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The Inspector strutted. It was what he did best.
He flipped up his collar against the cold, gave a wink at the moon, and strutted like a woman possessed.
Outside the club he stopped and sniffed the air. He peered around ... nothing.
But there was a strange straightness to the air. He hadn’t smelt that for a long while.
He sniffed again. The smell had gone.
The shrieks went up as he entered the club, through a massive red-raw brown-stained rather untasteful hole. He grinned.
“Go Go Gayget Feather Boa!” He shouted. One hundred lady-boys fainted.
“Go Go Gayget Nipple Rings!” He bellowed. One hundred cross-dressers swooned.
“Go Go Gayget Disco-Balls!” He proclaimed. One hundred sailors started at his crotch.
He waggled a bit, dragged on his cigarette holder and screamed. “Go Go Gayget Sexually-Named Brightly Coloured Cocktails!”
The night has begun.
Total insertion.
**
Gayget sighed and rolled over onto some mousetraps.
“Go Go Gayget Savlon,” he mumbled, wincing as always.
Then he stopped.
He lifted his arm. There were no mousetraps.
He wiggled his bootang. There was no bleeding.
Something hadn’t happened. He couldn’t breathe.
He looked around the room, stunned. There was no grease smeared across the walls. All the furniture was in tact. There were no small marsupials crawling amongst clamps and springs.
For the first time in his life, there were no strange tastes in his mouth.
“Good morning, Inspector.” Someone said. A woman, in fact.
“AAAARRRRGGGGGHHH!” Inspector Gayget screamed, “WOMAN!”
“That’s right, big boy. Now come down from the light fittings - I’ve got something to show you.”
“AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!” Inspector Gayget screamed, “WOMAN!” He fainted, in a way only gays can.
When he came to, he threw up everywhere. The room looked a little better now, though the chunks didn’t have their usual effect upon his manhood.
“I know ... I know,” He groaned, eyes frantic, trying to rationalise everything. “You used to be a man, right?”
She said nothing.
“Right?”
“Nope,” She sighed, “I’m 100% pure woman.” She jiggled various things. Gayget went into spasms.
“But ... but ..... We ... we didn’t ...” He made some obscure up-down eye movements behind smeared mascara. “Y’know .... do stuff, did we?”
“And it was goooooooddddd.”
“Eek!” He started hyperventilating (this time, without a cucumber) “Did I ... I ... touch .. you? Like, without ... gloves?”
“Oh yeah.”
“RRRRAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!” Was all he could vocalise.
He legged it into the bathroom, fetched the pH -57 acid from it’s usual position and began stripping his skin.
She found him rocking back and forward on his heels under the sink, mumbling Cher’s greatest hits.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” She cooed, “Wasn’t it good for you?”
His eye twitched.
Then a memory hit him full-force. His ears started bleeding.
“Yes.” He whimpered. “It was good. Very good. I enjoyed it.”
“Well then, all’s well and good. Fancy some waffles.”
“Yes please. NONONONO.” Some weird tumour-thing popped out of his neck. “It’s not well OR good.”
“What?”
“LOOK AT ME!”
You really don’t want a description.
It’s not very nice.
Not very nice at all.
“I’m a gay. A big fat gay.”
“Oh, come now Inspector. You’re not big or fat.”
He blushed, “Well ... I do try ...” He blinked. “NONONONO. I’m a GAY - that’s the main point here.”
“Well, duh.”
“Wha-” He stopped bleeding. Slightly.
Just then a massive jet-black car smashed through the wall. The door swung open and there sat Dr. Hetero, stroking a pusssy.
“MWU-HA-HA-HA!” He quoted, from a little card stuck on the dashboard. “Not so gay now, are we?”
Gayget stared at his bathroom sweet.
“Tha ... Tha .... That cost seven thousand pounds.” His bottom lip started to tremble. “I .. I understand you being evil and all, but that was just mean.”
