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"Chillies and willies, or cooking with extreme pain"

Last night I made a curry, a proper one with real ingredients. I had some hot chillies and so I deseeded and chopped them to go into the curry paste. Then I washed my hands. Then I had to go to the toilet: to do that I had to touch a certain part of my anatomy, and as soon as I did it was filled with such pain that I was sure that I would die, and not a moment too soon. Sadly I survived and for the next five hours my groinal area felt as if it were on fire. I believe that a burning sensation is a symptom of cetain STDs so I kept pretty quiet about it, but it took the shine off an otherwise delicious curry.

When I went to bed I took my contact lenses out and my eyes went the way of my groin, even though - and this is the important bit - I HAD WASHED MY HANDS A LEAST A BILLION TIMES.

On average I repeat this pantomime once a fortnight.

Does anyone have any tips for removing chillie residue from your hands? Or failing that, any stories of food related woe?

ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> The Zeppo wrote:
> It was hil-arious. It wasn't
> pointless. Nuh-uh.
>
> someone describing your life again?

borat, Zeppo is obviously winning, and he's like an obnoxious fly - you can't swat it and it wont go away, so just admit defeat.

ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> The Zeppo wrote:
> It was hil-arious. It wasn't
> pointless. Nuh-uh.
>
> someone describing your life again?


That was very funny and clever....in Bizarro Land.

The Zeppo wrote:
> It was hil-arious. It wasn't
> pointless. Nuh-uh.

someone describing your life again?

Lil Ginge wrote:

> BURRRRRNS


Thanks for that superb ending. It was hil-arious. It wasn't pointless. Nuh-uh.

vicks and chillies aren't in the same league.

if vicks was stubbing your toe, chilli oil would be hitting it with a sledgehammer .... :)

HA HA HA!!!

Other than feeling an extreme sense of sympathy for you I had to laugh...quite alot.

Not food but I had that vicks stuff on my hands. I washed it off after applying it to 'certain' areas and when I rubbed my eye as I was sleepy the pain...the immense pain and flood of tears that followed. Not sad ones forced 'theres shat in my eye so bodily response is to cry the burnout'


BURRRRRNS

ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:

> *dribbles*


Lets hope you're not literally dribbling, because that would be a turn-off. Unless your dribbling from places other than your mouth. Non-sweat. Non-hair grease.

unknown kernel wrote:
> I'm fed up with cooking. In future the price I pay for good food will
> be £7 down my local Indian takeaway.

you're better off, for all the ffff'in about you do, and all the price you pay for fresh ingredients, and all the burning nads you get, you could pay a deep sea diver at the local indian for a slap up meal.

at my local you get a huge meal, bhajis, poppadums, chutney, salad, onions - all for a fiver. and it tastes quite divine.

*dribbles*

I'm fed up with cooking. In future the price I pay for good food will be £7 down my local Indian takeaway.

I got chilli oil up my nose which was pain on a stick, and in my eye, which was eye-streamingly good.

that's the price you pay for good food ....