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Saturday night shift, driving through the city centre when a group of bouncers running in the direction of a nightclub flag us down. I got out of the car and started to follow them while my colleague parked up the car and told the control room that we had been stopped.
So, I start running down this alleyway, the club is near the other end. From then start of the alley I could see a group of people standing to get into the club and about 7 big bouncers all facing away from this group. I ran up to the group and the bouncers said, “ok, the police are here, let him through, quickly.” At the end of this huddle of bouncers is what I can only describe as a steroid pumped bulldog chewing on a wasps nest. He wasn’t a tall guy, only about 5’ 8” but he was built like a tank. I looked behind and my colleague still wasn’t there. The guy was standing with his shoulders hunched up his arms slightly out to the side and his fists clenched.
“Ok, can I help you mate? What seems to be the problem?” were my first words.
*Man stares directly at the bouncers ignoring everything, if he even heard it*
My colleague now turns up. I was now pretty much standing right in front of him to prevent him from going for the bouncers. My colleague starts talking to him, because drunk men seem to listen to women coppers more for some reason. The guy makes one half hearted lunge for a bouncer, so we push him back and continue to talk to him. I draw my CS gas, just in case and my colleague gets her baton out.
The bouncers weren’t making the situation any better, 7 of them all standing there looking “intimidating”. We managed to get him to walk with us round the corner out of the alley so we could get him away from the bouncers and get him to an area where CCTV could keep an eye on what was going on.
We then got him to leave the area but asked CCTV to keep an eye on him and let us know soon if he returned to the area.
About 20 minutes later we got a call to say that he had returned, so off we went.
As we turned up at the scene there was already two other mobiles there, and two officers with the, “help”, of two bouncers had gotten him to the floor. I jumped out of the car while my colleague went to park it and ran over. I then lay on the floor with my arms wrapped around the guys legs whilst my Sgt put some leg straps on him. Another three officers put the handcuffs on him and that was the end of that.
I also found someone who had a tax disc that had expired in January 2003.
It’s all go I tells thee!
So, I start running down this alleyway, the club is near the other end. From then start of the alley I could see a group of people standing to get into the club and about 7 big bouncers all facing away from this group. I ran up to the group and the bouncers said, “ok, the police are here, let him through, quickly.” At the end of this huddle of bouncers is what I can only describe as a steroid pumped bulldog chewing on a wasps nest. He wasn’t a tall guy, only about 5’ 8” but he was built like a tank. I looked behind and my colleague still wasn’t there. The guy was standing with his shoulders hunched up his arms slightly out to the side and his fists clenched.
“Ok, can I help you mate? What seems to be the problem?” were my first words.
*Man stares directly at the bouncers ignoring everything, if he even heard it*
My colleague now turns up. I was now pretty much standing right in front of him to prevent him from going for the bouncers. My colleague starts talking to him, because drunk men seem to listen to women coppers more for some reason. The guy makes one half hearted lunge for a bouncer, so we push him back and continue to talk to him. I draw my CS gas, just in case and my colleague gets her baton out.
The bouncers weren’t making the situation any better, 7 of them all standing there looking “intimidating”. We managed to get him to walk with us round the corner out of the alley so we could get him away from the bouncers and get him to an area where CCTV could keep an eye on what was going on.
We then got him to leave the area but asked CCTV to keep an eye on him and let us know soon if he returned to the area.
About 20 minutes later we got a call to say that he had returned, so off we went.
As we turned up at the scene there was already two other mobiles there, and two officers with the, “help”, of two bouncers had gotten him to the floor. I jumped out of the car while my colleague went to park it and ran over. I then lay on the floor with my arms wrapped around the guys legs whilst my Sgt put some leg straps on him. Another three officers put the handcuffs on him and that was the end of that.
I also found someone who had a tax disc that had expired in January 2003.
It’s all go I tells thee!
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You should go into CID (coppers in disguise) THEN you'd get a decent car. You can run over all the scumbags you like.
I don't think our Astra could have taken him
For a second there I thought you said "and run him over". But you didn't.
*disappears*
Erm ....
Erm ....
Ok, you're forgiven.
*Lets go to shake Timmy's hand*
OH SH*T!
*watches Timmy disappear*
*Lets go to shake Timmy's hand*
OH SH*T!
*watches Timmy disappear*
Sorry again.
*soils underwear*
*soils underwear*
*Takes Timmy to the top of a big hill*
"Say sorry again"
*May have gone too far*
"Say sorry again"
*May have gone too far*
Easy - I was just kidding. I've been most of the day and it's been quiet - I thought I'd celebrate someone interesting turning up by being annoying ...
(sorry)
*wheels away*
(sorry)
*wheels away*
No, that is, "I've just woken up and have had a hard week and therefore don't care about my spelling. If I want to be ALOUD to drive then that is what I shall be. Ok? Mush-face?"
English_Bloke wrote:
> Becuase I'm not aloud to drive
Is that "I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE!" ?
> Becuase I'm not aloud to drive
Is that "I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE!" ?
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