Dr. Hetero started. “I-I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it’s just ... y’know ... the big, dramatic entrance...” He pointed out through the hole in the wall. “Look - I made a ramp and everything.”
Gayget held up a tear-drenched hand “It’s no use now. I appreciate the effort. But next time, just use the door like normal heterosexual people.”
“Gayget ... I don’t know what to say ... I so sorry. Please forgive me - it’ll never happen again. We’d just started being really good arch-enemies and everything. I don’t want things to end like this, it’s not right.”
“Well ...” He wiped his cheeks. “I suppose we could ... work around this. But I’m billing you. I’m sorry if I shouted, I got carried away.”
“Nono, it’s understandable. I sorry I gave you cause to shout in the first place. Arch enemies?”
Gayget considered, then held out a wrist so bend, it doubled back on itself. Dr. Hetero tried to shake it in the most manly way possible - then went back to frantic stroking of his pusssy. “Arch enemies.” Gayget agreed.
The woman looked very angry.
“Sir?” She said through gritted teeth, “I had everything sorted. Five more minutes and he would have been as straight as a line. Perhaps a line drawn by a one-legged, drug-craving blind man on stilts, but a line none the less.”
Gayget caught on.
He was very quick like that.
“You!?” He squealed, “You’re one of Dr Hetero’s spies.”
“Indeed,” The doctor replied, “My plan was to turn you straight - then the victory would be mine!”
“Oh,” Gayget considered, nodding. “Good plan.”
“Well, I do try.” Hetero blushed slightly. He gave a nervous cough and started tickling his pusssy.
“RRRAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!” The woman shouted. “You morons! I’m off.”
She jumped out the hole in the wall.
Hetero and Gayget exchanged a glance.
“Sorry about that ..” the Doctor explained “.. She’s new. I never liked her anyway.”
“Oh, that’s okay.”
“Did you notice? No, maybe it’s just me ... I pick up on these things ...”
“What?” Gayget asked.
“Her bra was showing.” He looked embarrassed. (Can you guess who she is it?)
“Oh, yeah. Filthy slu†.”
“Definitely. I don’t know where I got her from.”
“No .... Right, okay. I’ll ... er .. see you again then?”
“Oh, for sure.”
“Great.”
“Yeah.”
“Bye now.”
“Bye bye.”
“Alright then, goodbye.”
“See you.”
*4 hours later*
“Bye then.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Later.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Ahem.”
Dr Hetero reversed out the hole.
Ten seconds later the car flew back through the wall.
The door opened. Hetero was fingering his pusssy nervously.
“That was ... that was a good encounter, right?”
“Oh yeah, great - fantastic, in fact.”
“Good, good. You see, some people have said .. well, they said I’m a bit rubbish.”
“Oh, that’s not very nice.”
“I cried that night.”
“Oh dear.” Gayget looked down at his feet. “Do you ... fancy a ... coffee or anything.”
Dr. Hetero smiled, then looked away. He flushed red.
“Nono, I won’t bother you.”
“It’s no prob... “ But the car had gone. The sexual tension dissipated with a wet thud.
“Nice guy.” Gayget said to himself, and squatted on a baseball bat.
**END**
He flipped up his collar against the cold, gave a wink at the moon, and strutted like a woman possessed.
Outside the club he stopped and sniffed the air. He peered around ... nothing.
But there was a strange straightness to the air. He hadn’t smelt that for a long while.
He sniffed again. The smell had gone.
The shrieks went up as he entered the club, through a massive red-raw brown-stained rather untasteful hole. He grinned.
“Go Go Gayget Feather Boa!” He shouted. One hundred lady-boys fainted.
“Go Go Gayget Nipple Rings!” He bellowed. One hundred cross-dressers swooned.
“Go Go Gayget Disco-Balls!” He proclaimed. One hundred sailors started at his crotch.
He waggled a bit, dragged on his cigarette holder and screamed. “Go Go Gayget Sexually-Named Brightly Coloured Cocktails!”
The night has begun.
Total insertion.
**
Gayget sighed and rolled over onto some mousetraps.
“Go Go Gayget Savlon,” he mumbled, wincing as always.
Then he stopped.
He lifted his arm. There were no mousetraps.
He wiggled his bootang. There was no bleeding.
Something hadn’t happened. He couldn’t breathe.
He looked around the room, stunned. There was no grease smeared across the walls. All the furniture was in tact. There were no small marsupials crawling amongst clamps and springs.
For the first time in his life, there were no strange tastes in his mouth.
“Good morning, Inspector.” Someone said. A woman, in fact.
“AAAARRRRGGGGGHHH!” Inspector Gayget screamed, “WOMAN!”
“That’s right, big boy. Now come down from the light fittings - I’ve got something to show you.”
“AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!” Inspector Gayget screamed, “WOMAN!” He fainted, in a way only gays can.
When he came to, he threw up everywhere. The room looked a little better now, though the chunks didn’t have their usual effect upon his manhood.
“I know ... I know,” He groaned, eyes frantic, trying to rationalise everything. “You used to be a man, right?”
She said nothing.
“Right?”
“Nope,” She sighed, “I’m 100% pure woman.” She jiggled various things. Gayget went into spasms.
“But ... but ..... We ... we didn’t ...” He made some obscure up-down eye movements behind smeared mascara. “Y’know .... do stuff, did we?”
“And it was goooooooddddd.”
“Eek!” He started hyperventilating (this time, without a cucumber) “Did I ... I ... touch .. you? Like, without ... gloves?”
“Oh yeah.”
“RRRRAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!” Was all he could vocalise.
He legged it into the bathroom, fetched the pH -57 acid from it’s usual position and began stripping his skin.
She found him rocking back and forward on his heels under the sink, mumbling Cher’s greatest hits.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” She cooed, “Wasn’t it good for you?”
His eye twitched.
Then a memory hit him full-force. His ears started bleeding.
“Yes.” He whimpered. “It was good. Very good. I enjoyed it.”
“Well then, all’s well and good. Fancy some waffles.”
“Yes please. NONONONO.” Some weird tumour-thing popped out of his neck. “It’s not well OR good.”
“What?”
“LOOK AT ME!”
You really don’t want a description.
It’s not very nice.
Not very nice at all.
“I’m a gay. A big fat gay.”
“Oh, come now Inspector. You’re not big or fat.”
He blushed, “Well ... I do try ...” He blinked. “NONONONO. I’m a GAY - that’s the main point here.”
“Well, duh.”
“Wha-” He stopped bleeding. Slightly.
Just then a massive jet-black car smashed through the wall. The door swung open and there sat Dr. Hetero, stroking a pusssy.
“MWU-HA-HA-HA!” He quoted, from a little card stuck on the dashboard. “Not so gay now, are we?”
Gayget stared at his bathroom sweet.
“Tha ... Tha .... That cost seven thousand pounds.” His bottom lip started to tremble. “I .. I understand you being evil and all, but that was just mean.”
Dr. Hetero started. “I-I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it’s just ... y’know ... the big, dramatic entrance...” He pointed out through the hole in the wall. “Look - I made a ramp and everything.”
Gayget held up a tear-drenched hand “It’s no use now. I appreciate the effort. But next time, just use the door like normal heterosexual people.”
“Gayget ... I don’t know what to say ... I so sorry. Please forgive me - it’ll never happen again. We’d just started being really good arch-enemies and everything. I don’t want things to end like this, it’s not right.”
“Well ...” He wiped his cheeks. “I suppose we could ... work around this. But I’m billing you. I’m sorry if I shouted, I got carried away.”
“Nono, it’s understandable. I sorry I gave you cause to shout in the first place. Arch enemies?”
Gayget considered, then held out a wrist so bend, it doubled back on itself. Dr. Hetero tried to shake it in the most manly way possible - then went back to frantic stroking of his pusssy. “Arch enemies.” Gayget agreed.
The woman looked very angry.
