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Every Saturday morning he goes fishing. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, takes the dog and off he goes...all day long. One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, makes his picnic, grabs the dog and climbs into the car.
Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down like a monsoon. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing at 40mph. He returns the car to the garage, goes into the house and flicks on the Ceefax weather forecast. He finds it's going to be bad all day long, so he returns the dog to its basket, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back and whispers: "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies: "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?"
Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down like a monsoon. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing at 40mph. He returns the car to the garage, goes into the house and flicks on the Ceefax weather forecast. He finds it's going to be bad all day long, so he returns the dog to its basket, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back and whispers: "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies: "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?"
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Whats the difference between giving a girl head and a speed camera?
You can see the c**t behind the bush when giving a girl head.
You can see the c**t behind the bush when giving a girl head.
I've run out. Anyone else?
If you have sex 365 times in a year and melt down all the condoms to make a tyre. What kind of tyre would you get?...
A fu**in Goodyear!!
****
365?...phhhft
A fu**in Goodyear!!
****
365?...phhhft
Yeah. Here's another:
An elderly man in Adelaide calls his son in Sydney on Christmas Eve and says: "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Brisbane and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts. "I'll take care of this." She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas, and paying their own airfares."
An elderly man in Adelaide calls his son in Sydney on Christmas Eve and says: "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Brisbane and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts. "I'll take care of this." She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas, and paying their own airfares."
A woman is standing naked in her room looking into her mirror.
She asks her boyfriend..."What do you think I go go to the fancy dress party as?"
He replies...
"Pull your pisss flaps over your head and go as a sugarpuff"
****
Hmmmm deja vu anyone?
She asks her boyfriend..."What do you think I go go to the fancy dress party as?"
He replies...
"Pull your pisss flaps over your head and go as a sugarpuff"
****
Hmmmm deja vu anyone?
Every Saturday morning he goes fishing. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, takes the dog and off he goes...all day long. One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, makes his picnic, grabs the dog and climbs into the car.
Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down like a monsoon. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing at 40mph. He returns the car to the garage, goes into the house and flicks on the Ceefax weather forecast. He finds it's going to be bad all day long, so he returns the dog to its basket, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back and whispers: "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies: "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?"
Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down like a monsoon. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing at 40mph. He returns the car to the garage, goes into the house and flicks on the Ceefax weather forecast. He finds it's going to be bad all day long, so he returns the dog to its basket, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back and whispers: "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies: "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?"
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