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Or perhaps in jars,
I wouldn't have such trouble,
Meeting girls in bars,
I wouldn't have to drink so much,
To strut on the dance floor,
No longer would I think I was,
A conversation bore,
If confidence came in bottles,
Or if it grew on trees,
I wouldn't have to worry,
About my nobbly knees,
Fashion worries fade away,
I'd wear just what I'd like,
And when it came to karaoke,
I'd be first up to the mike,
If confidence came in bottles,
Or perhaps through taps,
I could climb great mountains,
And jump 'cross giant gaps,
I'd swim across the Channel,
Naked all the way,
And find a pretty French girl,
To roll with in the hay,
If confidence came in bottles,
Or perhaps in cans,
I'd hold the world to ransom,
With my evil plans,
As World Leader I'd be great,
I'd do the job with ease,
And maybe then I'd tell my mum,
I don't like mushy peas.
Hurry back.