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"Harry Potter - Worse than I thought"

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Sun 23/11/03 at 15:11
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
I watched the first Harry Potter movie this morning, and I couldn't believe how bad it was.

Don't read on if you haven't seen it, and don't want to read 'plot' spoilers.

I haven't read any of the books, and had avoided it in the past so as to not get taken in my the hype, but as it happened to be on Sky Movies this morning, I thought I'd give it a go.

Admittedly I missed the first 15 minutes or so, but the movie is so slow, that I doubt that would have mattered at all.

My biggest problem with the movie is the acting. None of the kids are at all convincing. Everything they say sounds forced, and the dialogue is like a example of poor exposition throughout.

The movie just seems to plod from one aimless set piece to the next, none of which are in the least bit impressive.

Quidditch is a thoroughly pointless game too. Honestly, what kind of sport would have a rule in which catching a stupid gold ball means that you win, completely negating all the scoring that had gone before hand, making the roles of the rest of the team pointless? Stupid. And the reason why Harry got to play? He disobeyed orders and caught a ball when he wasn't supposed to be flying. Stupid, he should have been expelled.

Another thing, getting onto the stupid platform. Why was it in the middle of the wall, shouldn't it have been 3/4 of the way along? Otherwise it's 9 1/2, isn't it?

The chess game at the end was so slow, and not only that the stupid Ron or was it Rod? kid didn't look like he'd been hurt at all, he didn't even get hit. Plus his one-liners were completely crap all through the film.

The end bit with the villian not being the guy you expect. Oh well done JK, slow hand-clap. A great example of a twist at the end, simply be not telling people stuff during the movie. Well done. One step up from having Harry wake up and it was all a dream.

It was far too long, given that most of what goes in the middle doesn't matter. They see the dog with three heads, and that there is a trap door beneath it, but they don't go down their for another hour or so after they see it. Basically, that whole hour doesn't matter, as it tells us nothing we couldn't have guessed.

And what was the whole film about again? From the ending, you would have thought that it was which form got the most house points. As if any kid cares about house points. How convenient that they got just enough points to win.

Then there was the scene after it, before they get on the train.

Harry Potter goes up to Hagrid, and Hagrid says "thought you were going to leave without saying goodbye?" Well that makes no sense at all. If someone comes up to you before they leave, you can't say that to them, because they're clearly approaching in order to say goodbye, aren't they? Now had Harry have been about to step on the train and Robbie Coltrane grabbed him and delivered the line, well then it would make sense, but not the way they did it.

Well at least I gave it a go, and needn't bother to watch any of the future films in the series or read any of the books. It's too slow to be a decent kids movie, and too dull and childish for adults, with no redeeming features whatsoever.
Mon 24/11/03 at 12:29
Regular
Posts: 21,800
Keep meaning to watch this but every time it's on Sky Movies, I can never be assed.

Still haven't watched Lord of the Rings either.
Sun 23/11/03 at 22:44
Regular
"Look!!! Changed!!!1"
Posts: 2,072
I thought it was alright as well. Problem is if you want to hate it, you will. Much like any movie - the rambling, petty reasons for disliking it tacked onto the end of the original post smack of just that idea. I'm not saying if you watching it without prejudice you'd think it was the best movie ever, you'd just be a little more forgiving.
Sun 23/11/03 at 18:59
Regular
"Twenty quid."
Posts: 11,452
What did you expect? It's a film for kids based on a book for kids. It's not the best ever made by any means but it wasn't half bad and I'm not ashamed to say I quite enjoyed it for what it was: a kids film.
Sun 23/11/03 at 17:18
Regular
Posts: 302
The kid who actually plays Harry Potter is a deformed spastic.
Sun 23/11/03 at 15:40
Regular
"gsybe you!"
Posts: 18,825
I wait with feverish anticipation to see how Goblet Of Fire is going to be represented as better than 1984/LOTR/Great Expectations/Catch 22 etc in The Big Read.

*rubs hands*
Sun 23/11/03 at 15:27
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
Ha ha ha, it's crap isn't it!

*remembers that he had to see both films at cinema because of girlfriend's little sister*

I suddenly feel so ashamed...
Sun 23/11/03 at 15:11
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
I watched the first Harry Potter movie this morning, and I couldn't believe how bad it was.

Don't read on if you haven't seen it, and don't want to read 'plot' spoilers.

I haven't read any of the books, and had avoided it in the past so as to not get taken in my the hype, but as it happened to be on Sky Movies this morning, I thought I'd give it a go.

Admittedly I missed the first 15 minutes or so, but the movie is so slow, that I doubt that would have mattered at all.

My biggest problem with the movie is the acting. None of the kids are at all convincing. Everything they say sounds forced, and the dialogue is like a example of poor exposition throughout.

The movie just seems to plod from one aimless set piece to the next, none of which are in the least bit impressive.

Quidditch is a thoroughly pointless game too. Honestly, what kind of sport would have a rule in which catching a stupid gold ball means that you win, completely negating all the scoring that had gone before hand, making the roles of the rest of the team pointless? Stupid. And the reason why Harry got to play? He disobeyed orders and caught a ball when he wasn't supposed to be flying. Stupid, he should have been expelled.

Another thing, getting onto the stupid platform. Why was it in the middle of the wall, shouldn't it have been 3/4 of the way along? Otherwise it's 9 1/2, isn't it?

The chess game at the end was so slow, and not only that the stupid Ron or was it Rod? kid didn't look like he'd been hurt at all, he didn't even get hit. Plus his one-liners were completely crap all through the film.

The end bit with the villian not being the guy you expect. Oh well done JK, slow hand-clap. A great example of a twist at the end, simply be not telling people stuff during the movie. Well done. One step up from having Harry wake up and it was all a dream.

It was far too long, given that most of what goes in the middle doesn't matter. They see the dog with three heads, and that there is a trap door beneath it, but they don't go down their for another hour or so after they see it. Basically, that whole hour doesn't matter, as it tells us nothing we couldn't have guessed.

And what was the whole film about again? From the ending, you would have thought that it was which form got the most house points. As if any kid cares about house points. How convenient that they got just enough points to win.

Then there was the scene after it, before they get on the train.

Harry Potter goes up to Hagrid, and Hagrid says "thought you were going to leave without saying goodbye?" Well that makes no sense at all. If someone comes up to you before they leave, you can't say that to them, because they're clearly approaching in order to say goodbye, aren't they? Now had Harry have been about to step on the train and Robbie Coltrane grabbed him and delivered the line, well then it would make sense, but not the way they did it.

Well at least I gave it a go, and needn't bother to watch any of the future films in the series or read any of the books. It's too slow to be a decent kids movie, and too dull and childish for adults, with no redeeming features whatsoever.

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