Viewing Thread:
"Family Guy Quotes Thread"

Just write whatever u think is funny that u've seen on Family Guy....Enjoy!

Peter & Lois, have no money and go to the black market.

Peter: I wonder if they'll accept string......Excuse me, do u accept string as payment?
Man at Counter: Dont you read the sign, *points back at sign*
Sign: Do Not Accept String As Payment.

*ugly guy walks in*

Peter : "aww Jeez, did someone open the Ark of the Covenant?"

Peter takes look back at his previous jobs

Man: D-
Peter: -OT
Both: DOT
Man: P-
Peter: -OT
Both: POT.
Peter: could u slow down a bit...
Man: F-
Peter: -AT
Man: FAT
Peter: Hey, that's enough! *Peter hits man*

"and she has apparently swallowed a record of semen.......
and that's the story on hurricane Belinda"

Death's Mother says to Death - If you don't listen to your mother a hen will lay eggs in your stomach!

-----

Death's Mum - Put on your sun screen!

Death - I don't have any skin Mum!

Death's Mum - That's because you didn't eat your beans!

Peter: i'm looking for a book on potty training?
Librarian: certainly, we have "Everybody poops"....?
Peter: ...nooo..
Librarian: ok, well there's the less popular "nobody poops but you"?
Peter: no, y'see...we're... we're catholic
Librarian: ah then you'll want "you're a NAUGHTY child and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you"

no no no , the best quote :

"Hi, want some chewing gum"
"Yeah, thanks!"
"HA HA, that's joke chewing gum, now you're addicted to heroin!"
*shakes*
"I feel cold"

Peter - "This is even worse than the time I went to the museum"

*Flashback of childhood*

Child Peter - "Why did the dinosaurs die out?"

Guide - "Because you touch yourself at night"

*Peter looks sad*

**chris is in a Sauna and Peter walks in too**

Peter - Hey Chris what's wrong with your leg? OHHH!??! **gasps as he realises that's not his leg**

Funny quotes OMF