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"POLL!!! PEOPLES NAMES!"

I just got emailed the definition of mens names, i was want people to guess the names of people who post on here, using only their writing style and the list below.
Sorry about some of the language by the way, i've tried to change it as much as possible!

Eg, I think that Nintendo Is Simon bloke's real name is Liam.

Definitions of Men's Names

Aaron - ugly but has the best yarmulke.
Adam - cute, funny and needs a bath.
Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alec - philosophical ladies man.
Alex - tall and handsome but very open to corruption.
Alfie - prefers football to his girlfriend.
Andy - boring
Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls.
Arnold - loser.
Barry - lights fires and pinches girls bottoms.
Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
Bernard - dope head and slap happy.
Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett - world wide stud and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just a naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
Bronson - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.
Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies no real person has that name.
Christian - very sexy and seductive (think 'Legends of the Fall').
Clayton - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Con - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
Craig - tries to fit in - he never does. C
yril - well, Cyril.
Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
David - hottie and works out a lot, loves girls named Flo.
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and warts.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Dwight - plays dungeons and dragons.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get 'cos he's an ***
Erik - funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.
Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Hayden - tries hard.
Ian - really popular but thinks all the girls want him.
James - legendary farter.
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
Jermaine - ugly and makes girls puke.
Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack - stupid but hot.
Jimmy - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Junior - hottie and totally good at football.
Kane - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kevin - can never get a girlfriend.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Kim - very understanding and caring, feels lost in Korea.
Kurt - can kick anyone's @r$e.
Ky - see Kane.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big bum.
Laurie - short and funny looking.
Leigh - girl dressed up as boy.
Liam - loud mouthed @r$ehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.
Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Louie - unconventional, wise and annoying.
Luke - dud.
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Mike - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl, which is totally sweet.
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel like he's there.
Oscar - loser, a good name for a dog.
Owen - cute guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Peter - silently strange, makes all the women feel sick.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Reagan - kook.
Rhys - had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago.
Rikki - see above.
Rob - tall and ugly...everybody hates him.
* Rodney - as wide as he is tall, as intelligent as he is unique.
* Romi - built like a tank yet hard to hit, floats like a butterfly & stings like a bee
Ron - dresses like AFL footballer and likes to prance.
Ross - total loser and computer genius.
Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun - bit of a hard git, thinks women love him.
Stephen - popular and funny when looked at side-on.
Stuart - droll guy with great bum and suicidal tendencies.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Troy - cute and popular.
Vito - mastermind of corruption.
Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will - wishes he were popular.
Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
Zoran - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

Edgy wrote:
> Actually his names Lewis, and that's not even up there!

Even more Edgy than normal today huh?

What about Danzel Whasington? :-D

Actually his names Lewis, and that's not even up there!

ssxpro wrote:
> I think Lewinsky was called Jesse.
Sniper might be Hayden. :-)


Lol!, i'll go with both of those!

I think Lewinsky was called Jesse.
Sniper might be Hayden. :-)

Now i know its not true look at Tony.........:D

yeh he loved that place

Wasn't Oscar a grouch? And he had a great big happy (well as happy as grouches can be) family did he not? Doesn't seem like a loser to me... Although there was the whole living in rubbish bin thing (but he seemed to like it)...

Do you think Sniper's name is Oscar? It's only a suggestion based on his writing style

:-P

So about 30% is wrong then? that seems quite a lot to me to be honest.....
:-)