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"SR Soap 5 (Yes, 5)"

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Wed 03/12/03 at 20:54
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
The gerrid springs from his bed screaming, eyes wide open. His gaydar was on red alert, but his various passages were empty. This could mean only one thing - someone, somewhere, was doing perverted things with cats or cream cheese or morris dancers - and he wasn’t invited.

“What is it?” says the AJ, awakened by the noisings. “You look like you’ve seen an un-soiled Old Testament.”

“No, mygoodman, nothing like that (perish the thought). It seems that someone, somewhere, is >same as above<.”

“*Gasp*” says the AJ.

“All aboard the lurve train,” says the cookie, pootling.

“Not now, mummy,” says the gerrid.

-*- Some other stuff happens -*-

**

“w00t!” Says the Azul, “That’s some good twin-stapler action! Bring me the hole-punch.”

“Yes, madam,” says the jim-hat.

“Oh + no!” says the jim-hat. “My head is too big to fit through the door! And my toast is going cold! What ever shall I do?”

“Never, fear, pookie - I shall get it!”

“OH + NO!” The Azul screams (for once, not in a climax of any sorts). “It seems my head is too big as well! We shouldn’t have bigged ourselves up so much!”

“Indeed,” says the jim-hat, head lowered, “I can see now that our presence in this lame story could easily be replaced by any other random member of the forum with no noticable difference to the “plot line” whatsoever.”

“Yes, my good lady-boy, we are worthless to the creative talents of one Mr. FFF. He shall be our idol from now on. I am hunbled.”

“Yes,” says the jim-hat.

“Yes,” says Bucky O’Hare, and blasts some freaky aliens. Ya-roo!

“NOW!” Shouts the Azul, “Let us continue the proper story!” He pauses for a moment, considering where to start from. Then decided to say something unrelated to the story in every manner possible.
“Squish,” says he.

...

Er ...
More stuff happens.
.. then...

...

“Err...” says the jim-hat, “We’d better get down to the luvving again I suppose. Although this gay facade is wearing a little thin.”

“Yes,” says the Azul, “Just like your mum.” A-boom-boom-tish.
And stuff.

**

Right ...

“Rev Snuggly!” shouteth the gerrid, “We are in desperate need of your exploding årse burgers. You see, in a clever ploy, now people must read SR Soap 4 to understand the full working of the årse burgers.”

“Ah-ha!” shouteth the Snuggle-bunny, “Genius at work. Now - here are the burgers, I have loaded them with extra nitro and a -3 second fuse, so when you light them, they’ll go off 3 seconds in the past.”

“I see!” shouteth the AJ, although mostly just because everyone else was, “This will now complicate things with a radical time-travelling story line. So only really, really clever people will understand what’s going on.”

“Indeed, sir,” says the Snuggs, kliffeling.

**
gerrid has pin-pointed the gayness to a small room in the middle of a swamp for the mentally retarded. The signal had grown weak, but he could smell it now. They would pay.

“Bombs away!” screameth the gerrid, squatting.

“Yummy!” belloweth the AJ, “Now - let’s throw these årse burgers.”

They did so, and three seconds ago they exploded. You see?

“ARGGH!” says the jim-hat “My lucky poison tickling-stick is on fire!”

“Oh, nice one,” says the Azul, groaning.

“NOoo!” says the jim-hat, “It burns me so! Arrgrhhhh!” And he died.

“Nice one,” says the Azul, and continues his mating rituals with added gusto and a rubber band.

-enter the AJ and gerrid, stage left, in a wagon of keys-

“Hold it right there,” says the AJ, most cooly - like the Fonz, only less obviously gay. “We need to ask you a few questions.”

“Well, one,” pipeth up the gerrid, “Did you kidnap Tony?” Hurrah! There’s the story-line, you see?

“No, ma’m,” swears the Azul. “But I think the DW said something about Kidnapping Tony. Or it may have been a Beat-Rapping Phoney. I couldn’t hear very well at the time, on account of me being inside his area.”

“Oh. I see ...” says the AJ.

“May I?” questions the gerrid, nodding toward jim-hat’s dead body.

**END**

sorrah.
x2
Sat 06/12/03 at 16:56
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
+
Thu 04/12/03 at 19:35
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
You did indeed : P
Thu 04/12/03 at 19:34
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
I really did ask for that, didn't I.
Good all the same. But only when I read "Azul" as "Dave".

*Shudders*
Thu 04/12/03 at 19:25
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
KR wrote:
> Can I be in the next one?

Perhaps.
You understand, of course, that your body is mine to do with as I wish.
Thu 04/12/03 at 18:20
"LOLLERSKATES!"
Posts: 5,659
hilarious once again.
Wed 03/12/03 at 22:13
Regular
Posts: 23,218
Has Games Girl ever set foot inside a Classroom?
Wed 03/12/03 at 22:00
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
Out-performed by a retarded female 5-year-old.
Story of my life.
Wed 03/12/03 at 21:53
Regular
"sdomehtongng"
Posts: 23,695
Gámë§ Gì ® l ™ wrote:
> You know that Bucky O'Hare he has my sir name.

Sorry, FFF, but as brilliant as the original post was, this is quite possibly the most hilarious post I've ever read on these forums.

Plainly due to pure, simple, retardedness.
Wed 03/12/03 at 21:35
Regular
"She's a dog!"
Posts: 1,223
"So, what's it like in heaven?"
"There's a shortage of chairs."

That is typical family guy randomness.
Wed 03/12/03 at 21:30
Regular
"The Red Shift"
Posts: 6,807
Peter Venkman wrote:
> That was the most random thing I've ever read/seen...and I watch
> Family Guy.

what about when peter gives lois a ring box containing his finger, with him standing there bleeding to death. thats pretty damn random.

plus the times when peter randomly drops in a split second to the floor for no reason.

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