The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
I have a very bad feeling, growing from deep inside of me. My family says it’s probably just trapped wind, but I’m thinking it has to do with a string of disturbing, possibly linked news items I’ve come across recently.
For example, according to a obscure fishing magazine that my Granddad keeps purchasing for me, a Spanish fisherman going by the name Jose Rojas Mayarita, (pronounced “Bob”), age 39, got a rather large surprise while fishing alone in the ocean somewhere, you know the place. Just of the coast of Mexico. He managed to hook a 10-foot marlin, and all by himself he fought the mighty creature for two and a half hours. While he proceeded to battle with his slimy foe, the giant swordfish decided to take matters into his own, um, flippers, and proceeded to launch itself from the sea straight into Bob’s boat, impaling him. The marlin's spear went completely through poor Bob’s abdomen leaving the fisherman drifting in his boat until he was finally rescued two days later.
After a lengthy discussion with police no charges were filed against the marlin, which claimed that the attack was made as an act of self-defence. The marlin is also claiming that humans don’t feel pain the same way fish do and that therefore it had not acted inappropriately.
In a possibly related incident, left-wing communist squirrels in Manchester have been seen stealing English flags from bar’s, shops and even veteran’s graves. According to a recent article from an even more obscure wildlife magazine, (cheers Granddad), the squirrels have been stockpiling the flags in a several tree stumps in the lush grassiness that is Manchester city-centre.
No one has commented on just what the squirrels are planning, but I think it’s safe to assume that when small woodland creatures begin hording stolen English flags in tree stumps, they’re up to no good.
This could all be a huge coincidence, but if anyone sees a squirrel and a marlin whispering together in a corner, or possibly looking over blueprints of the House of Commons, please notify the appropriate authorities immediately. Also, if a local squirrel tries to take your flag, (which we all carry secreted about our persons at all times...just me? Ah well), don’t be a hero. Just give it to them.
I think these two stories are damning pieces of evidence that point towards a possible disturbing result for us all: animals are getting tired of being pushed around by humans, and they are now they ready to do something about it.
I can’t remember the last time my cat listened to something I said. Ok, my cat has never ACTUALLY listened, but that just proves my point further. She did seem vaguely interested once when I was telling her about the offside trap, but it turns out she was just preparing herself to pounce on my head, which she apparently "innocently" mistook for a giant dead mouse, (it’s happened to all of us at some point in our lives, hasn't it?)
These disturbing events are further validated by the series of public service announcement programs, “When animals attack I”, “When animals attack II”, and, “When animals attack IV”. I missed, “When Animals Attack III”, and so I can’t really comment on it. I think it clashed with, “Colombo”, otherwise I would have watched it.
Anyway, as this programming shows, (I mean, “When Animals Attack”, not,
“Colombo”, although, “When Animals Attack Colombo”, might make a pretty good show), animals will attack you just for looking at them funny, or even for just infringing on their personal space and poking at them with a sharp stick. Steve Irwin, if animals rise up, take over the world and enslave all humanity, I’m blaming you!
This is a very important issue, and something that I think that we as citizens must do our bit to prevent. So, as soon as you’re done reading this, go to a very public place, supermarket, cinema or such and start screaming, “The animals are plotting against us, don’t take your eye of them for a second. They’re smarter then you think!”
Meanwhile, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this terrifying topic, just as soon as I run out of other stuff to write about. In the meantime, I need to go feed my cat before she gets mad. I saw her whispering to a squirrel the other day, and I’m afraid she might be packing a concealed marlin.
For example, according to a obscure fishing magazine that my Granddad keeps purchasing for me, a Spanish fisherman going by the name Jose Rojas Mayarita, (pronounced “Bob”), age 39, got a rather large surprise while fishing alone in the ocean somewhere, you know the place. Just of the coast of Mexico. He managed to hook a 10-foot marlin, and all by himself he fought the mighty creature for two and a half hours. While he proceeded to battle with his slimy foe, the giant swordfish decided to take matters into his own, um, flippers, and proceeded to launch itself from the sea straight into Bob’s boat, impaling him. The marlin's spear went completely through poor Bob’s abdomen leaving the fisherman drifting in his boat until he was finally rescued two days later.
After a lengthy discussion with police no charges were filed against the marlin, which claimed that the attack was made as an act of self-defence. The marlin is also claiming that humans don’t feel pain the same way fish do and that therefore it had not acted inappropriately.
In a possibly related incident, left-wing communist squirrels in Manchester have been seen stealing English flags from bar’s, shops and even veteran’s graves. According to a recent article from an even more obscure wildlife magazine, (cheers Granddad), the squirrels have been stockpiling the flags in a several tree stumps in the lush grassiness that is Manchester city-centre.
No one has commented on just what the squirrels are planning, but I think it’s safe to assume that when small woodland creatures begin hording stolen English flags in tree stumps, they’re up to no good.
This could all be a huge coincidence, but if anyone sees a squirrel and a marlin whispering together in a corner, or possibly looking over blueprints of the House of Commons, please notify the appropriate authorities immediately. Also, if a local squirrel tries to take your flag, (which we all carry secreted about our persons at all times...just me? Ah well), don’t be a hero. Just give it to them.
I think these two stories are damning pieces of evidence that point towards a possible disturbing result for us all: animals are getting tired of being pushed around by humans, and they are now they ready to do something about it.
I can’t remember the last time my cat listened to something I said. Ok, my cat has never ACTUALLY listened, but that just proves my point further. She did seem vaguely interested once when I was telling her about the offside trap, but it turns out she was just preparing herself to pounce on my head, which she apparently "innocently" mistook for a giant dead mouse, (it’s happened to all of us at some point in our lives, hasn't it?)
These disturbing events are further validated by the series of public service announcement programs, “When animals attack I”, “When animals attack II”, and, “When animals attack IV”. I missed, “When Animals Attack III”, and so I can’t really comment on it. I think it clashed with, “Colombo”, otherwise I would have watched it.
Anyway, as this programming shows, (I mean, “When Animals Attack”, not,
“Colombo”, although, “When Animals Attack Colombo”, might make a pretty good show), animals will attack you just for looking at them funny, or even for just infringing on their personal space and poking at them with a sharp stick. Steve Irwin, if animals rise up, take over the world and enslave all humanity, I’m blaming you!
This is a very important issue, and something that I think that we as citizens must do our bit to prevent. So, as soon as you’re done reading this, go to a very public place, supermarket, cinema or such and start screaming, “The animals are plotting against us, don’t take your eye of them for a second. They’re smarter then you think!”
Meanwhile, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this terrifying topic, just as soon as I run out of other stuff to write about. In the meantime, I need to go feed my cat before she gets mad. I saw her whispering to a squirrel the other day, and I’m afraid she might be packing a concealed marlin.
Page:
And me.
I have loads of stuff, I forgot I ever wrote most of it.
It's quite funny- "Was I actually thinking that at the time?"
Ahhh dear.
I have loads of stuff, I forgot I ever wrote most of it.
It's quite funny- "Was I actually thinking that at the time?"
Ahhh dear.
Was just reading some of the stuff I wrote myself a few years back for school.
Laughed out loud a few times, even at some of my Year 8 and 9 work.
Laughed out loud a few times, even at some of my Year 8 and 9 work.
Maverick42 wrote:
> "When Animals attack Columbo"
Yeah, um, had to say "Colombo" for legal reasons...ahem.
> "When Animals attack Columbo"
Yeah, um, had to say "Colombo" for legal reasons...ahem.
Heh. Nice one. "When Animals attack Columbo" - like it.
Bizarre!
Bizarre!
By-the-by yet_another_bloke, are you AJ in disguise?
yet_another_bloke wrote:
> If you're a budding story-writer,
I'm not. I have written a few things and every now-and-then I have a little bit of a bash, so to speak.
> BTW - what gives with the Moisturizer?
Just because I'm a Bloke doesn't mean I can't be pretty.
I think Black Glove could take you up on your challenge though.
> If you're a budding story-writer,
I'm not. I have written a few things and every now-and-then I have a little bit of a bash, so to speak.
> BTW - what gives with the Moisturizer?
Just because I'm a Bloke doesn't mean I can't be pretty.
I think Black Glove could take you up on your challenge though.
Very funny. Well done English_Block (or may I call you English?).
I like the conspiracy theory. People call me paranoid, but this
story proves they're out to get me.
If you're a budding story-writer, here's my challenge to you.
Make something funny, witty, relevant, printable and (of course)
non-Scottish about a Malachite paperweight, an owl and a Chinchilla.
BTW - what gives with the Moisturizer?
I like the conspiracy theory. People call me paranoid, but this
story proves they're out to get me.
If you're a budding story-writer, here's my challenge to you.
Make something funny, witty, relevant, printable and (of course)
non-Scottish about a Malachite paperweight, an owl and a Chinchilla.
BTW - what gives with the Moisturizer?
This is something I wrote about a year ago mind. But, as you can see, I’m not all about drunks and death.
I’m about fluffy animals too!
I’m about fluffy animals too!
I have a very bad feeling, growing from deep inside of me. My family says it’s probably just trapped wind, but I’m thinking it has to do with a string of disturbing, possibly linked news items I’ve come across recently.
For example, according to a obscure fishing magazine that my Granddad keeps purchasing for me, a Spanish fisherman going by the name Jose Rojas Mayarita, (pronounced “Bob”), age 39, got a rather large surprise while fishing alone in the ocean somewhere, you know the place. Just of the coast of Mexico. He managed to hook a 10-foot marlin, and all by himself he fought the mighty creature for two and a half hours. While he proceeded to battle with his slimy foe, the giant swordfish decided to take matters into his own, um, flippers, and proceeded to launch itself from the sea straight into Bob’s boat, impaling him. The marlin's spear went completely through poor Bob’s abdomen leaving the fisherman drifting in his boat until he was finally rescued two days later.
After a lengthy discussion with police no charges were filed against the marlin, which claimed that the attack was made as an act of self-defence. The marlin is also claiming that humans don’t feel pain the same way fish do and that therefore it had not acted inappropriately.
In a possibly related incident, left-wing communist squirrels in Manchester have been seen stealing English flags from bar’s, shops and even veteran’s graves. According to a recent article from an even more obscure wildlife magazine, (cheers Granddad), the squirrels have been stockpiling the flags in a several tree stumps in the lush grassiness that is Manchester city-centre.
No one has commented on just what the squirrels are planning, but I think it’s safe to assume that when small woodland creatures begin hording stolen English flags in tree stumps, they’re up to no good.
This could all be a huge coincidence, but if anyone sees a squirrel and a marlin whispering together in a corner, or possibly looking over blueprints of the House of Commons, please notify the appropriate authorities immediately. Also, if a local squirrel tries to take your flag, (which we all carry secreted about our persons at all times...just me? Ah well), don’t be a hero. Just give it to them.
I think these two stories are damning pieces of evidence that point towards a possible disturbing result for us all: animals are getting tired of being pushed around by humans, and they are now they ready to do something about it.
I can’t remember the last time my cat listened to something I said. Ok, my cat has never ACTUALLY listened, but that just proves my point further. She did seem vaguely interested once when I was telling her about the offside trap, but it turns out she was just preparing herself to pounce on my head, which she apparently "innocently" mistook for a giant dead mouse, (it’s happened to all of us at some point in our lives, hasn't it?)
These disturbing events are further validated by the series of public service announcement programs, “When animals attack I”, “When animals attack II”, and, “When animals attack IV”. I missed, “When Animals Attack III”, and so I can’t really comment on it. I think it clashed with, “Colombo”, otherwise I would have watched it.
Anyway, as this programming shows, (I mean, “When Animals Attack”, not,
“Colombo”, although, “When Animals Attack Colombo”, might make a pretty good show), animals will attack you just for looking at them funny, or even for just infringing on their personal space and poking at them with a sharp stick. Steve Irwin, if animals rise up, take over the world and enslave all humanity, I’m blaming you!
This is a very important issue, and something that I think that we as citizens must do our bit to prevent. So, as soon as you’re done reading this, go to a very public place, supermarket, cinema or such and start screaming, “The animals are plotting against us, don’t take your eye of them for a second. They’re smarter then you think!”
Meanwhile, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this terrifying topic, just as soon as I run out of other stuff to write about. In the meantime, I need to go feed my cat before she gets mad. I saw her whispering to a squirrel the other day, and I’m afraid she might be packing a concealed marlin.
For example, according to a obscure fishing magazine that my Granddad keeps purchasing for me, a Spanish fisherman going by the name Jose Rojas Mayarita, (pronounced “Bob”), age 39, got a rather large surprise while fishing alone in the ocean somewhere, you know the place. Just of the coast of Mexico. He managed to hook a 10-foot marlin, and all by himself he fought the mighty creature for two and a half hours. While he proceeded to battle with his slimy foe, the giant swordfish decided to take matters into his own, um, flippers, and proceeded to launch itself from the sea straight into Bob’s boat, impaling him. The marlin's spear went completely through poor Bob’s abdomen leaving the fisherman drifting in his boat until he was finally rescued two days later.
After a lengthy discussion with police no charges were filed against the marlin, which claimed that the attack was made as an act of self-defence. The marlin is also claiming that humans don’t feel pain the same way fish do and that therefore it had not acted inappropriately.
In a possibly related incident, left-wing communist squirrels in Manchester have been seen stealing English flags from bar’s, shops and even veteran’s graves. According to a recent article from an even more obscure wildlife magazine, (cheers Granddad), the squirrels have been stockpiling the flags in a several tree stumps in the lush grassiness that is Manchester city-centre.
No one has commented on just what the squirrels are planning, but I think it’s safe to assume that when small woodland creatures begin hording stolen English flags in tree stumps, they’re up to no good.
This could all be a huge coincidence, but if anyone sees a squirrel and a marlin whispering together in a corner, or possibly looking over blueprints of the House of Commons, please notify the appropriate authorities immediately. Also, if a local squirrel tries to take your flag, (which we all carry secreted about our persons at all times...just me? Ah well), don’t be a hero. Just give it to them.
I think these two stories are damning pieces of evidence that point towards a possible disturbing result for us all: animals are getting tired of being pushed around by humans, and they are now they ready to do something about it.
I can’t remember the last time my cat listened to something I said. Ok, my cat has never ACTUALLY listened, but that just proves my point further. She did seem vaguely interested once when I was telling her about the offside trap, but it turns out she was just preparing herself to pounce on my head, which she apparently "innocently" mistook for a giant dead mouse, (it’s happened to all of us at some point in our lives, hasn't it?)
These disturbing events are further validated by the series of public service announcement programs, “When animals attack I”, “When animals attack II”, and, “When animals attack IV”. I missed, “When Animals Attack III”, and so I can’t really comment on it. I think it clashed with, “Colombo”, otherwise I would have watched it.
Anyway, as this programming shows, (I mean, “When Animals Attack”, not,
“Colombo”, although, “When Animals Attack Colombo”, might make a pretty good show), animals will attack you just for looking at them funny, or even for just infringing on their personal space and poking at them with a sharp stick. Steve Irwin, if animals rise up, take over the world and enslave all humanity, I’m blaming you!
This is a very important issue, and something that I think that we as citizens must do our bit to prevent. So, as soon as you’re done reading this, go to a very public place, supermarket, cinema or such and start screaming, “The animals are plotting against us, don’t take your eye of them for a second. They’re smarter then you think!”
Meanwhile, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this terrifying topic, just as soon as I run out of other stuff to write about. In the meantime, I need to go feed my cat before she gets mad. I saw her whispering to a squirrel the other day, and I’m afraid she might be packing a concealed marlin.
Page: