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"I had dinner with Gary Kasparov last night...."

...he took half an hour to pass the salt.

A-boom-cha!

Ahaha.
Some of the additions to this thread have been comical genius.

They'd have to do those video messages to each other before the match.

monkey_man wrote:

> So you're saying it's all choreographed, like in wrestling?

Imagine the dull banners on display from the chess crowd:

"Kn to B4 = checkmate!"
"Kasparov is KING OF THE CASTLING"
"our guy has all the right moves!!!"
"kick him in the nuts"
"wtf is en passant anyway?"
"Pawn to kill"

Nnot like that but they have found the move they have made and then they have to wait untill someone gives the go ahead for them to move.

Gabriel Logan wrote:
> Why do chess players take so long to play chess anyway?
>
> I think they have earpieces in there ears so that people can tell
> them to make there move otherwise they would spend to long or to
> short a time on tv.

So you're saying it's all choreographed, like in wrestling? That would be excellent if Kasparov got really annoyed with his opponent, wiped the pieces off the board and started battering him with his chair! Their intros would be better too - in spandex on motorbikes with rock playing and a lady on each arm. Last I saw they just came on and sat silent for about 4 hours.

Do you play chess?

Why do chess players take so long to play chess anyway?

I think they have earpieces in there ears so that people can tell them to make there move otherwise they would spend to long or to short a time on tv.

"Was that someone at the door?"
"I don't know - I'll go and check, mate."

*groans*

You could've said "I had dinner with Gary Kasparov last knight" ... ?

Oh, that's poor - I'm sure I can do better.

Sorry, unknown - I liked your joke but got distracted by Saggy's story.

I've been trying to think of a suitable chess-related pun but have come up with zilch so far ...