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Video games are escapism. They put the gamer in a situation, which isn’t easily attainable, and let us live that. We don’t all have souped up cars that we race on the underground circuit (ala Need for Speed). However it seems war and mindless violence are classed as entertainment in the western world whilst these things are going on in other less developed parts of the world.
Early games like Space Invaders and Pac Man contained the same things, violence and fear. Ok so shooting at a barrage of spaceships or being chased through a maze isn’t particularly bad but that was a starting block for the horrific nature of modern games. So why is it that there are no ‘nice’ games on the shelves that allow you to act out happy and joyful things? Here are some of my ideas:
Virtual Parent:
Bringing a child into the world is reputedly one of the greatest and proudest moments of your life. You would select the role of a mother or father and be there at the birth (Contractions could be times by hitting a certain button and once the power meter was full you could go for a great big push). When the baby was growing up you could be there to witness its first steps and first words (Of course a built in voice coder would say your name for you!). You could then see its first days of school and lead the child through its life doing as you see fit and sharing in the joy of parenting. Of course when the child became a teenager it would become a turn-based fighting game with more blood and swearing than Reservoir Dogs.
Virtual Parent could be played in a single player mode or over the internet with a second player taking control of the other parent. Unlike other control-based games, you will not be able to drown/assault/eat the child because a built-in counsellor will spray tear gas at you from the floppy drive.
Lottery Winner:
You play a happy-go-lucky lottery winner who has possession of a surplus of cash and you can go on virtual spending sprees buying whatever you want. The game would look similar to Vice City and you would get calls asking for you to donate money to various charities. You can travel around a pre-rendered city buying anything and everything in sight. You can purchase houses, clothes and even businesses. If you buy a business you can sell whatever everything and anything you fancy or just give it away for free (Yes, you are that rich). You can buy virtual friends in the game, shallow I know, and they will follow you around saying nice things to you and boosting your ego for a small fee. Of course an adult version of the game will be available where you can travel down the red light district and pay for certain ‘services’ with your wealth.
Lottery Winner would be able to be played on an AI controlled city or on the internet where everyone is rich and struts around been happy and flashing their cash. This may seem shallow and pathetic but it sure would give you a happy flutter whilst it lasted.
Super Holiday Generator:
Holidays are generally the best two weeks of the year and with this game you can have a holiday whenever you like without the itchy sunburn and £2,000 cost. You can choose your destination, who you go with and how long for but best of all you don’t pay! You can get a luxury suite in the finest hotel and lap up the virtual sun (for added realism you can turn the radiators on!) You have the option of been able to get a nice tan, stay pasty white or go as red as a tomato like most British tourists. You can do the usual holiday things in the game such as lounging around the pool, going to theme parks, spending a fortune at the amusement arcades and if you enter your credit card details you can visit the nudist beach. You can then hook up with some estranged Spanish waitress or go to a family club with the wife and kids. Its all up to you.
This is strictly a 1-player game as other players may be offended by your vile suggestions. This would be a technological breakthrough and the only drawback would be the timeshare leaflets stuffed inside the game box.
Celebrity – The game:
Everyone at some time or another has wanted to be famous right? Well here you can be thrown in the celebrity circuit and do as you wish. You can get a respectable position presenting a TV show or been a sport star or you can opt for the low grade jobs like presenting mortgage adverts and bringing out your own record label. You can get married to another famous person or have an illicit affair with Ulrika Johnson or some bloke from Holby City. You can take whatever jobs you want and make public appearances if and when you can be bothered. Otherwise you can bask in your stardom and casually present a breakfast show with Lorraine Kelly and Eamon Holmes. Do publicity stunts (I’m looking at you, Jordan) – or simply let the MTV crew film an episode of cribs in your funky bachelor pad. You can make the public love you like Chris Tarrant or hate you like Chris Evans, the quest is of your own making.
This is strictly a 1-player game so the AI public can praise you or hate you depending on what you do and to launch random raids on your house and plant drugs in your swimming pool. The game would be entertaining to say the least but with a game like this there would be no need for ITV any more.
With games like these the general gaming community would have grins bigger than the national debt of Russia. You can be famous, but without the rabid fans rummaging through your bins or following you around Tesco. More happy games should be created instead of the ‘shoot everyone in a groin with an AK47’ titles that are plaguing the shelves. Happy games would make the world a better place...perhaps.
Early games like Space Invaders and Pac Man contained the same things, violence and fear. Ok so shooting at a barrage of spaceships or being chased through a maze isn’t particularly bad but that was a starting block for the horrific nature of modern games. So why is it that there are no ‘nice’ games on the shelves that allow you to act out happy and joyful things? Here are some of my ideas:
Virtual Parent:
Bringing a child into the world is reputedly one of the greatest and proudest moments of your life. You would select the role of a mother or father and be there at the birth (Contractions could be times by hitting a certain button and once the power meter was full you could go for a great big push). When the baby was growing up you could be there to witness its first steps and first words (Of course a built in voice coder would say your name for you!). You could then see its first days of school and lead the child through its life doing as you see fit and sharing in the joy of parenting. Of course when the child became a teenager it would become a turn-based fighting game with more blood and swearing than Reservoir Dogs.
Virtual Parent could be played in a single player mode or over the internet with a second player taking control of the other parent. Unlike other control-based games, you will not be able to drown/assault/eat the child because a built-in counsellor will spray tear gas at you from the floppy drive.
Lottery Winner:
You play a happy-go-lucky lottery winner who has possession of a surplus of cash and you can go on virtual spending sprees buying whatever you want. The game would look similar to Vice City and you would get calls asking for you to donate money to various charities. You can travel around a pre-rendered city buying anything and everything in sight. You can purchase houses, clothes and even businesses. If you buy a business you can sell whatever everything and anything you fancy or just give it away for free (Yes, you are that rich). You can buy virtual friends in the game, shallow I know, and they will follow you around saying nice things to you and boosting your ego for a small fee. Of course an adult version of the game will be available where you can travel down the red light district and pay for certain ‘services’ with your wealth.
Lottery Winner would be able to be played on an AI controlled city or on the internet where everyone is rich and struts around been happy and flashing their cash. This may seem shallow and pathetic but it sure would give you a happy flutter whilst it lasted.
Super Holiday Generator:
Holidays are generally the best two weeks of the year and with this game you can have a holiday whenever you like without the itchy sunburn and £2,000 cost. You can choose your destination, who you go with and how long for but best of all you don’t pay! You can get a luxury suite in the finest hotel and lap up the virtual sun (for added realism you can turn the radiators on!) You have the option of been able to get a nice tan, stay pasty white or go as red as a tomato like most British tourists. You can do the usual holiday things in the game such as lounging around the pool, going to theme parks, spending a fortune at the amusement arcades and if you enter your credit card details you can visit the nudist beach. You can then hook up with some estranged Spanish waitress or go to a family club with the wife and kids. Its all up to you.
This is strictly a 1-player game as other players may be offended by your vile suggestions. This would be a technological breakthrough and the only drawback would be the timeshare leaflets stuffed inside the game box.
Celebrity – The game:
Everyone at some time or another has wanted to be famous right? Well here you can be thrown in the celebrity circuit and do as you wish. You can get a respectable position presenting a TV show or been a sport star or you can opt for the low grade jobs like presenting mortgage adverts and bringing out your own record label. You can get married to another famous person or have an illicit affair with Ulrika Johnson or some bloke from Holby City. You can take whatever jobs you want and make public appearances if and when you can be bothered. Otherwise you can bask in your stardom and casually present a breakfast show with Lorraine Kelly and Eamon Holmes. Do publicity stunts (I’m looking at you, Jordan) – or simply let the MTV crew film an episode of cribs in your funky bachelor pad. You can make the public love you like Chris Tarrant or hate you like Chris Evans, the quest is of your own making.
This is strictly a 1-player game so the AI public can praise you or hate you depending on what you do and to launch random raids on your house and plant drugs in your swimming pool. The game would be entertaining to say the least but with a game like this there would be no need for ITV any more.
With games like these the general gaming community would have grins bigger than the national debt of Russia. You can be famous, but without the rabid fans rummaging through your bins or following you around Tesco. More happy games should be created instead of the ‘shoot everyone in a groin with an AK47’ titles that are plaguing the shelves. Happy games would make the world a better place...perhaps.
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O contraré
entendre, basically like an inuendo.
No it isnt.
Not EVERYTHING
Not EVERYTHING
a double what?
ive noticed that everything borat and biggles posts is about porn or a double entendre...
:D
:D
Paradox: wrote:
> Pfft you just made it sound like Centre Parcs, without the choice of
> location
no, you could go to the french alps, skiing, or jetskiing in the caribbean, or maybe shark fishing in florida.
think of the possibilities.
of course, the word geek would be tailor made for such a choice of passtime.
> Pfft you just made it sound like Centre Parcs, without the choice of
> location
no, you could go to the french alps, skiing, or jetskiing in the caribbean, or maybe shark fishing in florida.
think of the possibilities.
of course, the word geek would be tailor made for such a choice of passtime.
Pfft you just made it sound like Centre Parcs, without the choice of location
It might be weird, but I like the idea of a virtual holiday generator.
You could have a choice of destinations, and a range of activities.
mmmmm maybe not
You could have a choice of destinations, and a range of activities.
mmmmm maybe not
But then again couldnt any scenario ever imaginable go horribly wrong?
Just like Postal 2
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