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The Naked Man (true story)
My family and myself were all gathered around the dog, which was wearing his transparent, plastic lampshade, after he had eaten his lavish dog food. It was only lavish because it was fish and rice, which is heavenly food to a dog. After his operation he was treated like a King. The operation had only come about when he had met a plastic doll.
With my father and my dog, we were walking around the local field nick named "Burnt Log". This field had this name because a couple of years earlier it had a huge, smouldered log. If you were to stand on this log you could see the house's blue garage. But the log was long gone now and as we passed the spot where it had once lay, we noticed a small expressionless face in-bedded in tangled grass. My dog went about his daily business, sticking his nose into the weeds and the occasional prickly one, then he saw it, the same emotionless face, staring back at him. He immediately stuck his whiskery snout into the little man's face. He battered him around a bit, exposing the fact that he wasn’t wearing any clothes. After this small play with the doll, he picked it up in his tight grip of his teeth and began to take him home, with a small quiet satisfaction on his face.
He actually managed to transport the naked, Chinese, man all the way home, usually if this hadn't been an item he cherished it would have been left in the field.
My father and myself had thought that this is what had happened, but it wasn’t. Some how my dog managed to smuggle the little doll into the house with out us knowing. As a strict rule for my dog all his toys were to be taken away from him, just in case the following thing would ever happen.
The next morning my mother had come down to find my dog in the kitchen with body parts. There were body parts, but no head, some where there was a decapitated head. The small plastic body parts of the Chinese man were spewed across the floor, they were disposed of immediately into the bin. But the head was still severed some where. My dog was quite happy with what he had accomplished and carried on with his daily routine.
A whole day went past without report on the missing head. If a dog could have looked pale I am sure my dog would have looked green. He wasn’t well at all, he lost his energetic spark because he couldn’t eat.
He did manage to get some food down, but it didn’t stay down, it was thrown across the yard in a un-describable mixture of multi-coloured liquid. It wasn’t pleasant especially for the my father who had the nasty job of clearing it up.
“Poor dog,” my mother said concerned.
“Poor dog?” inquired my father, “What about me?”
“Never mind that, I blame that little naked Chinese man!” mother said not realising how silly this sounded, “He will have to go to the vets.”
My dog was taken as soon as possible to the vets, where he was examined by an Australian vet called Greg. As soon as we had entered his tidy green room we were hit by a wave of dental smells, but we were in a vet’s room.
“What's up with this fella then?” his hands feeling the dogs stomach, “There is definitely something in his stomach, this would explain the illness,” he continued, “Well what I would like to do is,” he paused briefly, “is to get this fell into x-ray to see what's going on.”
Later that day we received a phone call saying that my dog will need surgery and they had seen an object twisted in his stomach.
The next day my dog was under the knife which was in the sturdy hand of Greg. My dog was peaceful because he was under the influence of the gas. Surgery was soon well under way and it was going to be completed soon. Soon Greg had got to the troubled area of the stomach. And there in bedded, not in weeds and roots this time, but in blood and twisted stomach, was the same expressionless face, which was once in the field. What a journey.
Suddenly Greg said, “Core blimey mate!” as his eyes had found the face.
The Chinese man’s head was erected immediately from my dog’s stomach and sealed in a jar. The man’s journey was finally over and he had done all the damage he was ever going to do.
So this is how my dog ended up with a luxury meal in front of him, all because of his addiction to eat dolls. Under the advice of Greg he was to stay on soft foods for a few days. Soft foods, such as: rice and fish.
I have posted this in the life forum, but no body was there so here it is, enjoy!
My family and myself were all gathered around the dog, which was wearing his transparent, plastic lampshade, after he had eaten his lavish dog food. It was only lavish because it was fish and rice, which is heavenly food to a dog. After his operation he was treated like a King. The operation had only come about when he had met a plastic doll.
With my father and my dog, we were walking around the local field nick named "Burnt Log". This field had this name because a couple of years earlier it had a huge, smouldered log. If you were to stand on this log you could see the house's blue garage. But the log was long gone now and as we passed the spot where it had once lay, we noticed a small expressionless face in-bedded in tangled grass. My dog went about his daily business, sticking his nose into the weeds and the occasional prickly one, then he saw it, the same emotionless face, staring back at him. He immediately stuck his whiskery snout into the little man's face. He battered him around a bit, exposing the fact that he wasn’t wearing any clothes. After this small play with the doll, he picked it up in his tight grip of his teeth and began to take him home, with a small quiet satisfaction on his face.
He actually managed to transport the naked, Chinese, man all the way home, usually if this hadn't been an item he cherished it would have been left in the field.
My father and myself had thought that this is what had happened, but it wasn’t. Some how my dog managed to smuggle the little doll into the house with out us knowing. As a strict rule for my dog all his toys were to be taken away from him, just in case the following thing would ever happen.
The next morning my mother had come down to find my dog in the kitchen with body parts. There were body parts, but no head, some where there was a decapitated head. The small plastic body parts of the Chinese man were spewed across the floor, they were disposed of immediately into the bin. But the head was still severed some where. My dog was quite happy with what he had accomplished and carried on with his daily routine.
A whole day went past without report on the missing head. If a dog could have looked pale I am sure my dog would have looked green. He wasn’t well at all, he lost his energetic spark because he couldn’t eat.
He did manage to get some food down, but it didn’t stay down, it was thrown across the yard in a un-describable mixture of multi-coloured liquid. It wasn’t pleasant especially for the my father who had the nasty job of clearing it up.
“Poor dog,” my mother said concerned.
“Poor dog?” inquired my father, “What about me?”
“Never mind that, I blame that little naked Chinese man!” mother said not realising how silly this sounded, “He will have to go to the vets.”
My dog was taken as soon as possible to the vets, where he was examined by an Australian vet called Greg. As soon as we had entered his tidy green room we were hit by a wave of dental smells, but we were in a vet’s room.
“What's up with this fella then?” his hands feeling the dogs stomach, “There is definitely something in his stomach, this would explain the illness,” he continued, “Well what I would like to do is,” he paused briefly, “is to get this fell into x-ray to see what's going on.”
Later that day we received a phone call saying that my dog will need surgery and they had seen an object twisted in his stomach.
The next day my dog was under the knife which was in the sturdy hand of Greg. My dog was peaceful because he was under the influence of the gas. Surgery was soon well under way and it was going to be completed soon. Soon Greg had got to the troubled area of the stomach. And there in bedded, not in weeds and roots this time, but in blood and twisted stomach, was the same expressionless face, which was once in the field. What a journey.
Suddenly Greg said, “Core blimey mate!” as his eyes had found the face.
The Chinese man’s head was erected immediately from my dog’s stomach and sealed in a jar. The man’s journey was finally over and he had done all the damage he was ever going to do.
So this is how my dog ended up with a luxury meal in front of him, all because of his addiction to eat dolls. Under the advice of Greg he was to stay on soft foods for a few days. Soft foods, such as: rice and fish.
I have posted this in the life forum, but no body was there so here it is, enjoy!
Page:
Good your back here.
hole was so small i could run out of it.
Isn't it slightly ironic that as the discussion turns to posts talking of retardedness, you show up?
You're another one of those idiots that thinks quoting a big list of words and putting a small message at the bottom is going to give you a bigger word count, and therefore make you more popular. Well, right now, I can tell you that the only thing you're doing to yourself is making enemies.
Good luck in trying to find a ladder, because you've dug yourself into a really large hole.
You're another one of those idiots that thinks quoting a big list of words and putting a small message at the bottom is going to give you a bigger word count, and therefore make you more popular. Well, right now, I can tell you that the only thing you're doing to yourself is making enemies.
Good luck in trying to find a ladder, because you've dug yourself into a really large hole.
no, he's not like you.
Gígž wrote:
> Your arguement is well... ...constucted, yeah I can really see your
> point of veiw with all that evidence to back it up...
You want evidence? Heh. Muuuuuh.
Did you not know that you copied a massive posts and put a stupid message at the bottom?
Are you retarded, or do you just suffer huge memory loss?
> Your arguement is well... ...constucted, yeah I can really see your
> point of veiw with all that evidence to back it up...
You want evidence? Heh. Muuuuuh.
Did you not know that you copied a massive posts and put a stupid message at the bottom?
Are you retarded, or do you just suffer huge memory loss?
Timmargh wrote:
> AfroJoe wrote:
> Gigz, Aoe, baz.
>
> You're all idiots.
>
> Hear, hear. Idiots.
Your arguement is well... ...constucted, yeah I can really see your point of veiw with all that evidence to back it up...
> AfroJoe wrote:
> Gigz, Aoe, baz.
>
> You're all idiots.
>
> Hear, hear. Idiots.
Your arguement is well... ...constucted, yeah I can really see your point of veiw with all that evidence to back it up...
Erm... yeah great arguement there...
AfroJoe wrote:
> Gigz, Aoe, baz.
>
> You're all idiots.
Hear, hear. Idiots.
> Gigz, Aoe, baz.
>
> You're all idiots.
Hear, hear. Idiots.
AJ
VJ - MSN
VJ - MSN
Gigz, Aoe, baz.
You're all idiots.
You're all idiots.
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