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"The day that changed my life"

It is with a very heavy heart that i have decided to share my story with everyone, it's a true story and i hope it will make you all cherish the special people in your lives.

Two years ago my life changed dramatically, at the time i was a care free nineteen year old who thought that life couldn't get much better, after years of a very difficult relationship with my mother we had finally become friends, in fact only two weeks before i had returned from a fantastic trip to the USA where she lived with her husband and an older sister of mine. I remember exactly when i realised that after all we had been through my mother was in fact my 'mum' and not a stranger who didnt love me (this was the story that had been imprinted on my mind by other family members for as long as i can remember).

My morning started with a visit from my cousin, she said that it was urgent that i go to my grandparents house straight away, so urgent in fact that she wouldnt allow me to even get dressed or tidy myself up at all. I remember sitting in her car wondering what could possibly be so bad that she couldn't tell me right there and then. Many different thoughts ran through my head especially when we appoached my grandparents house and an ambulance was stationed outside of it. At first i thought something had happened to my grampa as he is quite elderly and had been ill recently, but when i saw the faces of my cousins who were stood outside of their house i knew this couldn't be so. They looked at me knowing that what i was about to be told would ruin my life forever, that it affected them but would almost kill me.

As i entered the house i was very confused, there was my gramps and my nan, aunties, cousins, uncles and even my elder sisters,they were crying but fine, my mind was on overdrive. As my grandad approached me i heard my youngest sister ( at the time she was 17) crying and screaming, i ran upstairs to see what was wrong, she was pulling at her own hair and biting her hands and acting almost like a person who should be in a mental hospital. What on earth could of happened to make everyone act like this? This is when i finally found out what had happened, and i was the last to know.

''Whats the matter'' i asked her.
''she's dead'' she screamed.
''who's dead'' i asked.
''mum'' she said, ''mums dead''.

at this point she realised that i hadn't known. I stood staring at her for a few seconds and then i turned around and ran, if my grandad hadn't been at the bottom of the stairs i'm not sure how far i would have gotten before i finally stopped, he grabbed me and held me so tight, i colapsed and burst into tears.

This was the day that changed my life !!! I try to live life as full as i can now and appreciate every day i have with my family and my son. I hope you all do too. x

I am so sorry to hear thhis. It does make me think how lucky I am.

One night two years ago now I woke from a deep sleep in panik - I knew something was wrong with one of my family. I ran into my little brothers room and he was fine. I slowly went downstairs to find my mums head knocking back and forth. She could not feel anything and she was in tears. I felt like I wanted to throw up. The time in which she was so ill and paralysed i thought she might die. It has made it even clearer reading this that even though at times - most times we argue like mad I am so lucky and grateful to have been blessed with a family. That my mum made it through because it could of been much worse.

Thanks for sharing this I am sorry it has happened. I am very glad you got to see your mother for who she was and enjoyed her company instead of seeing your relationship as you had done in the past. That in itself is a blessing that you had that if you hadnt that would of been even more awful.

I hope that you can remember her for these good times you had and that over time you can think of her with a smile without being upset.

God bless hun

I know!! its strange how things turn out, i was speaking to my sister earlier about it and we both still break out into tears. Its really painfull especially with christmas coming and no mum around.

Damn, that's bad. So basically he paid $150 by taking two lives? Bloody insane.

The boy who was driving the car didnt go to jail, and had to pay a $150 fine, im not sure exactly why he wasnt charged, the judge said due to the fact that he had admitted himself into a hospital that night and they didnt test him for drink and drugs and there were no witnesses he couldn't be charged. I must state that this boy was also the son of the mayor of the town where my mum lived, even though this shouldn't be a factor part of me believes that this was a reason that his sentance was so leniant.

Money and even a court sentance never bothered me, by making him pay would never return my mum and her husband. However i was upset by the fact that ni apology was ever made in court or out of it. When we laid flowers at the site where she died i looked several times to see if there was a card or even some flowers from this boy, the story of my mothers death was in all of the main papers so the boy would have known that my mum was a mother of five and a grandmother of three, i think i was disappointed that he had and still hasnt ever tried to make contact, (all of my families addresses are on the court documents that were released to him). I think what hurts even more is the fact that one month later his dad went and bought him the exact brand new car which he had the accident in.

I dont hate people but part of me hurts for the way that he has and hasnt reacted towards what he has done.

It would take an extraodinary individual not to care. You'll meet the family of the people you just killed, see their grief, and learn what it is they've lost.

Such a lack of compassion is generally linkde with psychopaths anyway, meaning the person in question should be locked up, strapped up and fed tranquilisers for the rest of their days.

But what if that person really didn't care about what he/she did?

By the way pinkypanther, is that guy in jail now?

It's a twisted way of making them suffer. I've seen what it does to people when they cause the death of another through their own negligence. It utterly destroys them.

That sucks. Why is it that the people who cause accidents are usually the ones who don't get injured?

My mum and her husband were on their way to pick up a dvd one night, they thought it would be easier to take her husbands motorbike as they had both recently qualified and had all of the necessary safety gear (helmets etc). They were going north bound when a young man (19 i think) drove through a red light and drove into them from the side, my mums husband died instantly as the handle bars turned onto his stomach and crushed all of his internal organs, he also broke his neck, leg and back, so there really wasnt a chance of him being saved. My mother was thrown 15 feet from the bike and went into cardiac arrest, i have never really found out the true extent of her injuries as i think that would be too painfull, all i know is that she died in the middle of the road twenty minutes later. The young man who drove into them survived unhurt.

Sorry to hear that.

I agree with cookie monster. I will probably feel very lonely too when my parents die, which I even hate to write. Although I expect almost everyone feels like that.