“Sir?” She said through gritted teeth, “I had everything sorted. Five more minutes and he would have been as straight as a line. Perhaps a line drawn by a one-legged, drug-craving blind man on stilts, but a line none the less.”
Gayget caught on.
He was very quick like that.
“You!?” He squealed, “You’re one of Dr Hetero’s spies.”
“Indeed,” The doctor replied, “My plan was to turn you straight - then the victory would be mine!”
“Oh,” Gayget considered, nodding. “Good plan.”
“Well, I do try.” Hetero blushed slightly. He gave a nervous cough and started tickling his pusssy.
“RRRAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!” The woman shouted. “You morons! I’m off.”
She jumped out the hole in the wall.
Hetero and Gayget exchanged a glance.
“Sorry about that ..” the Doctor explained “.. She’s new. I never liked her anyway.”
“Oh, that’s okay.”
“Did you notice? No, maybe it’s just me ... I pick up on these things ...”
“What?” Gayget asked.
“Her bra was showing.” He looked embarrassed. (Can you guess who she is it?)
“Oh, yeah. Filthy slu†.”
“Definitely. I don’t know where I got her from.”
“No .... Right, okay. I’ll ... er .. see you again then?”
“Oh, for sure.”
“Great.”
“Yeah.”
“Bye now.”
“Bye bye.”
“Alright then, goodbye.”
“See you.”
*4 hours later*
“Bye then.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Later.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Ahem.”
Dr Hetero reversed out the hole.
Ten seconds later the car flew back through the wall.
The door opened. Hetero was fingering his pusssy nervously.
“That was ... that was a good encounter, right?”
“Oh yeah, great - fantastic, in fact.”
“Good, good. You see, some people have said .. well, they said I’m a bit rubbish.”
“Oh, that’s not very nice.”
“I cried that night.”
“Oh dear.” Gayget looked down at his feet. “Do you ... fancy a ... coffee or anything.”
Dr. Hetero smiled, then looked away. He flushed red.
“Nono, I won’t bother you.”
“It’s no prob... “ But the car had gone. The sexual tension dissipated with a wet thud.
“Nice guy.” Gayget said to himself, and squatted on a baseball bat.
**END**
Page:
Quality.
F******g quality.
Good work
F******g quality.
Good work
In Life?
I think I saw one of them, but it was late, and I promised myself to read it at a later date.
Hmm.
I think I saw one of them, but it was late, and I promised myself to read it at a later date.
Hmm.
Pruf.
My creative well is dry. I wrote 2 serious bits last week.
Or perhaps the week before.
Beggar all interest, though.
And that gets me mad.
My creative well is dry. I wrote 2 serious bits last week.
Or perhaps the week before.
Beggar all interest, though.
And that gets me mad.
Do something serious-like now, because your serious stuff is usually brilliant.
Usually.
Yey.
Usually.
Yey.
Paradox: wrote:
> FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> Happy now?
>
> Moderately. Moderately.
How so, Kyz, how so?
Did the flowers not lift your nasal senses into heaven?
Did the choclates not lift your area to new heights?
Did not the man and beast diplay team not lift your eyebrows right around to the back of your head?
Or was the story just a bit crap.
I must admit, this gay facade is growing a little tired. Perhaps a return to more main-stream entertainment is required.
The niche seemed cramped.
> FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> Happy now?
>
> Moderately. Moderately.
How so, Kyz, how so?
Did the flowers not lift your nasal senses into heaven?
Did the choclates not lift your area to new heights?
Did not the man and beast diplay team not lift your eyebrows right around to the back of your head?
Or was the story just a bit crap.
I must admit, this gay facade is growing a little tired. Perhaps a return to more main-stream entertainment is required.
The niche seemed cramped.
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> Happy now?
Moderately. Moderately.
> Happy now?
Moderately. Moderately.
Aah, true FFF gold.
FFF.
WinnAUr.
WinnAUr.
Happy now?
Fantasmical! :-)
Page: