Viewing Thread:
"The Last Samurai"

Saw it on the weekend. Pretty good - a bit like Braveheart set in Japan. Cruise is okay in it although some of his lines are so corny they could feed a chicken for five years. But it is quite an epic sweeping story with that undefinable hint of grandeur about it that should convince most people to see it.
There are some decent battles scenes in it as well - obviously not on a par with the sword fights in Kill Bill but good nonetheless.
What? You want a quick synopsis of the story? Ok but if you reckon this'll spoil it, then don't read on.
Cruise plays a disillusioned captain in the US army. Except he isn't in the army any more - he's got a contract with Winchester to promote their weapons. He's haunted by the reckless killings he committed whilst in the army and he's offered a new contract; to train the Japanese army against the Samurai who are staging rebellious uprisings. Anyway, he goes to Japan and gets captured by the Samurai and is kept as a hostage. However he also learns their way of life and comes to respect it. He joins forces with the Japanese Samurai to fight against the very people he was supposed to train. The film culminates in a good battle scene. Obviously, I'm not going to tell you what happens and this is the bare bones of the film but you get the gist.
I'd give it a whirl if you like that sort of thing.

Oh yeah, before any mindless cretins scream "It's not out until Jan 9!", I wish to say that I've just got back from Thailand (again) where it was widely available on DVD for the princely sum of £1.50...

They tried to save Jesus, but the evil CommunistNazis delayed them and they were a little late. When they finally got there, they decided to just attack the Romans as punishment.

Ah yes.


The USA saved us from Germany in WW2.

Because Soviet Russia wasn't totally kicking Hitlers backsde at all.


COMMMMIIIEES!

ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> He is in fact a great martial artist, just a terrible actor.

--------

I've seen him do ONE kick without his girdle falling off. And I think they used wires to support him.

The rest of the time he has a knife and flops it around a lot, looking menacing.

Everyone knows America was the first country into WW1 and 2, defeated the Russians in the Cold War and were, in fact, around when the Romans ruled, and defeated them too.

And they've saved the world from aliens at least twice.

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> One US Navy Seal... played by Steven Segal!
>
> "I can't act, but I sure can wave my arms around and make it
> look like I know martial arts."

He is in fact a great martial artist, just a terrible actor.

"I'm gonna take you to the bank, senator trent, to the BLOOD BANK!"

heh

Hmmm.

Lets think of the most iconic event in a nations history for the past 200 years.........excepting perhaps Trafalger and Waterloo, and make it look like another nation was in fact fighting for them?!

Yeah!

One US Navy Seal... played by Steven Segal!

"I can't act, but I sure can wave my arms around and make it look like I know martial arts."

Next will be the story of the Iranian Embassy Siege, which for no apparent reason, was ended by one US Navy Seal, armed with a pistol and a knife.

I heard rumours about this but I laughed it off as being ridiculous claiming it would never happen. MORE FOOL ME!
He will single handledly win the war for us by reprising his role in Top Gun and acting exactly the same.
What next? Cruise plays an Arab who conquers the whole world and defeats Genghis Khan?


I'm quivering with fury as I'm typing this. And not just because of Cruise. That foolish scumbag Bacon is dancing as if someone's attached two electrodes to his balls.

Oh don't worry, if I ever make it as a director, I'll be sure to re-write American history.

I know, let's say the French didn't defeat the Germans and we actually WON their war of independence.

(I'm making reference to the fact that there was very little American/British fighting, but it was the French fighting for them and German mercenaries fighting for us)