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"Christmas Number one"

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Thu 18/12/03 at 13:12
Regular
"Back from the dead!"
Posts: 4,615
To me, it always seemed that the pop music industry could not get any worse, and I've posted before on how much I hate the manufactured money-churning kiddie-exploiting junk they call music, but yet again they have excelled themselves to new heights with the christmas number ones lineup.

Darkness.
This'll probably get the number one slot. Everyone loves them at the minute, and it's got sleighbells in, so it has to be a hit.

Proper Chrim-Bo.
Havent heard this one yet, am keeping my eye out on the music channels for it before I make my verdict.

Cheeky girls - have a cheeky christmas.
WHAT THE F*** IS THIS!!!!!! These two useless, talentless saps with nothing more than a pair of matching shiny hotpants to sell records are still making money? This song is the dreggs of manufactured a*se.

Pop rival contenders - war is over thing.
How anyone could release a song saying that the war is over when the war isnt at all over and British troops are still out there is beyond me, but to make it that bit more 'pop-classy', it's been done by a bunch pf people that arent even pop stars, but a bunch of kids on a reality tv show that noone gives a toss about anyway. Also spot the underage kids in the video - have the judges not noticed?

Christmas is all around.
Utter w**k. Whoever came up with this idea lost their only brain cell when they last cut their toenails. Even on the video the guy who sings it says that the song is rubbish. Note the fractionally different chord changes to aviod paying WWWet any money on royalties, and not only using the gag of getting girls in bikinis on the video to make men watch it, but saying it too.

Gareth gates - another pile of junk.
This isnt even a christmas song! It doesnt even have any sleighbells in it!!!! Well done pop world by still making the money out of this whimpering chimp, who now has his hair done at Vileida, but if you want christmas number 1 you're gonna at least have to have sleighbells.

Whoever those birds are that are doing 'Jump for my love'
Why this warranted a cover is anyones guess... oh yes - they dont have the ability to write their own songs, and they want a fast buck. They could have at least tried to make it sound like a new song, instead of taking the old one, raising the volume of the bass drum, and then getting some bontempi organ wheezing for a bridge.

It used to make me mad. It ued to make me so angry that I felt like I would not be committing a crime by killing Pete ("If one true pile doesnt make number one i'll give up the pop industry" - LIAR!!!) Waterman and Simon ("If i get in on the video and play the sleighbells, I'll get royalties too") Cowell, but not any more. It used to make me think that the pop industry had really hit the bottom this time, and that the kids would realise what mugs they are being by buying this manufactured pap, they would stop buying stuff, and the pop world would have to start writing credible music to gain it's audience back.

But it isnt going to happen. They will keep finding new nobodies, give them a weak song, and then when the kids get bored of them, they'll get another pop-wannabe and do the same over again, while the original nobodies go back to flipping burgers. Kids will keep buying it, as at the age of 5 (where the market is now aimed) they don't know any better, and next christmas we'll have even more seasonal guff, even more reworked cheddar and even more sub-average songs with sleighbells in.

I hope that the cheeky girls get christmas number one. It'll be the angel on the cheesiest tree yet.
Fri 19/12/03 at 11:37
Regular
Posts: 15,681
Slaveunit wrote:

> Darkness.

There is no justice if they get to number 1.

>
> Proper Chrim-Bo.

This is exactly what a Christmas song of the 21st Century should be - funny, stupid and being rather entertaining.
>
> Cheeky girls - have a cheeky christmas.

You really think they'll get number 1? I don't.

>
> Pop rival contenders - war is over thing.
> How anyone could release a song saying that the war is over when the
> war isnt at all over and British troops are still out there is beyond
> me, but to make it that bit more 'pop-classy', it's been done by a
> bunch pf people that arent even pop stars, but a bunch of kids on a
> reality tv show that noone gives a toss about anyway.

Millions of people are voting - so, despite the majority of teenagers hating Pop Idol, it hasn't stopped them raking in the cash from the phone-ins alone.

>
> Christmas is all around.

They've ruined a classic Wet Wet Wet love song. Utter balls.


> Gareth gates - another pile of junk.

He wont get number 1 - his last song was crap, and this one is too.

>
> Whoever those birds are that are doing 'Jump for my love'

Girls Aloud - this song has been out too long to be a Christmas number 1. And considering to do so it would have to content against Christmas is all around, from the same movie, I doubt it'll happen.

Kids will keep buying
> it, as at the age of 5 (where the market is now aimed) they don't
> know any better, and next christmas we'll have even more seasonal
> guff, even more reworked cheddar and even more sub-average songs with
> sleighbells in.
>

When I was 5, I was given enough pocket money to buy the Beano once a week. I know that if I have kids in the future, they wont be able to afford CDs with their pocket money.
Fri 19/12/03 at 10:51
Regular
"we escape....."
Posts: 904
ah i can't wait until ppl start realising the darkness are crap and for the past 6 months they've been acting like idiots by calling a novelty act the saviours of music.
I wanna see either Mad World, Cliff Richard or Noddy Number One this Christmas.
Fri 19/12/03 at 10:02
Regular
Posts: 2,774
Timmargh wrote:
> Slaveunit wrote:
> Christmas is all around.
> Utter w**k. Whoever came up with this idea lost their only brain
> cell
> when they last cut their toenails. Even on the video the guy who
> sings it says that the song is rubbish. Note the fractionally
> different chord changes to aviod paying WWWet any money on
> royalties,
> and not only using the gag of getting girls in bikinis on the video
> to make men watch it, but saying it too.
>
> It's called "a p*** take". The guy singing it is an actor
> who stars in 'Love, Actually' and he plays an ageing singer who's
> trying to make a comeback. And The Troggs did it first - Wet Wet
> Wet's was a cover version, too. And changing slightly won't get them
> out of paying royalties, either.

yeah, apparently the film's about makin' a christmas number one or something, and the guy that does it is....uhhh...this isn't going anywhere.

Put it this way. Have you heard the new christmassy ketchup song?
it was crap enough without having a looping 'jingle' sound in the background.

It's the devil's music!
Fri 19/12/03 at 09:53
Regular
"Hellfire Stoker"
Posts: 10,534
It's funny, but it's not number one material. Like the Hamsterdance. Which, incidentally, was great.
Fri 19/12/03 at 01:53
Regular
Posts: 11,038
I like proper Crimbo, probably becasue I like Bo selecta, which I only like for the quotes.
Thu 18/12/03 at 17:56
Regular
"\\"
Posts: 9,631
Wooo, Christmas number one... Just as crap as the other 50 weeks. Pffft.
Thu 18/12/03 at 17:44
Regular
"Twenty quid."
Posts: 11,452
Slaveunit wrote:
> Christmas is all around.
> Utter w**k. Whoever came up with this idea lost their only brain cell
> when they last cut their toenails. Even on the video the guy who
> sings it says that the song is rubbish. Note the fractionally
> different chord changes to aviod paying WWWet any money on royalties,
> and not only using the gag of getting girls in bikinis on the video
> to make men watch it, but saying it too.

It's called "a p*** take". The guy singing it is an actor who stars in 'Love, Actually' and he plays an ageing singer who's trying to make a comeback. And The Troggs did it first - Wet Wet Wet's was a cover version, too. And changing slightly won't get them out of paying royalties, either.
Thu 18/12/03 at 16:04
Regular
"A man with a stick"
Posts: 5,883
Insane Bartender wrote:
> Busted?
>
> Who?

Some trio of manufactured teenage rejects that seems very popular with the teeny bopper audience, probably because they have those crappy "comedy" video's where they all try to be funny.

I only need to mention the lyrics from one of their songs to prove how bad these clowns are, a song which goes "I've been to the year 3000, not much has changed but they live under water and your great, great, great granddaughter is pretty fine" best band in the world ever my ar*e.
Thu 18/12/03 at 15:57
Regular
"Lisan al-Gaib"
Posts: 7,093
Insane Bartender wrote:
> He finds it "kind of funny" as well, doesn't he?

Aye. I don't know if it's been released to buy though. I'm not a chart music listener.

Certainly would be better than any of the current crop of naff records "Proper Crimbo" anyone?

Dear Lord.........
Thu 18/12/03 at 15:57
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
Busted?

Who?

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