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"Good Quotes"

I often hear good, humourous or phillosophical quotes that I wish to remember but forget after a few moments, however if we keep all our quotes in one place then we will have a resource of clever quotes to use in essays, drunken pub banter or wars of words with the clerk at Debenhams.

A few good quotes I have read/heard lately are...

"Life is a lesson, you learn it when you're though"

- Limp Bizkit

Yeah I know Fred Durst is a whiney blonde tart and not a phillosopher, but I like this quote. I am yet to use it in a formal context though

"If anyone cries at my funeral, I'll never speak to them again."
- STAN LAUREL

I think that's just plain brilliant.

"Sh*t happens"

It's just SO true.


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I am sure the likes of the notables and you clever life forum people have much more intelectual quotes than I, but I would like very much to hear them.

Two reasonably unfunny ones:

"Life is rather like a tin of sardines: we're all of us looking for the key."

Alan Bennett


"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it...."

Tom Lehrer

"Millions who long for immortality do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afrernoon."

Susan Ertz

"Ooh, Neil likes to take Sarah from behind, doesn't he?"

My Gran, commenting on my father's videoing, where the camera kept unfortunately viewing my aunt's backside.

Nice one Ant ;-)

"All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to you."

- J.R.R Tolkien (Gandalf)

Not exactly a quote, but....






Chris Morris: I suppose the tragedy is that you have to be.

Andrew Morton: I have to be...what?

Chris Morris: Yes.


(Later)

CM: We've arranged for a copy of your book to be sent to the young Princes at Eton.

AM: (sounding nervous) Oh?

CM: Yes, we're having it hand delivered to them at school by a Princess Diana lookalike. Do you think that they'll like that?

AM: Ummm...I'm not sure that's appropriate.

Extract from interview with Andrew Morton, author of the Diana, Her Story Biography.

"Did you ever hear anyone say 'That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very dangerous to me'?" - Joseph Henry Jackson

"Freedom of the Press, if it means anything at all, means the freedom to criticize and oppose." - George Orwell

"This precisely the purpose of censorship- not only to block unwanted views, but to keep people who are unhappy from knowing how many millions of others share their unhappiness; to keep the dormant opposition from awakening to its own developing strength" - Hedrick Smith

Good quote :

"When we're good, we never remember. When we're bad, they never forget."
- Unknown

Brilliant quote from ST's collection of quotes:

"A man with no imagination, is a man with no wings"

But what happens if he has red bull instead?