.
YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN, OKAY?
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I received after I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant from the local petrol station, which is just across the road from the housing block. He was the one who called the fire brigade and ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him and his three mates. It's a basement room and a little cramped for the five of us, but I think it’s kind of cute.
He is a very fine young man and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am with child. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents! I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care just the same that you gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection that prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests, and guess what. I carelessly caught it from him. But this will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am having on a daily basis. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms.
He is kind and, although not well educated, he is extremely ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your amazing tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin colour is different than ours and I am sure you will love him as much as I do.
His family background is good, too, for I am told that his father is an IMPORTANT weapons dealer in the village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant and I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis and there is no man (of any colour) in my life.
However, I got a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science, and I just wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.
Your Loving Daughter, Linda xxx.
Dear Mom and Dad,
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been slow in writing this letter to you and I am very sorry for the thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but, before you read on, please sit down.
YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN, OKAY?
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I received after I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant from the local petrol station, which is just across the road from the housing block. He was the one who called the fire brigade and ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him and his three mates. It's a basement room and a little cramped for the five of us, but I think it’s kind of cute.
He is a very fine young man and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am with child. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents! I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care just the same that you gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection that prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests, and guess what. I carelessly caught it from him. But this will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am having on a daily basis. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms.
He is kind and, although not well educated, he is extremely ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your amazing tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin colour is different than ours and I am sure you will love him as much as I do.
His family background is good, too, for I am told that his father is an IMPORTANT weapons dealer in the village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant and I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis and there is no man (of any colour) in my life.
However, I got a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science, and I just wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.
Your Loving Daughter, Linda xxx.
Page: